The Pages that Tell My Story
by LF7
Summary: So, maybe my life is a fairytale. But, like a sad Nicholas Sparks one where a whole bunch of drama happens, but always ends with the people together happily and with their love even stronger. Only this time no one's going to die.
1. Tryin' to decide, tryin' to decide

_Do not hate me! I'm so sorry, it's taking me forever to update Definitely Something. I mean I have the last 2 chapters. I just I don't know, it's just not perfect, ya know. I will get them up soon, though. I promise._

_And yes, i do know that Casey is a bit OOC, but this is fiction right. Which -since the last time i checked- definition is COMPLETELY made up. LOL. No, it's meant that way for the story. Sorry, if it bugs you._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek.**

**The Pages that Tell My Story**

**By- Laura Ferrari**

**Chapter 1: The Beginning of my Ending**

July 30, 2009, Living Room

"Casey? Is that you?" He screeches in disbelief.

They (Mom, George, Liz, Edwin, Marti, Derek, and Trisha) were all gathered in the living room as I descended down the stairs.

Here's a little tid bit of information about me.

I don't take rejection well. Never have. I guess it probably started when my dad rejected Liz, my mom and I. So, I spend all my time obsessing over being absolutely perfect, so that – in no way – could anyone ever reject me. People want the best. And if you're the best, people will want you…

I thought.

And mostly, I was right. For years and years I was right! And it feels _good _to be right!

That all changed when I moved into the Venturi home – best years of my life, obviously – and met Derek Venturi. Oh, Derek. There are _so_ many words that can describe this _animal._ I mean, I can't think of any off the top of my head – jerk, pervert, asshole – but, then again, I never was quick with words.

The three years I spent in the Venturi home were something else. I have _never_ before in my life felt so _powerless_, so _infuriated_, so _inferior_. And do you know how hard it is to be perfect under those circumstances? Incredibly. Derek was so full of himself, it was disgusting. AND THEN to make it worse we were FORCED to move in together for college. As if it wasn't bad enough I was going to the same college as he was. That alone was just insulting.

Okay, he wasn't really that dumb, just lazy. But, our parents said something about it being _cheaper, _and that they couldn't be expected to pay for two college tuitions at the same time without us giving a little – to which I totally said, "um, yeah, you remember that rich father I have, right? Make him pay some freaking child support for once." Stupid feminist rules. –

Regardless, we ended up living together in the same 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment.

And this is the part where I'm supposed to go on and on about how much I couldn't stand it. How we fought and yelled and screamed, until I cried, and we almost got thrown out of the apartment complex a few times. And that's exactly how it was – for the first 3 years. But, that last year, I don't know. Something happened. We got kind of close.

So, we tried it out - us kinda-sorta being together. And it worked for a while. Everyone was real cool about it, so I didn't worry too much, but, as all good things go it has to end sometime. And it did.

But, Derek, being so gracious and all, didn't leave without leaving me something.

Oh yeah, Pregnant.

But, only he doesn't know. And we broke up in January. And he's engaged.

Yeah, try _that _roller coaster, big guy. _You'll _want to get off.

Not only am I gonna be a mother out of wedlock, I just _ruined_ my future. OVER DEREK! That's the part that gets me. But, as of lately I've been working as an assistant at a law firm. But, I'm going on maternity leave in a few weeks. They didn't know about my being pregnant when I was hired- to be fair, neither did I, but they were totally cool about it.

I might have said something about the Baby's Daddy refusing to help me, though. I don't remember. Pregnant people have bad memories, I hear.-

But, my mom is forcing me to tell him, and to tell him it's his, when they come back from their summer in Hawaii – YEAH! I said SUMMER! (Big shot hockey player takes his fiancé of four months to Hawaii for the summer. And where did he take sorta kinda girlfriend/ step-sister/baby's mama of six months: uh huh, No where.) But, we were still on good terms and all. After we broke up – it took me three months to realize I was pregnant- we actually became really good friends. And, it's not like I wanted him back.

But, I'm still nervous. But, I guess there really is no way I can hide this. I'm huge. And he's not that dumb, he can count.

Here goes nothing.

"Yeah, hey!" I waddled - not joking. I cannot walk- over to him and _Trisha _and gave him a hug. He didn't return the hug for a bit (which stung) but, then awkwardly patted my back.

"You're pregnant." Derek stated, pulling my body away from his so he could see my stomach.

Here I totally wanted to say, "No, duh, Captain Obvious. Are you like on CSI?" but I didn't. I'm working on my inner calmness, in preparation for my child-to-be.

And because everyone was in the room, and they keep claiming I've been really hormonally bitchy lately.

So instead I was all, "Uh huh." And then all sing-songy, I went. "Guess what?" Tapping my index finger playfully on his nose.

Derek turned ghost pale.

Trisha - who I might add, is incredibly stupid. Sorry, I mean, who sometimes is not all there, - went. "Oh, congratulations!" Jumping up and down. "How far along are you? Have you had a baby shower yet? Can I throw you one?"

Everyone stared at her.

At times like these you really can't help what you say to stuff like that. I mean, honestly.

"Uh, okay. If you want to throw your fiancé's baby's mama's shower, go for it." Rolling my eyes.

Her eyes turned blank and she turned to Derek, who had his face covering his face in disbelief. His face was tomato red. "I don't understand."

"There's not much to understand. We had sex. One of my eggs got fertilized. And, now I'm pregnant."

Edwin- who I just noticed filming this little fiasco- was laughing his butt off, talking about prime movie footage.

Derek-finally coming back to Earth- yelled. "Are you fucking serious? Are you joking me with this?"

"No." I was prepared for angry. "I wish I was."

"And you couldn't have told me, I don't know six months ago! You thought you'd just spring it on me?"

Okay, do keep in mind that I am six months pregnant, and very, VERY emotional. "Derek, I only found out about this _three_ months ago! Sorry you were off with you _fiancé _in Hawaii when I found out my period was extremely late."

"And in between the time we broke off our thing and that three months I was still here, you didn't have sex with ANYBODY!" He accused. Ouch!

I scoffed. "NO! Because unlike you I don't jump any and everyone."

"I don't jump everyone."

We were face to face now and he didn't scream that. He got really serious, and stared straight into my eyes.

"Exhibit A." I said, pointing to Trisha.

He didn't even flinch. "Don't bring Trish in this. If I jumped just anyone than how the hell did we work?"

"Um," Pointing to between the two of us. "We didn't."

"Well, what are we gonna do?" He continued staring at me. "What do you want _me_ to do?" Him being really serious was really freaky, and kind of refreshing. I didn't actually know if he could be serious. But, it made me feel uncomfortable. Did he forget all these people were in the room watching us? 'Cause I hadn't?

"Nothing." I breathed out. He was taking this way differently than how I thought. "I was just letting you know so that when some kid comes up to you calling you 'Daddy' you won't be confused." I smiled. My attempt at a joke- to relieve the tense-ness- crashed and burned when he replied with,

"So you're keeping it?" His eyebrows scrunched up. "We're going to be parents?"

I sucked in a huge breath of air. "He's not an _it_, Derek. He's a human being!"

Derek sucked in his cheeks. "That's what I meant, sorry. Uh, so it's a he?"

"Or a she." I placed my hands on my stomach. "I didn't know what I was going to do up until recently, so, I didn't let them tell me."

"So you're keeping it… I mean him?" The line appeared in the middle of his forehead when he got really stressed out, and I felt bad. Sort of, but not really. I've been stressed for months.

"Yeah, I am."

It was silent for a couple of minutes, as Derek took in all this overwhelming information.

"Wait," It was normal talking tone, but it sounded really loud since it was so quiet. We all turned to look at Trisha. "I don't get it. What just happened?"

I looked from her to Derek, and rolled my eyes. "_Really_, Derek? Her?" And waddled away. Because how can he be with someone so dumb, let alone want to _marry_ her. Oh, God. She's gonna be my kid's step-mom. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.


	2. If I, Really wanna go out tonight

**Chapter 2**

July 30, 2009: Later same day: Kitchen (where else?)

You, know? This whole diary thing – according to Paul, who I _still _call from time to time - is supposed to be alleviating my stress. But, all it's doing is helping me see my stress, thoroughly, on paper and making it even worse! Why, does the world hate me!?!

So, here's what happened a little bit after the big announcement.

I was in the kitchen – naturally- searching through the cabinets for my Lucky Charms; – I love the little marshmallow things, the cereal not so much, so the box is usually just filled with the cereal after I'm through with it. Why can't they just make a cereal with just the marshmallows? It's like everyone in the world is stupid except for me! - when I hear someone cough behind me. I turn on my intruder and see that it's Lizzie.

"Oh, hey Liz." I sigh. I was _not_ hoping it was someone else.

"Well, Trisha is just… _wonderful_." She laughs mumbling something about models.

"Isn't she?" I rolled my eyes and sighed again when the Lucky Charms were no where to be found. "Where are my Lucky Charms? Did I not say 'nobody touch my Lucky Charms'?" I said the last part really loud so that the people in the living room –Edwin- could hear me.

"Sorry, Case." Edwin yelled from the other room.

I huffed. But, then I noticed that Lizzie was still looking at me. And, not just looking at me, like searching for something. "What?" I backed away.

"Are you okay?" She put her hand on my arm.

This is why I hate talking to her. She can see right through me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I turned my back on her toward the cabinet to pretend to be looking for something else.

"So, Trisha being here, isn't bothering you?"

"Not more than it should." She narrowed her eyes at me and clicked her tongue.

"I think it is."

I blushed – luckily I wasn't facing her or she would've called me on it. "Um, Lizzie, you know that I don't like Derek anymore, right? I just happen to be having his child. Everything will be fine." My voice cracked a little at the end.

"But, it won't be. Will it?" What the hell am I supposed to do with _that_? I turned around. The best way to deal with a situation like this is none other than the ole' subject switcharooni.

"Liz, I'm moving. Soon." Her eyes became saucers.

"What? But, you're pregnant!" Once again, I would like to say, 'Thank you, Mr. Obvious!'. Her face was turning red. It looked like she was actually angry.

"Liz, I had to move out sometime. I'm 22." I laughed.

"Yeah, but who's going to help you with the…the baby, if you don't live here?" Her face was incredulous.

"I don't need help, Liz. I can do this on my own." I can. I don't need anyone, especially not Derek.

"Yes, you do." She pointed a finger in my face. "You're a 22 year-old, fresh out of college, non-married, pregnant lady. _You can't do this alone_." I really wish people would stop saying that.

Now, I was starting to get mad. Who does she think she was talking to? Does she not know me? When have I ever not been able to do something I set my mind to?

"I can do it, and I don't need anyone's help! Not you, not mom, not Derek! I'm capable of doing this."

"Casey-"

"Drop it! And don't bring this up around mom. I'll tell her on my own time." I snatched my keys off the counter and headed out the back way to my car. Stupid Edwin eating my damn Lucky Charms.

-oOo

Still July 30, 2009: Really late: Bedroom

I was sitting on my bed – Indian style - flipping through a fashion magazine, and eating from my new box of Lucky Charms, when Derek busted through the door. I looked up at him, waiting. But, he just stood there, in the middle of the floor, pointing at the door.

"Knock much?"

"I…I… I just heard from Lizzie that you're moving." He stuttered.

I'm gonna kill her! I sighed, and closed the magazine.

"Yeah, so?" I said as nonchalantly as I could.

And then, he said to me all in a –I'm greater than thou – tone. "And where _exactly_ are you planning on going?"

"The States. Well, New York, actually. I got into NYU for Law School." He was quiet, so I added. "And I got a job set up for me too, so I can pay for the baby's day care."

"You can't _move_!" Obviously, he had gotten his power of speech back enough to yell at me. "I live in Toronto."

"You can't tell me what to do!" I started to get up, but got tangled –Indian style sitting is not the best way to sit if you're pregnant, just a little heads up – Derek walked over to me, lifting me up – which let me tell you at 6 ½ months is a hard thing to do. Hockey must be paying off. – helping me off the bed. "Thanks." I muttered. "What was I saying?" I whispered a little light headed. He was really really close. This is the closest we've been in a really long time.

"You were saying I couldn't tell you what to do."

"Right." Yanking my arm away from him, suddenly angry again. "You can't tell me what to do!"

"Casey, we're having a baby." He looked at me like I was stupid. "How am I supposed to help if you don't live here?"

"No. I'm having a baby." I stared back at him.

He scoffed. "Casey, it takes two to tango, you know." To which, I am well aware.

"Look, the baby and I don't need you." I insisted. "I mean, your help."

"Casey," His face red, his hands clenched up into fists. "Are you telling me you don't want me in the kid's life? That I should just go away, and pretend I don't have a kid."

I shrugged. I didn't know. I hadn't thought my plan all the way through yet. "You're not my favorite person in the world, okay?" I don't know why I was being so mean lately, so don't ask.

He cringed. "Well, you're not my favorite either." Wow! We sounded like little kids. Little kids who were about to have their own little kid. Oh dear.

"Obviously. I mean, you didn't even wait a whole week before you got yourself engaged to some supermodel who's dumber than…. something that's really _really_ dumb- after we… ended." I spat jabbing my finger into his chest.

"Is that was this is about? Why you're moving away from me." He had grabbed my hand, so that I would stop stabbing him with my finger, and held my gaze.

"No." I demanded.

He stared at my eyes, while I tried to pull my hand free, but he wouldn't let me. "Case, -"

"Derek, please. Don't." My eyes started to water. "Don't." I added, as he started to say something again. I needed him out, now. "Besides, why would I want some skirt-chasing ass like you to be the father of my child?"

He dropped my hand, instantly, nodding his head. "Nice. Real nice." I could tell I had hurt his feelings. Big time. He strutted towards the door and then flashed around. "You know, I _really_ hope your child doesn't turn out to be the same pansy-ass _bitch_ like its mother." Ouch. That stung. Then, he left.

And I blinked back my tears, because that was what I wanted. So, I could not cry.

I could, and I was, going to do this alone.

Cue sad music: Preferably _All By Myself_ by Celine Dion.

My life sucks.

* * *

**Review.**


	3. Never used to go out without you

**Hey, so don't worry i'm not neglecting my other stories. This one is just a lot more fun to write. **

**So here you go **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek  
**

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August 7, 2009: Bedroom

These past couple days have been _total_ and _complete_ hell. I mean it.

I mean, Lizzie keeps sending me these glares, which I guess are supposed to "mean something".

Derek and his fiancé left last week to go stay at her old apartment. – Yeah, they're moving in together, soon, in Toronto, since of course, they're getting married. – We haven't talked since I basically called him a 'skirt chasing ass' and he called me a 'pansy-ass bitch'. In case you didn't know, those are fighting words.

And, I am getting closer to 7 months pregnant every day!

And you want to know the _absolute worst thing_? The _icing on the cake_?

I have yet to tell my mom that in roughly more than 2 months, I will be moving. Away. Away from her. To New York. She's gonna kill me.

But, you know me. I have plastered this amazingly fake smile on my face, and everyone thinks I'm okay. I think.

Okay, so I went downstairs looking for my purse –which was nowhere- when Derek – minus Trisha- walks through the door, like he freakin' owns the place. Well, let me tell ya buddy. _You don't_! You moved out remember!!

When he spots me searching all around the room, he freezes, and then shakes his head and mumbles. "Casey."

I looked up and smiled, and returned to my search. It's quiet for a good 5 seconds, until he clears his throat.

"Uh, what are you looking for?" I paused, again, looking up to him, and jumped back. Whoa, he had gotten way closer in the past 5 seconds. He was practically breathing down my neck.

"My purse." He nodded and plopped in his recliner, grabbing the remote. Obviously this news bored him.

He flipped through the channels. "Where are you going?"

Yes! Found it! Sweet success. Wait, didn't Derek say something. Oh, yeah. I responded absentmindedly, "Doctor's appointment." I went over by the door, to get my shoes. I attempted to bend down to grab them, but I could barely see over my monstrous belly. I kept reaching - hoping that somehow my arm would grow in length- when I feel a hand on my back, and another arm reaches down to grab them. "Thanks." I mumble. He just nods, staring into my eyes. I wonder if his girlfriend-my bad, fiancé knows he's doing this, mesmerizing people with his eyes. What a man whore.

He keeps staring at me and whispers, "Well, can I come?" I blinked for a couple seconds, forgetting what we had been talking about- This dude's eyelashes were mad long! - and then responded meekly,

"Why? It's not gonna be that interesting." He tightens his hold on me. "Even mom stopped coming."

"I would like to…. I mean, I want to go - with you." When I stared blankly at him, he added. "To see our child."

_That_ snapped me out of it.

"Derek, I told you you didn't have to do that. I don't need your pity." He drops his hold from me, and runs a hand through his hair. "I can do this on my own. You have your hockey, and your precious new _wife_, and I have my baby. So, everything's is peachy_. I'm_ peachy. I don't need you pretending like you care, just because you feel guilty for putting me in this situation. I'm giving you an out. _Take it_." I'm sure my face was beet-red, but oddly his was really calm.

"Casey," He says all calmly. "_Shut the hell up_, you're not doing this alone. I'm coming with you. Get in the car." He grabbed his keys out of his pocket, opened the door and left.

Wow, did I just lose the upper hand in this?

-oOo-

Still August 7, 2009: Waiting room

Ew. I'm sitting here next to Derek. With this huge belly, right? So people keep walking by saying 'Congratulations' like we're a freaking couple, or something. And every time I try to correct them on their obviously confused and delusional statement, Derek just leans over and rubs my belly and says,

"Yeah, we're _real _excited." In this creep-o, fatherly like way. It was disgusting. I kept slamming the heel of my foot against his toes, but he kept laughing like it was the funniest thing he ever said.

Reason number 1 why I didn't want him here.

I am currently glaring at him out of the corner of my eye, but I don't think he can see me. He actually looks genuinely excited. It made my mind quickly fantasize about how our lives could be. Our lives in a white house, with a picket fence, with blue shutters, and little Susie or Jonny riding her tricycle in the driveway. Derek coming home from a hockey ga – WHOA! What the hell was that!?! I am _not_ to go there. _Stupid_. To even think-

"CASEY!" I looked up at Derek, to see him standing, staring at me confused. "She called your name like 10 times already!" I blinked. Oh yeah, the doctor.

"Yeah, sorry. Thinking."

Derek laughed. "Well, try not to hurt yourself, princess."

oOo

August 7, 2009: Derek's car

That had to be the most AWKWARD thing I have ever done. Okay, maybe not the most, but definitely top 10, or 20. Whatever, it was just really really awkward.

Especially the part where like my entire stomach was uncovered and she rubbed that cold crap on me-thinking about it makes me shudder.

And then the GYN – Nancy- was all smiling at Derek, "And this, is your _baby_." She squealed on the word baby, in like a cooing-gross way.

And Derek was all grinning, like this was the happiest day in his life. He even whispered in my ear, when she had her back turned, "Totally a boy. Just think, you have a little Derek jr. in you right now." Which sounded totally dirty, so I punched his chest -which hurt, OW! How much does he work out?- but, he just stood there grinning.

I was completely un-fooled.

And then Derek went to go – as he said- 'drain the lizard' and said he'd be right back. And then Nancy was all, "I didn't know the _father_ of your baby was _Derek Venturi_." I just nodded and then she said, trying to act all nonchalant about it, "You guys aren't together anymore right?"

Like I really needed my _gynecologist_ flirting with my baby's daddy right now. So I said- pretty meanly not gonna lie or anything-, "Does that have _anything _to do with the health of my baby?"

She looked totally embarrassed, and then started writing on her little clipboard thingy.

It was then I knew it totally wasn't a secret anymore that Derek was my child's father. God! It would be all over the magazines in a couple months.

Derek came back from his "lizard draining" so we left.

The trip back home was really quiet, and Derek kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I had tried ignoring it, but it wasn't working.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you bring that thing with you everywhere?" He was referring to my diary.

"As of recently. I needed a new way to vent, so I don't just vent on innocent people, when they don't deserve it."

He smirked, "Like me?"

"NO!" I rolled my eyes. "Like people who actually care about me."

He got all serious and went, "I care about you."

I sighed, "Not enough." And then, I wanted to KILL myself, because why the HELL did I just say that out loud.

"Casey," I rolled my eyes up to the back of my eyelids. "I have Trisha now. I'm sorry, I just… I don't feel that way about you anymore."

I quickly added, "Right! And neither do I! It's not like we ever _loved_ each other or anything." I scoffed. "'Cause that would have just been a mess!" I laughed nervously.

Derek stopped at the red light and looked over at me. "Yeah. A mess."

He didn't look completely like he bought it, so I added, "It's a good thing we're friends, it's better for the baby that way."

He laughed, "Definitely."

The light turned green so he sped off, but not before ruffling my hair in a very friendly like manner. I know I tend to end a lot of entries like this, but it is so _so_ true.

My life sucks.

oOo

August 10, 2009: Living Room

So, I was sitting here, right? Just watching TV, minding my own freaking business. When Lizzie walks over and is like, "Okay, you're gonna tell her, or I am."

And really, I had no freaking idea what she was talking about, and I was really _really_ tired, and my feet _really_ hurt from walking around all day, and I just _really_ wanted to watch _Smallville_ alone and in peace, so maybe I said all tiredly, "Sure, Liz. Do whatever you want."

Next thing I freaking know is, my mom is stomping up the stairs and into the Living Room really loudly, and screams. "CASSANDRA MCDONALD! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?"

And here I am, still confused, my hands resting on my stomach, and I'm all like, "Mom, calm down. You're gonna send me into premature labor. What are you talking about it?" Because really this isn't that un-normal. Things like this happen all the time.

"You're moving to NEW YORK! In a couple of months! And you weren't gonna tell me?"

And then my eyes scanned the room to find Lizzie cowering by the stairs, and my eyes shot daggers at her- I hope.

"Sorry, mom. I didn't know when the best time would be to tell you." She just stands there with her hands on her hips. "I've got a job lined up and everything. I don't…" I shook my head. "I'm being responsible."

"Casey, this isn't responsible. You're gonna be out there alone. With a baby. That's the furthest thing from responsible!"

I yelled back, "That's not true! Dad lives there!" She tilts her head to the side and glares at me. Okay, so maybe that was a bad rebuttal.

"I mean, have you even considered how Derek would feel about this? He is the father you know?" At this point she's wailing her arms around while she's speaking. She looks like a freaking psycho.

"Derek knows." I insist.

"Derek knows?" She mimics. "Well, does Derek know that you also got into the University of Toronto? Full ride scholarship?" I narrow my eyes, completely pissed.

"No. But, I don't have a job there."

My mom continues, even though I swear she hears the door open –Derek and Trisha – just walked in- hand in hand might I add. "Derek has a job there; he can take care of you." Trisha's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.-She may be incredibly stupid, but, when it comes to men-her supermodel powers jump in. And I could tell the thought of Derek taking care of anyone but her, had her steaming from the ears.

I felt my face get really hot, and gritted my teeth. "I don't need _Derek_ to take care of me, _mother_. I can take care of myself. I have a job lined up for me in New York!" Except since I said all this through my teeth, it was barely audible. But, they all heard me.

She had her mom voice on now. She didn't use it much. "Casey, I'm _sure _you can get a job in _Ontario_."

I glared back at her. Of course, I could find a job somewhere here. I just didn't want to.

"And if you couldn't, I'm gonna be a free agent in a year; I could try out for the Rangers." Our heads whipped to Derek, who-first of all- was NOT in this conversation. And second of all- WHAT!

I apparently said that last part out loud. As did my mom. And Trisha.

He looked at Trisha, "Well, come on, Trisha. You're a model. New York is like your capital." She considered this, but she still looked insanely suspicious.

"Derek, you're NOT moving to New York with us." At the same time my mom said. "You guys are NOT moving away from me."

"Look, Casey. Nora. I'm gonna be a father soon and a husband, as much as the thought of growing up kills me, I'm not gonna shy away from my responsibilities."

"You could try." I mumbled, folding my arms over my stomach.

Derek glared at me. And so did Trisha, although I'm pretty sure she didn't mind as much as she was "pretending".

"Everything is gonna be fine, Case. Our kid doesn't have to live without a dad. I'm gonna take care of you."

I smiled, because for a second, I almost believed him. Until I remembered his hand was still connected with Trisha by the doorway.

My mom looked from me to Derek and then back to me, and let out a huge huff. And then walked up to Derek, poking him in the chest. "This is all _your_ fault. I'm holding you _personally_ responsible." She stomped away. He rubbed at his chest, in pain.

I attempted to get up from the couch, and Derek came over to help me, but Trisha grabbed his arm. "What are you _doing_?"He looked back at her, sending her some kind of message with his eyes, but she just stared back at him like he had just been caught flirting with another girl.

By this time I was already up; I walked over to the stairs, turned my head and said. "You're NOT moving to New York with me."

Derek just smirked and said, "We'll see."

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Review

Laura :P


	4. Not sure I remember how to

**Me and My updating skillz suck. We know. And we're sorry.**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Life With Derek and if any of the books I happened to just make up off the top of my head are real I truly apologize and I don't own them either.

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**Chapter 4**

September, 15, 2009: Kitchen: Reminiscing

So, basically, for the past six weeks, I have been cleverly ducking any talk of my moving to New York. My plan is that the less we talk about it the more chance they'll just all together forget about it. My plan – as usual lately – failed. Miserably.

My mom turned the WHOLE entire women population of the household against me. – which pretty much only included Marti, since Lizzie was already pissed at me. – She felt the need to bring it up in any conversation, "subtly". Even ones that had NOTHING do with that. Nothing. Like,

George would say, "Casey, could you pass me the salt?"

And Nora would mutter, "I don't think she heard you, George. New York being so far away and all."

Or,

I'd say. "Jee-zus, Edwin! Turn that mess OFF!"

And from out of nowhere you'd hear her yell. "Don't listen to her, Edwin. She's a Yankee now. They think they're better than _everyone_!"

Like… what the hell?

And Derek. He didn't bring up New York, really. He was just so damn annoying all the time. Trying to always be there for me. Going to doctor's appointments, rushing out to get my midnight cravings – called him to do it, but didn't actually think he would – and always defending me against the crap family I had - who continuously made fun of me and my eating habits. HELLO? Have they not heard of the phrase "eating for two"? I mean, jeez.

And it helped ZERO that I –well, we – were on the cover of some magazine the other day. What a scandal! Derek's engaged and having a baby by someone else. The horror!

But, we're definitely understanding each other more. Especially after last month. When we had this HUGE fight.

*&*

"Casey, we need to talk."

I looked up at him over my plate of pickles and eggs a little creation I like to call Peggs – yeah, don't ask- and raised an eyebrow. And with my mouth full I said, "Yuh."

"We need to talk about our baby." I winced at the word "our".

I swallowed, defensively. "What about him?"

"Well, not so much the baby, as," He came around the counter and sat next to me. "what our plans are… for the baby."

"Well," I coughed, pointing to myself. "_My_ plans include-"

He slammed his hand down on the counter, making me jump. "Would you stop that!" He grabs my shoulders. "I know, Casey. I know you're independent. I _know_! But, this is something you don't have to deal with on your own. This is something I don't want you to _have_ to deal with on your own. And yes, I am going to have another family in a couple months, and I know you're pissed about how I ended things, but damn, Casey, stop making it so hard to be there for you. I want to be there for you. Let me be there for you." He drops his hold on me. "Because Casey, I _know_ you know how bad it sucks to live without a dad. So, stop taking this – what should be amazing and momentous, I hear – moment away from me. If we're going to do this, let's do it."

I stare at him – a little shaken up – and push my plate away, crossing my arms.

"Casey," He sighs. "I know you probably think I'm just a really irresponsible jerk who can't take care of himself, let alone some kid. But, give me a chance. Let me prove to you what I can be."

I bit my lip, staring at the ceiling, because tears were forming themselves in my eyes. I kept blinking, but it only got worse, as a few slid down my face.

And then his hands were on my knees. "Case, look at me, wouldja." When I didn't he added. "Fine. You pushing me around ends tonight, though. You're not moving to New York. You're not going to NYU. And you can kiss you're little half-ass job there goodbye."

This made my eyes find his. Ex-_cuse_ me!?!

"You will however, be moving to Toronto. Nora says you got a scholarship at the U, so I don't even want to hear it. It's the best choice right now for our baby to have both of his parents around, so. I'm not being bossy. I'm just telling you how it is."

Wow.

"Are you kidding me?"

He lifts his hands up. "She speaks!"

"You cannot tell me what to do." But, even as I said this I knew what was happening. It was the Derek curse. What you've never heard of it? Seen it in action? Well, have you ever heard the phrase, "What Derek wants, Derek gets"? Well, yeah. That's not just some cute little poem. It's like, the law. "I can promise you, Derek, that I will strongly consider this. Consider. But, I cannot promise you anything else." I got up from my seat and placed my plate in the sink. "If New York is the best place for me and the baby, that's where I'll be."

"It's not." He sounded so sure. So confident. It was completely disgusting.

"We'll see." I turned to walk out of the kitchen, but not before I added. "Derek,"

He looked up at me, waiting.

"I swear, Derek. I can, maybe, handle rejection almost okay now. I'm used to it, by now. But, I _swear_, if you reject my baby…" And I let the threat hang in the air. He understood, as I expected him to.

*&*

And then, suddenly we were back to being the best friends we were before we started dating.

*&*

So, against my better judgment, I went down to Derek and Trisha's apartment. During daytime. Just incase Trisha was there and she wanted to kill me or something.

Okay, so, I rang the doorbell, and for like 2 minutes no one answered. But, I had NOT traveled all of 7 miles to get here and no one answer, so I turned the knob and it was open.

I peaked through. "Hello?" No answer. I stepped through the threshold. "Anybody here?"

I closed the door behind me and looked around. There were pictures everywhere. Most of them of Trisha. And some… well, the word "trashy" comes to mind. So, me being entirely curious, decide to look around. I mean, truly, they were asking for it. Leaving their door unlocked the way they had.

So, I'm looking at all the pictures on the wall. One particularly of Derek and her, after a hockey game at Queen's. I'm guessing they won since he's holding up this trophy screaming, and she's kissing his cheek. Aw, sweet memories. Not.

"What are you doing here?"

I swear, no lie, my heart stopped. No, two hearts stopped. I almost died. He scared the frickin' bologna out of me. I placed my hand on my heart, after screaming bloody murder – in which Derek told me to calm the hell down, because they had neighbors – and breathed in and out. After I was sufficiently calmed down, I punched Derek in the arm.

He backed away. "What the hell?"

"Exactly." I frowned. "Don't sneak up on pregnant women like that. Sheesh!"

"Right," He rolled his eyes. "I"ll stop sneaking up on pregnant women when you stop breaking into people's homes."

I froze. "I wasn't breaking in. The door was open." I pointed to the door.

He stared at me, so I stared back.

This went on for like two minutes until he was like, "Well, what are you here for?"

"Oh, right." I reached in my bag and pulled out a book. "You said if we were gonna do this, we were going to do this, right? So, let's do it. There's a lot to be done."

I walked over to their sofa and sat down. He looked after me confused. "I… am so confused right now."

I laughed. I held up my book. And then another. And then another.

He came over and sat down. Picking them up, consecutively. "300 Baby Names, 2008 edition. Parenting 101. Baby's Nursery: It's Not Just a Room, It's a Life. The Mastery of Parenting. Addressing Your Teen. Baby's First Year." He stopped. He looked up at me with this huge Cheshire cat grin slapped on his face.

"We're gonna do this?" He looked so happy, so excited that I couldn't help smiling back.

"I brought the books, didn't I?" He nodded and then grabbed one of them.

"Addressing your teen?" He gave me a look. "The baby's not even born yet."

"He'll be a bratty 15 year-old before you know it." He laughed, and I joined in. And let the moment happen –for once – without over analyzing.

"So, baby names." I picked up that book. "Most important as of now. We have a month."

He nodded, skimming through the Addressing Your Teen book. "I am almost positive it won't take that long."

I scoffed at him. How cute! He was so naiive.

"I was thinking pretty, but exotic, you know? Like Ava or Savannah for a girl or Landon if it's a boy." I was flipping through the pages unaware that he was looking at me, until I looked up. "What? You don't like it?"

"Landon?" I nodded. "Isn't that the name of the dude from that movie you _always_ cry during but watch it over and over again anyway?"

I blush. I tried not to, but I have no control over my body anymore. "Yes."

"Then, no."

"Der-ek!"

"No." His eyes return to his book. "Next."

I sigh; this was going to take a while.

20 minutes later…

"Derek, no. Abso-freaking-lutely not! You have lost your entire mind."

"Casey, please, you wanted to name our baby Nevaeh!"

"It's pretty, it's unique, it's –"

"Heaven, spelled backwards. Which is just stupid."

I place a hand on my chest. "Stupid?"

"Stupid." He decides, folding his arms.

I am now flapping my hands all over the place. "You are just… so ridiculous. Nevaeh is like 7 times better than _Brooklyn_."

He looked incredulous. "Seven!"

"Probably more." I said indignantly.

"You know what?" He took the book from me. "Clearly you are to hormonal to deal with a situation such as this. So, I'll just take this."

"What are you doing?" Tugging the book from his grasp with no success. "Stop!"

"Okay, Casey, this is the child's name. The name he will have for like… ever. And that's a really long time to be stuck with a crappy name."

I tug, lowering my eyebrows and my voice. "Are you hinting that my name is crappy?"

"No," He tugs back. "not hinting. Telling."

I gasp, and then somehow this turns into a whole tug-of-war-back-in-the-ole'-days-fight – except not as much wrestling because, well, I'm pregnant.

So, by the time Trisha just so happens to walk in, I am on top of Derek, beating him senseless with the book – that I had just so happened to wretch free from him.

I didn't notice her at first, not until she cleared her throat and said, "Casey? Derek?"

We both freeze and then slowly – with the book – I peel myself off of him, and sit back down in my seat. Derek looks at Trisha, sort of guilty and says, "She's very violent."

"Me?" I turn to Trisha. "He wants to name the baby Brooklyn!" When everyone just stares at her she repeats. "Brooklyn!"

Trisha sets down her purse on a chair, clearly she isn't completely happy about Derek having a child that's not hers. "Well, Brooklyn is a very unique name."

Derek smiled, I shoved him. "Too unique."

"Unique _is_ in now." Trisha adds her two cents. I glare at her.

"Well, maybe in supermodel land, Trisha, but not in the real world." Dang it! I really didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Don't listen to her." Derek got up and walked over to her, kissing her cheek. "She's very uptight – read: emotional – about this whole baby naming process. We've been at it for twenty minutes."

"I am NOT emotional." I turned my head away from the happy couple. I think he was welcoming her home, and I did not want to see that. In fact, I may throw up if I keep talking about it. So, let's stop. Now. Okay.

"Well," Trisha is suddenly next to Casey on the sofa. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know." Derek said from somewhere behind us. "She doesn't know if she wants to know yet. So, she wouldn't let them tell me either."

"I could never do that." She laid her French manicured hand on mine. "I would just _die_ with the suspense, and stuff. And I wouldn't know what color to paint the nursery."

**Note to self**: Do everything in power to make sure Trisha doesn't know the sex of her baby when pregnant.

"Yeah, well, I'm thinking I only have a month left, so."

"A month!" Trisha shrieked. "That's it?"

I nodded. Wasn't it kind of obvious? I looked like I was ready to pop. Derek came back holding three sodas. He held one out to Trisha – diet coke – she took it, and then he offered me one and I declined.

"What? No caffeine?"

"Caffeine isn't the best for the baby." I reminded. He actually looked embarrassed by this.

"Oh, right, well, you want some water?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Derek, God! Could you refrain from acting so different around me now? I'm just pregnant! I'm not dieing!"

He paused. Trisha looked up at him. "Sorry. Just trying to be sensitive."

"Well, stop it. It's annoying. If anything I need annoying skirt-chasing ass Derek right now, not understanding-kind-mature Derek, okay?"

Trisha scrunched her face up at the name, but Derek smirked. And then suddenly there was a wet finger being gouged in my ear.

I screamed. "Der-ek!"

He laughed. "That good enough for you?"

I rubbed at my ear. Okay, maybe telling him that was a bad idea. Why did I miss this exactly? "Oh, we are _definitely_ not naming the baby Brooklyn, now."

* * *

**So, review. And the chapter will come faster. The story's finally starting to move along.**


	5. Gonna be late, Gonna be late

**I know. This was major quick. But, i'm on break. Nothing to do at 3 in the morning, so... Here ya go. Please Review, i want to hear what you think. **

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**Chapter 5**

October 10, 2009: Bedroom (Well, what used to be my bedroom, anyway)

So, yeah. I definitely have a week – more or less, hopefully more – 'till the baby arrives, then a week after the baby's born I'm moving to Toronto – don't say it. I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it, too – and then I'm on the express train to crazy town. As if my life wasn't complicated enough.

I still don't have a job in Toronto, but – being the smart and meticulous woman that I am, I do have _some_ money saved up in my account. But, not enough to live off of for more than like 4 months.

And, apparently, I've been over-hormonal lately. But, seriously… I'm almost 9 months pregnant. What do you expect when you call me Juno behind my back? What? You thought I didn't notice? Really?

"What are you doing?"

I look up and Lizzie is sauntering over to my bed and plopping down next to me, making me topple a little. "Whoa there, Liz."

"Sorry." She inches closer and peeks at my laptop. "What's this?"

"It's so cool. Look, check this out." I lean over – the best I can with this huge continent in my way – and start pressing random buttons until the background of the picture on the screen turns pink. "It's to help me pick out a color for the baby's room. This is the actual room, and how I somewhat, mostly, want to decorate it. So, I just pick a color and it paints the room. So, I can get a visual, you know."

Lizzie stares at it, nodding her head. "Technology these days. Just can't keep up."

I laugh. "I know. But, completely convenient."

We sit at the laptop looking over different colors for the room, and reorganizing the baby's accessories, for a good half hour.

Lizzie pushes my hand away from the mouse. "Okay, so I'm liking the whole blue idea. No matter _what_ anyone says, yellow is not neutral. It's just not! I know tons of girls and boys with blue rooms, so."

I nodded, completely agreeing.

"Plus, the paint comes with this totally sweet brochure that'll teach you how to keep your bedroom eco-friendly."

I'm beginning to think that has more to do with her choice than the actual color.

"How can your room be eco-friendly? What can possibly be in your room to make it un-eco-friendly?"

Lizzie's face turns into this serious-presentation mode and pulls her hair back behind her ears. "Well, there's-"

"You know what Liz," I held up a hand to her. "On second thought, tell me later."

She looks almost as if she doesn't believe me, so I quickly think up something to change the subject.

"So," I clear my throat. "I'm leavin' to buy the paint now. I'm want to have the room painted by the end of today."

She looks at me incredulously and prints the page we were looking at on the laptop. "Today?"

"Yes, well, Liz. We're running out of time. I could have this baby any day now." I am not joking.

"No kidding. You look like you're ready to explode."

My eyes widen. "Why?" I – not without effort – get off the bed to rush to the mirror on my nightstand. "Is my face getting fat? Oh, no. My nose is swollen. And LOOK at my hands! I'm going to have to go on a major crash diet as soon as I have this baby?"

Lizzie turned me around and grabbed my face in her hands. "No, crash diets are actually worse for your body. Because if you eat one thing, one teeny-tiny thing, you're body's gonna store that since it doesn't know the next time it's going to eat. And you know what happens to that stored food?" She stares at me like I'm supposed to answer.

I puff out air through my nose. She was talking to me like I was 4. Hello! I'm the eldest here. "You become skinnier?"

"NO! It becomes fat! So, really you're not helping yourself at all." I roll my eyes at her, because really. She has the most random facts stored in her head. When would you even need to know that? Never. You will never be asked while taking the Bar what happens when you crash diet. I can almost guarantee it.

"You comin' or what?"

She lets go of my face. "Sorry. Can't."

"Ugh!" I stick my tongue out at her. "You don't seriously expect me – a pregnant lady – to paint a room, by herself do you?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes, and headed toward the door. "You'll survive."

I gasped. They were so inconsiderate. Like the fumes from the paint, are probably really bad for the baby, too. Although I never read that, it's probably true.

"Go ask Edwin."

Oh, Edwin! I forgot about him. Sucker owes me a favor.

*&*

Still October 10, 2009: Car: Needed a Breather

So, I stopped by the hardware store, picked up the paint, and dropped back home to bribe Edwin into helping me.

Only this plan was seriously flawed by the fact that he had his girlfriend in his room – a rule I'm pretty sure he was breaking – they were playing video games.

I knocked and entered when he grunted.

"Edwin." I looked over at Sasha. "Sasha." Neither Edwin nor Sasha looked up when I entered the room, they just continued playing whatever video game was the rage as of today. I cleared my throat. Still, nothing.

Clearly, I was going to have to try another tactic.

"OH, MY GOD, EDWIN! I think I'm going into labor! AH!" This time Sasha _and_ Edwin's eyes shot up to mine. "The baby's coming! It's time!"

He got up and started pacing, looking around for God knows what. "Omigod, omigod. Oh, I'll call Nora."

I took off my screaming face and grabbed his arm as he started to run out the door. "Chills, Ed. I lied. I need your help on something."

It took him like 5 minutes to come down from whichever planet he was on. "Seriously?" And then he shot his eyes over at Sasha. "See! See what I was forced to live with!" Sasha, I have to admit, looked pretty freaked out as well. "_This_, this is why we call you names."

"Edwin, focus, stop being such a spaz. I need you to help me paint my apartment."

He went back to the computer, grabbed his controller, and yawned. "Sure. When?"

"Today."

He made a face, eyes still not on me. "Today? In Toronto? No way, Josè!"

I stomped my foot. "But, Edwin! I'm 9 months pregnant."

"No," He starts calmly. "You're 8 and ¾ months pregnant."

My family is impossible. Don't they realize that pregnant women have bad backs? They _are_ carrying another human being, incase you wanted to know. Am I seriously going to have to paint this room by myself?

"Ugh, you suck."

Edwin waves his hand. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I haven't heard _that_ one before."

And I don't know why. I really don't. But, I'm going to blame it – once again – on my hormones. I started _crying_. Crying! Like I was a frickin' 6 year old. And not just any crying, no. Not that fake-please-help-me cry, either. Nope! It was full-fledged sobbing. And I couldn't contain it. I was like a waterfall. In front of Sasha, too! It was embarrassing.

"Um," He's – awkwardly - patting my back. "I'm sorry, Casey. I would. You know I would. Just not today. Maybe tomorrow or something. I've got school tomorrow and I have to finish my homework. You just… you kinda just picked a really bad time to be pregnant, you know?"

I did know. And that only made me cry even harder. I pressed my face into his chest, grabbed at his T-shirt, and just balled my eyes out. About what? I could not tell you. I _can, _however, tell Edwin's moving his arms above my head, but I don't care enough to look up and see for what.

But, the next thing I know, Sasha is coming back into the room/attic thingy trailed by none other than Derek.

He looks at me and stiffens. "WHOA! I don't do tears. Ever. You got this one, Ed."

"Uh-uh. Dude, she's your problem." Edwin says.

Derek – who is slowly, moving out of the room – goes. "Yeah, well, I will give you a hundred bucks, if you handle this without my help. 100 bucks."

It's silent for a moment, like Edwin is actually considering this. Like I'm a freaking hot-potato they can just pawn off! If I wasn't crying so hard, I'd be seriously offended.

"Eh, tempting," He's probably thinking about all the times Derek stole money from him. "But, I'm gonna pass." He peels me off his shirt and pushes me towards Derek. I stand in front of him for a while, until he finally asks,

"What's wrong?"

And then, I did that whole thing where you try to talk while you're crying and it comes out in pieces or just not at all. And you have to strain to hear what the person's saying. Yeah, that.

"N-n-no one… he-hu-he… k-k-cares…about…about me." I take three huge breaths. "I-I-I… I'm a-a-all a… a… alone!" And then I'm like freaking waterworks. And I can just feel everyone staring at me. – Sasha probably thinking she's never coming over here again. –

And then I hear. "That's not true, Casey."

I look up at him. "Y-y-yes, it is."

From behind me, I hear. "Dude, you understood that?"

And then, I'm being pulled out of the attic, down the stairs, and into the hallway, next to his old room.

"Casey," I don't answer. "Casey, stop crying." But, of course I didn't.

So, he pulls me all the way into his room, on his bed, and he sits next to me. He waits for a few seconds and then goes. "What is this really about?"

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Casey," He starts using that scolding tone – that really is so hott, but, you know not in the good way. Ahem. "you know why you're crying."

I shake my head, and fall against his chest crying. I wrap my arms around him. I feel him stiffen under me.

"Well, you have five minutes to come up with a decent answer, 'cause I'm already breaking more of my own rules than I can count."

"Derek," I say in a really small voice. "I don't think I'm ready for this. To be a mother. I'm not ready."

He sucks in, hollowing his cheeks. "Well, you just have to be, Casey. Kid's not gonna stay in there forever."

I unwrap one hand and wipe at my face, so I can look up at him. "B-b-but, we're so dysfunctional. Extremely dysfunctional. Look at us. We hate each other. And we're having a baby. We're step-siblings. And we're having a baby. You're getting married. To another woman! And we're having a baby. I just… I don't think that I can do this."

I really hated him seeing me like this. All vulnerable, in my time of weakness. I'm supposed to be the strong, independent one, I think.

"Yeah, well. I think that's what will make us great parents, Case." He takes one of his hands and wipes at my face. "I mean, look at our parents."

I laugh and then sigh. Our parents are terrible.

"You think I'll be a good mom, Derek?" He doesn't answer for a while, so I tense up, and I think he felt it, because slowly, he wraps his arms around me, too.

"This coming from the girl who has already read the Addressing Your Teen manual? Psh, I think you're covered." I lay my head back on his chest, and we sit like this for a while. And it's nice. Because I haven't felt this safe, this comforted in a long time.

And then, "Ow!" Derek's head jerks up, "What?"

"Oh, owwie!" He looks at me with alarm.

"What? What happened?" He slowly takes his arms from around me, so I quickly grab one of his hands and press it against my stomach. It's silent for a moment, but then it happens again.

The baby kicks.

Derek's eyes brighten. "Holy shit!" He exclaims. "He's moving!"

I laugh at his excitement. "Yeah, he does that whenever I get nervous. Like he can sense it, or something."

But, I'm not sure Derek heard that since he was staring at my stomach, doe-eyes and all. And then, he looked up and our gazes locked.

I place my hand on top of his – the one on my stomach – and go. "I think you'll make a great dad, too, Derek."

He smiles at me. An actual Derek Venturi smile. I almost started crying again, except I didn't get a chance to, because somehow my lips were on his. A slow, but increasingly familiar beautiful kiss.

I could not tell you who started the kiss, because honestly I don't know. But, I can tell you who ended it. What you can't guess? One word: Trisha.

* * *

**Okay, Please review.**


	6. All my girls gon' have to wait

**Sorrry, Finals. **

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews by the way. Especially the ones that made me think, and challenge myself :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek  
**

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**Chapter 6**

Still October 10, 2009: Still Car

Oh. My. God.

And before you freak out, diary, let me just skip to the story.

So, there we were, lost in our own little world of Make Out Town, when suddenly out of freaking nowhere there's a soft knock on the door, and Trisha calling Derek from the other side. –I know. You're probably all really disappointed, right? I mean, Trisha didn't even barge in, like all those other amazing romance novels, as if to force our issues. Geez. I mean, life sucks. Looks as if I'm gonna have to force them for us - We sprung apart so fast – well, Derek, sprung away really fast. I was left looking bewildered on the bed, and he was way on the other side of the room.

Trisha knocked again. "Der? You in there?"

Derek was looking everywhere, but at me. His face had turned really red. He grunted out, "Uh, yeah. Just come in."

Trisha opens the door and walks into the room. And even Trisha could feel the tension, dripping off the ceilings and the walls.

"What's, uh… going on?"

Derek – suddenly - seems to gather his bearings and straightens up, walks over to her, and says. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, nothing worth repeating, anyway."

And my heart stopped beating.

Because that sentence, that _word_, definitely had two meanings. It felt – to me - like he was telling me that that whole thing was a mistake, an absence of conscience, a royal slip up. And most importantly Not. Worth. Repeating.

She smiles up at him and grabs his hand. "M'kay. Um, have you seen the keys? I've been looking for them everywhere."

"Yeah, they're hanging off your keychain… which is on your belt buckle." He yanks at it.

"Oh," She laughs at herself, making a silly face. "duh."

He smiles back at her, almost as if to placate her.

A relationship isn't built off placating. I should know. I used to do it all the time.

And during this whole thing, my heart is still breaking.

"Well, I'mma be in the car. Hurry up, kay?" She leans up and pecks his cheek and I – finally – look away. Because obviously I am not one of those masochistic types.

"Yeah, be right there." I hear him say all softly. I just slowly swing my legs up onto the bed and rest my head on my knees. I listen for the soft padding of feet leaving the room, and when I hear it, decide to finally let out the breath I've been holding.

I look up and Derek's standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground. "Casey,"

"No," I sigh. "Derek-"

"Don't," He interrupts, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Just don't."

"Derek, we have to talk about it."

He rolls his eyes. "No, Casey, _you_ have to talk about it. _We_, however, are done with this conversation."

I straighten out my knees. "Derek, this happened. It's serious. I mean, you're engaged, and stuff."

He stiffens and demands. "Casey, this did _not_ happen, okay? It never happened."

My jaw clenches and I somehow stammer out, "Right. And if it did, it's 'not worth repeating', right?"

His head jerks up, finally looking at me. I'm sure my skin flushed. "Right." He agrees – totally missing my tone, but maybe that was on purpose.

I give in. "Derek, it happened."

"No, Case, it really didn't." He's shaking his head now, almost like he's trying to convince himself. And, suddenly, it's getting really hard for me to believe it happened, too. Damn, he's good.

I –seriously – want to pull his hair out. "You kissed me."

"What?" He looks at me like I'm insane. "I did NOT kiss you."

"Okay," I begin rubbing at my chest, because this whole conversation is giving me heartburn. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's what's happening. "So, I kissed you."

"No, Casey," He scoffs annoyed. "No you didn't."

He is SO annoying.

"DER-EK!" Because see, _now_, I'm fed up. _Now_, I'm pissed. _Now_, I'm about to get bitchy. "It doesn't matter who started it! Somebody kissed somebody, and now we have to deal with this situation."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure we do."

"Trust me," I laugh sarcastically. "We do."

"Casey-"

"Derek, we left our last relationship un-ended with lots of un-answered questions. And I was always confused as to whether we were even still in a relationship – if you can even call it that. And then I finally get the memo when you're off in frickin' Hawaii with your new girlfriend, and I'm stuck –alone – in a frickin' bathroom stall at Timmy's with a frickin' pregnancy test in my hand. So forgive me when I say, we are NOT doing that again."

"Um,"

There was an awkward pregnant pause, until Derek just smirked at me. And I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I am NOT bitter." I said indignantly.

"Yeah," He laughs. "You're - you're a little bitter."

I chuck the nearest pillow next to me at his head – but, damn his hockey playing skill reflexes.

He laughs, but then is totally serious. "I'm engaged, remember? I can't just go around kissing people."

I crossed my arms against my chest. "Never bothered you before."

He bites his lip. "Maybe I've changed."

I look him straight in the eye. "Bull." I get up off the bed, cross the room, and grab his face. "What are you trying to prove? And to whom?"

"Case-"

"WHAT. ARE YOU TRYING. TO _PROVE_?!?" I scream, squeezing his face between my hands.

"Nothing, Casey, God," He pulls out of my grasp and walks toward the door. "I can do this, you know. I can be a good husband, and a good father. I'm not completely worthless."

I throw my hands up, almost in tears. "Who said you were?"

"You did!" He yells exasperated. He looks almost as if HE was going to cry, his hands digging into his scalp as he paces in front of the door. "I heard you talking that night. Okay? I heard you on the phone with whoever, talking about how I was just some fling and that it could never get too serious because I wasn't cut out for that kind of thing. I heard you, okay? And I get it. I mean, who would want some lazy-ass, pro-hockey playing, earth pig to be with them forever. Not you. And I get it."

I froze. Oh, my God!

"Why the hell else did you think I left anyway? I mean, it bothered me for a while. But, it doesn't anymore."

"Derek," I said taking a step toward him.

"But, I've changed. I have. And I'm trying really hard to be that kind of a guy. Because I have Trisha now."

Why was he always saying that? To rub it in? To laugh at how boyfriend-less I was?

"I mean, we're friends again. And that's good, because… I think that's our safest bet."

He looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something.

"So," I clear my throat. "What do we do now?"

"Well, could we _please_ pretend like that kiss never happened? For me? Because I can be the faithful husband. I know I can. Can we _please_ pretend that kiss never happened?"

He stares at me – with those puppy dog eyes, and, well, he always gets what he wants.

So, I wipe my eyes, and cough out the only thing I really could say. "What kiss?"

He smirks and steps halfway out the door, but not before muttering out a, "Thanks, Case, really."

And then, he leaves.

Holy frickin' jam on toast!

**

October 19, 2009: New Apartment

So, basically, things have just gone back to normal since that whole kiss incident. I mean, basically we kind of forced things to go back to normal. Especially, since the baby is due any day.

It's just been crazy hectic.

I mean, especially those two days when I finally realized that there was no way that I would be able to do college right now and haggle a baby. Just none. I was PUTTING OFF College! I know! Me! Casey McDonald!

But, I had to organize my priorities, and this would maybe just have to be put off for at least a year. I cried for three days straight. Everyone was so freaked out, especially Mom and Derek.

For instance, when everyone – save for Trisha, that _bitch_, - came over – unexpectedly, I may add, because I was definitely planning to do the whole self-pitying thing by myself – and found me in a corner of the kitchen crying my eyes out, and hugging my –now un-necessary – school books to my chest.

"Casey," Lizzie came running over. "What the hell happened?"

I tried wiping my face, and getting all composed, but then the thought of their disappointment of me made me start crying even harder. Even hysterically.

"Mom!" Lizzie called out. "Get over here! Casey's hurt."

And then, suddenly, everyone was cowering over me. And barking out what was wrong. And I couldn't speak, because I tried that once while I was crying and I started hyperventilating. Not good, let me tell you. Everyone was talking at once, except for Derek.

Derek just pushes through the crowd, takes my school books out of my hands, and pulls me up on my feet. Then, as if there wasn't anybody else here, he leads me to my laundry room, and shuts the door.

He takes one look at me. And I burst into a new set of tears.

He leans against the washer machine across the room from me, waiting for me to stop – cringing I notice.

When I finally calm down he starts, "Are you hurt?"

I shake my head.

He gets all nervous. "Well, did something happen to the baby?"

I shake my head again.

"Then, what's wrong?" He stares at me. "Because maybe I can fix it."

"You can't fix everything, Derek. Okay? Some things you can't fix!" I yell. "Sometimes you can't be the everything that everybody wants you to be!"

And then he's yelling, too. But, hey! It's our thing. The only way we know how to communicate.

"Well, maybe if you would give me a goddamn chance, I would be able to!"

"You can't fix this, okay?" I start screaming with my hands – and that's never a good thing. But, on the bright side, Edwin and Lizzie won't have to listen with their ears at the door anymore, like I know they are. "It's _my_ problem, alright? Mine. You helped, a little, but it's still mostly my problem. And I'm dealing with it, okay? I was dealing with it just fine until you guys pranced all in here like you own the-"

Now one of his hands is covering my mouth and the other is pinching my chin. "Casey," He whispers. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I try to pull out of his grasp, but that only makes him hold on harder.

"Casey."

And then tears start streaming down my face. "I'm a college… a college… drop out."

He drops his hands. "This… is about school." He looks at me in utter disbelief. "School?"

"Yes!" And then I'm crying again, and he's looking like he's trying not to burst into hysterics. "I'm a statistic, Derek! A freaking STATISTIC, Derek. And you _know_ when people drop out of school they NEVER go back!"

And he's laughing. Like it's hilarious, or something.

"Stop," I slap his chest as hard as I can. "It's not funny, Derek! I'm stupid! All that hard work, and for what!?! NOTHING!"

And he's just laughing and laughing.

And I'm just punching him and punching him.

AND,

I can't see my feet. I'm officially over 9 months pregnant, and I'm scared to go anywhere for fear of my water breaking somewhere random, and people thinking I peed myself. So, I try to stay in as much as possible, but sometimes, well, people can't stay hopped up in a house all day.

And, Derek.

Derek is going flipping insane. He's such a nervous wreck. And, he's constantly watching me, which is constantly annoying because every time I move, he thinks the baby's coming. Every time I breathe, he thinks the baby's coming. He is pretty much beyond paranoid at this moment.

There was a knock at the door, so I hobble – yeah I don't even waddle anymore, uh-uh. That has passed, and now… I hobble – over to the door, and open it. It's Derek, with my cookies and cream ice cream.

I grab the carton. "Thanks, D."

He scowls at me. "You do realize it's 4 in the morning, right?"

I nod, closing the door behind him.

"And that, human people don't eat ice cream this early, let alone call people to go find a store open early enough that even carries your beloved cookies and cream ice cream."

I reach into the drawer that holds the spoons and dish one out, immediately drowning myself in this delicious ice cream. "Mm. This is good." I say pointing to the carton.

"You're insane." He rolls his eyes.

"Love you, too, D." I say with my mouth completely full.

He's staring at me, but I pretend not to notice and continue stuffing my mouth with ice cream. "This needs pickles." I walk over to the fridge to fetch some.

He scoffs. "You're a freak." He walks over to the door. "Alright, I'm out. And, don't call me in the middle of the night like that just for some ice cream, okay? You almost gave me a freaking heart-attack."

I pull my head out of the fridge and glare at him. "Are you complaining that all you have to do is get me ice cream?"

"Well-" He begins looking sheepish, because he knows I'm about to attack.

"Es-_pecially_ when," I slam the fridge door shut. "I've been carrying around _your_ baby for the last nine months? And I've gotten really really fat! _And_ I have the stretch marks to prove it, which I don't know HOW I'm going to get rid of once this is over."

"I wasn't-" He opens the door to make his escape.

"I really hope this isn't you complaining." I know I'm giving him an evil glare. I can feel him cowering under my gaze. I'm drunk on the power. Haha.

"No, no," He's halfway out the door. "No complaining going on here."

And then, he's gone.

And I laugh – into my carton of Ben & Jerry's and pickles.

**

October 21, 2009: Hospital Room: While I'm conscious.

Why isn't the baby HERE!!!!!?????

It is way late - which only tells me that it's definitely a Venturi. I mean, come on. I've been waiting for forever.

Anyways, as a way to get to know my child's future step-mom, Trisha invited me to go hang out with her at – where else? – the mall. Which is a good and a bad thing. Good, because, well, I LOVE shopping. Bad, because did I not already mention that I hobble?

"Uhm," I place the tips of my fingers on my temples. "Thanks."

She hands me a bottle of water that she just got from the food court. "No problem. You okay?"

"Um, yeah," I take a sip. "I would be worried, but I've been getting dizzy on and off for the last week now."

There's a moment of silence, where I just continue drinking my drink.

"So, Casey," Then she pauses and looks back at me. "It is okay that I call you that, right?"

I look at her confused. "It is my name."

"Well, only because I heard Derek calling you Cassandra once, and I figured maybe it's like a nickname or something."

I roll my eyes. "Everybody just calls me Casey."

"Okay," She smiles, picking up a top and holding it to herself. "Good. Well, you can call me, Trish, if you want?"

"No, thanks."

I guess my tone was kind of cold because she instantly changed the subject. "Anyways, I was wondering. You decide on a name yet?"

"No, actually," I grab a top myself. "Guess it's a good thing the baby's late, eh?"

She laughs. "Well, what about Jordan?" She turns at me. "Because either way, if it's a boy or a girl it'll work out fine."

Okay, Jordan was definitely at the top of our list of 'Maybe Names', but now that she's mentioned it, I instantly hated it. "Uh, no." I said really shortly and turned the other way.

"Casey, look," She slams down the shirt with her perfectly manicured hands. "I am trying here. I am trying _really_ hard to like you."

"_You're_ trying? I didn't ask you to like me. I sure as hell don't like you." I scoff putting my top down as well. "You can stop 'trying' now." And, yes, I did use air quotes around 'trying'.

"You don't get it," She steps really close to me. It makes me want to snap her tiny body in half. "I'm trying insanely hard here to like you. Because if I don't like you, then this whole my fiancé-having-a-thing-with-his-step-sister-and-now-they're-having-a-baby thing my get to me. And, I might forget just how much I love Derry-"

I scoff. "Derry?"

"Yes, Derry." She points her bony little finger at me.

What the hell? Did I just wet my pants? I look down. "Uh, Trisha?"

"I'm not done." She huffs out. "_I'm_ his girlfriend now. _I'm_ going to be his wife. Not you. And I don't know what stupid thing you did to miss out on him, but he's real good to me. Sometimes a bit of an ass-"

"Trisha!"

She yells. "CASEY! I'm talking here, dammit. Like I was saying. You screwed up. You lose. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is."

Done trying to get Trisha's attention, freaking out on the inside, I look down at all the blood at my hands – and there is a LOT of it, this is no spotting, it went through my jeans. And a lot of it. – and then suddenly everything's black.

And somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear screaming.

And then nothing.

Nothing else.

* * *

**OKay, hope u liked/loved it!!!**

**Review, please. FOR ME!!!**

**Laura :D  
**


	7. Not sure that I like my outfit

**Sorry. As per usual. It took me forever and a day. Just got back from vacation. It was awesome. I would also like to say that I kind of went a little overboard with this chapter. It might be a little unbelieveable. But, again. FICTION! **

**Anyways, I dedicate this next chapter to Michael Jackson. You'll always be in my heart. I love you!!!! King of POP! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. And Famous is just a magazine I made up.**

**

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Chapter 7  
**

Um October 22, 2009: Uh, the Hospital

Um. This is Derek.

I figured Casey would want to know every detail of what happened to her, I mean, she is ALWAYS writing in this thing. I feel like, I don't know, she'd maybe want this stuff written down.

And, hey! Another point of view is always helpful. I mean, Casey is pretty boring. Don't lie.

Anyways, what I'm about to tell you may make you scream or cry. And possibly die. I know that's what it's done to me.

So, yesterday I drove up to Toronto. Trisha and Casey were in for some "bonding" time which I knew would only end badly and in tears. So, I was already expecting a phone call – from which one was still a mystery. (Probably both though).

My coach had called me out for a meeting. Said he had heard about Casey's pregnancy – stupid tabloids – and about my being engaged to Trisha – again stupid tabloids, get out of my life! –he was extremely concerned as to whether any of this would affect my playing. He looked extremely nervous and I had to assure him like 90 times that my life runs on drama, that it wouldn't affect a thing.

So, he's like, "Derek, honestly. I have kids." I nod. "I know how time consuming they are. It's difficult enough to be there for them 24/7 and I live with them."

I scrunch my eyebrows.

"I mean, you living with Trisha is insanely inconvenient since Casey isn't living with you. I mean, Casey is probably really mad at you, too, right?"

"How do you know all this?" I demand my fists clenching at the side.

"Uh, you know," He holds up the _Famous_ magazine where he had it hidden on his lap. "My uh… wife loves tabloids."

"Sure," I glare. "Your _wife_."

"Yes, um,"

But, he's cut off by my phone ringing. I look at it. I knew something was going to happen. It's Trisha. I roll my eyes. What bitchy thing did Casey say now?

"One sec, coach." I get up from my chair and walk a few steps away so he can't hear the whole conversation.

I sigh, "Hello?"

"Derek, oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't even breathe." She's almost hyperventilating on the other end. This can't be from some little chick fight. "We were fine. I mean, I was and then she was. And then I kept and then she just… Ah!"

"Honey, honey, calm down." I roll my eyes. "Use your words."

And then she's yelling. "Casey just fainted. She just passed out! Boom! Oh, my God!"

My eyes widen. Oh, no! "Casey! What happened?"

"I… I don't even know, really. I mean, she's bleeding from her… you know."

If possible my eyes have widened even more. There was no need to step away from Coach because I'm sure he can hear everything I'm saying. "The baby. Oh, my God!"

"I know. I'm so scared." Trisha says in a small voice.

"Is the ambulance there yet?" I question.

"Um," And then I want to just completely strangle her. "Not yet?"

"TRISHA! You did call emergency didn't you?" I'm screaming. "I know you can be dumb at times, but if this kills Casey..."

"I didn't think… I'm sorry! I crack under pressure."

"CALL THE DAMN POLICE!" I'm screaming and I hang up the phone. I twirl around to face my coach and he's staring at me with wide eyes.

"Something's wrong with Casey… and the baby. I've got to go."

Dammit! Of all the days to go to Toronto! Stupid! I rush out hop into my car and hit the gas going towards London. I call Trisha again, and this time she's in a terrible mood.

The call is short – mostly because the only reason I called was to see if Casey was still alive and what hospital they were going to. The whole ride was torture. I was beating myself up about not being there, when I promised I would take care of her. I know we aren't together anymore, but I still care for her. Whole heartedly.

So, I'm speeding down the highway when – wouldn't you know it! – I hear sirens behind me.

I look up at the ceiling of my car and scream. "Are you _shitting_ me right now!!!?!"

I pull over to the side of the road and slam my head against the steering wheel.

The cop rats on my window and I roll it down. He's frowning. Oh, shit! He looks at me and then says, "Do you have _any_ idea how fast you were going, son?"

Ugh! I so do not have time for this. "Fast?"

"_Too_ damn fast, captain."

"Look," Searching his uniform for a name tag, giving up I say, "Officer, my girl… sis… _Casey_ is having our baby right now, I think. Except that, apparently, she fainted and she's bleeding from her," I look at him and his face scrunches. "You know? And, I have to be there. Because if my fiancé is left alone with her, she will die. DIE!" I take a big breath and then it's silent for a while until,

"Derek Venturi?" His face gets all excited and he pulls off his hat.

"Yeah?"

"Derek Venturi of the Maple Leafs?"

This could work to my advantage. "That's me. Regular old hockey playing fool."

"I knew you looked familiar!" I nod. "Yeah, I read all about your story in that er, what's its name? Oh, I forget. Some magazine. Woo-hoo, buddy! Are you in for a handful!"

I nod, annoyed. "Oh, yeah."

"I mean, my wife gets jealous just when we pass my ex-wife in the street. Good luck!" And he starts laughing. I clear my throat to get his attention.

I can feel my face heating up. "Yeah, so, if you could give me my ticket so I could be on my way."

"Oh, yeah." He straightens up. "No need. You know what? My kid loves you. I'll escort you to where you need to go."

"Thank you, Victoria Hospital." I told him.

"No problem." And he's in his car siren's blazing and I'm following him.

**

As soon as I hit the Hospital I'm running in towards the waiting room. Once I get there, I see Trisha, the family, Emily, even Sam!

Trisha has this murderous look on her face.

But, everyone is wearing their worried face, and it's even worse because everyone is crying. "What's happening? How is she?"

I look over at Nora and she's shaking her head. I cry out. "Oh, God!"

"Not so good, honey." She wipes her face. "It's not looking good at all."

"I don't get it. She was fine. What's wrong with her?" I demanded. "The baby! Is the baby okay?" Basically at this point I'm pulling out my hair. Goodbye gorgeous locks, hello baldy.

"They had to do an emergency cesarean and –"

I look at her like she's insane and she trails off. "What the _hell_ does that mean? Could you dumb it down please?"

"She had to have an emergency c-section."

I couldn't breathe. I've been waiting for the kid all week, but not like this. "Oh, my God!" I sit down.

I hear Lizzie call out, "Put your head between your knees, Derek. Trust me." I listened. Only because at this point anything was better then everyone seeing me crying.

"She has something called Placenta Previa. It was caught extremely late. I'm not even sure that I totally understand. Apparently, it's rare in women her age. Usually in people under 20 or over 30. And I guess, apparently, it's really severe. And, Derek,"

"What?" I snapped. "I don't want to hear anymore."

George piped in. "You'll want to hear this."

I wait and then I hear Nora quietly say, "Apparently," If she says that fucking word one more time I swear I will kill myself. "Women tend to be higher at risk when their placenta is bigger."

I make a face, but no one can see it because my head is between my knees. Ew! "Nora, as usual, I have no idea what the hell you are talking about! I don't even know what a placenta is!"

She rushes out. "Your placenta is usually bigger when you are carrying more than one child!"

I slowly pull my head up, as I'm contemplating her words. I look at her face and she is totally serious. And, I can't help it. I start to laugh. I'm laughing! Because this is totally insane. Because this makes absolutely no sense! Because I – at this particular moment in time – want to off myself. I cannot even believe this is happening. In fact, I'm so sure that I'm probably dreaming it's ridiculous. I turn around and Sam and Emily are giving me strange looks.

I stammer out, "Twins."

Sam shakes his head. "Naw, man. Triplets."

There's a really long pause as I try to fathom all this news, and then before you know it I just burst into another round of laughter. "That- ha, ha – _that_ is funny. Genius, even." And before I know it. Edwin starts cackling behind me and then everyone is laughing.

And then we here a clearing of the throat. We all look up to see the doctor standing there with a serious look on his face. "Did someone tell you the good news before me?"

Nora visibly relaxes. "Good… good news?"

"Yes. She was having a hard time waking up from the anesthesia but she has woken up. The Placenta Previa is not as bad as we thought it was at first, it's just completely strange so late in the pregnancy and to not have been caught by the gynecologist..." He shakes his head in disbelief. "Anyway, she is awake now. And not feeling much pain, so. Once again, I am a genius." I can so tell he is mentally patting himself on the back right now. "You must be the father, Dr. Pixley." He holds out his hand and I quickly shake it.

"Can I see Casey?" I rush out. He squints his eyes and then decides,

"Sure. Right this way."

He leads me to her room and I burst through the door. "Casey!"

She looks peeved. She's sitting there steaming, with her arms folded like she's about to get ready to angry-cry. As soon as she sees me, she explodes, yelling,

"The fucking nurses won't tell me anything! Why won't they tell me anything, Derek?" I raised my eyebrows at her language. I had never heard her use that word before. Made her, I don't know, more human. Especially since there was a nurse standing right next to her. She's borderline hysterical. "Suddenly I'm de-pregnant and I have no idea what the hell happened!"

The nurse actually looks scared of Casey. Like petrified. "Miss McDonald, I told you, I am not authorized –"

Casey cuts her off, - this whole thing is kind of hilarious – "And _that_ is a whole bunch of bull. I've seen doctor shows. And I've seen that new nurse show with Jada Pinkett, okay? Nurses talk all the _damn_ time!"

"Aaaand, I've got it from here." The nurse looks grateful and over to the chart by the door which is clearly smart, I mean, Casey looked like she was about to hit her.

"Do you know what happened? Because I am totally confused." She starts crying.

I sulk over to her bed and sit down next to her. "I think it best the doctor tell you. I didn't exactly understand everything. In fact, I'm still in shock."

"Oh, my God!" She cries.

"What?" I scan her over quickly.

"I am going to murder _everyone_ in this freaking room!" And I was just trying my best not to laugh in her face right now.

Luckily Dr. Pixley and Nancy – Casey's gynecologist – walk in. I immediately begin glaring at Nancy.

Dr. Pixley starts with, "Casey, how are you?"

"Just peachy." She answers sarcastically. "What is going on?"

"Casey, you have placenta previa." Casey's eyes widen and I'm like how the hell'd she know what that was? He continues, "It wasn't too severe so you'll be fine. As will your babies."

I wait for it. She didn't catch it. "Good. Good." She breaths out. "Boy or girl?"

I go, "Casey-" But the doctor holds up his hand and I stop.

"Two boys and a girl."

There's a long silence. I am really beginning to hate silence.

Casey asks really politely, "I'm sorry, what?"

"You had triplets." The doctor confirms and hearing the doctor say it made it like ten times more official.

She pulls her away from her face, looks at me, and goes, "Hair tie?"

I look around and see that Nancy has her hair in a pony tail. I snap my fingers at her and she pulls it out and hands it to me. I hand it to Casey and she pulls her hair back.

We're all waiting for her response, but nothing's happening.

And then, out of nowhere: laughter. She's laughing. And because, I too, find this situation completely insane, I join her.

We laugh for a good 3 minutes, until it slows into a self pitying kind of heaving.

I mumble under my breath, "Your gynecologist sucks."

She starts sobbing and stumbles out, "I KNOW!"

**

"Three. I mean, three. Three kids. Three. Not one or two. But, three. Three. I mean, it's not that bad."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, it's less than four."

She's been rambling for like 10 minutes. At least she passed the hyperventilating stage. That is what you call torture. Dr. Pixley was worried. I mean, yes, I'm in shock too, but I choose to bottle up mine until one day I just explode. It's just how I do things.

"Well, I wanna see 'em." We look up at the doctors.

Dr. Pixley says, "Well, of course. But, you have to use a wheelchair. I'll have a nurse take you."

"I can do it." I insist.

"Uh, hospital policy." But he winks as he's walking out. "But, okay."

Um… freak.

**

I got Casey a chair and am now rolling her towards the nursery thingy.

"Derek, we aren't ready for one kid what makes me think we can take on three! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Why did I move out? I am _so_ stupid! I need help! We need help. But mostly I need help, because they'll be living with me, and you won't be there 24/7 with your hockey and your fiancé and what not. And, money! What am I supposed to do about money! I don't have a job, I don't have anything!"

"Casey, calm." I also am trying to figure these things out in my head. "Breathe. I'll take care of your rent."

"Oh, well, thanks Derek. One problem down. 600 _billion_ left to go!"

She is making this _way_ more difficult than it has to be.

We turn into the nursery and the nurse points to three glass boxy thingys. Oh, my gosh!

They're…

"Beautiful." Casey cries out. She goes to stand, but I push her down.

"Can we hold them?" I ask some lady

.

"Sure." She takes Baby Girl Venturi and hands her to me, and Baby Boy Venturi to Casey. And she holds the third child in her arms. "Your kids are gorgeous."

Casey smiles this huge smile, but I can see the worry and the stress all over her face. I've spent years decoding it. But, she shuffles it away and kisses the baby's forehead.

I look down at my baby girl and coo, "Hey baby! It's me. You're gorgeous." She looks up at me and smiles this toothless smile and my eyes widen. "Should she be able to do that already?"

The nurse looks over and says. "Babies vary."

"What did she do?" Casey wonders reaching her hand out for the second boy.

"She smiled at me." Casey looks up at me and cranes her neck.

"No way! I want to see!" We switch babies so now I have the one the nurse held, Casey gave the nurse hers, and I gave Casey the baby I had. Oh, hell. This is going to be a nightmare.

Casey is cooing at the baby, smiling this huge proud mama smile, and I can't help but smile, too. At our first – strange – family moment. "Derek!" She slaps my arm.

"Ow! Baby in hand." I complain.

"She smiled at me, too." She's now crying. But, I can tell these tears are happy ones. With a hint of anxiety.

"Yeah, well, she smiled at me first." She rolls her eyes. "Which obviously means I'm her favorite."

Daddy's Little Girl. I like that. And then two boys – one of them has to be sporty if not both! I'm going to have a protégé.

And then, Casey starts sobbing. And without even looking I can tell these are not happy tears in any way, shape, or form.

"Casey?" She looks up at me, fearful. "You okay?"

She shakes her head. I wait, so she'll tell me what's wrong as we're rotating babies again.

"We don't have names for any of them."

And she's hyperventilating again.

* * *

**Yeah, wow. I just, i don't know, really. I figured there was no Dasey has triplets story so i threw this out there. W.e. Little Plot Twist. Change of Plot for me but uh, we'll see how it goes. i thought it was funnier this way. **

**Review.  
**

Laura :D


	8. Tried everything in my closet

**Wow. Now this is what i call some speedy updating. You're welcome. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek**

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**Chapter 8**

November 1, 2009: While the babies are sleeping

Okay, why on random pages throughout this diary is Derek signature there? Did he read you, or something? Oh, my gosh! If he did I will just die! Although it was extremely sweet of him to write all the stuff down for me while I was having my nervous break dow- I mean, really foggy black period of which I remember almost nothing.

Anyways, I know I haven't written in weeks so let me just fill you in. Where should I start? Oh, the baby naming process. That was about the day after the Trips were born.

Okay, so, they made me stay a couple days after my surgery. They said they wanted to make sure that there was no extra damage done to my placenta. So, the next day I wake up and wouldn't you know it! Derek is asleep on a cot next to me. Why? I have no clue.

"Derek." No answer. I tried again, still no answer.

Seeing as how I had just gone under strenuous surgery I felt it unnecessary to be doing all this work. So, instead I took a pillow from behind me and threw it at him. He woke up promptly.

"Case," He rubbed at his face. "What the hell?"

"I'm wonderin' the same thing!" I looked at him pointedly and he grimaced.

"Oh yeah, well," He swung his legs over the cot lazily. "Me and Trish kind of got in a fight."

"Trish and _I _had a fight," I corrected.

He looks at me surprised. "You guys too!"

"No. Well, I mean, yes." Which is true, because I do recall her yelling at me about "losing out" on Derek before blacking out. "But, no, I'm trying to tell you that the correct English is Trish and I."

Derek rolls his eyes and walks over to sit on my bed. "So," I look at him waiting. "I swung by your apartment and picked up this book." He walks over the door and pulls out Baby Names, 2008 edition, as if he were Vana White.

I narrow my eyes. "How'd you get in my apartment?"

"Anyways," He sits back down casually, as I punch him in his shoulder. "This is something that needs to be done. In like… oh, I'd say the next 24 hours. So, you may start the bitching process, ehhh-" I glare at him as he holds out the sound and checks his watch. "Now!"

"Derek, I am in NO mood for your attitude. I just had your children. THREE of them." I scolded, folding my arms.

"Oh, _please_," He looks at me with a smile tugging at his lips. "You were under anesthesia."

I pouted. He was never going to let that one go. And, also, because I was never going to be able to use that whole "I-spent-20-hours-in-labor-for-you-and-this-is-how-you-treat-me" thing.

Forty-five minutes later:

"Theresa?"

"No." He said in annoyance, flipping through the book. "Derek?"

"Oh, hell no." I said with just as much indignation.

He flops back onto the bed, hands pulling at his hair. "_This_ is a nightmare!"

"Okay, I will give you… Brooklyn," His eyes widen in surprise as I went in for the kill. "For Landon."

He lets out a cry in agony. "NO! For the last time our son will not be named Landon!"

"Then our daughter will not be named Brooklyn." I stated really upset. _A Walk to Remember_ is my favorite movie of all times.

"Case-" But, he was interrupted by a nurse who had poked her head in at that moment. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, but were you planning on continuing breast feeding?" She asked. When I nodded she wheeled in the babies in those little tray thingies on top of carts.

Derek blushed and stood up. "I think I have to pee or something."

"Sit down!" The nurse handed me one of the boys. "You'll have to get use to this. I'm a woman. This is my natural position in life." Derek sat down on his cot, with that look on his face that he used to make in high school. "It's a beautiful thing. I am going to do this the way God intended. And, I plan on breast feeding for at least a month. So, as a man, you will endure this with me."

The nurse chuckled while tucking the baby into my arm. "Well, if you really want to do it the right way, it is strongly encouraged for at least a year."

I scoffed. "Well, I'm not crazy."

Derek laughed. "Thought you were going to do it the way God intended?" He got up and went over to pick up one of the Trips.

I wanted to slap that little smile off his face. "I lied."

Okay, let me just say, the breast feeding process HURTS! I'm not kidding the nipping and the grabbing. OUCH! Oh, God! It was terrible. Now I see why my mother only lasted a week! And, I had three babies nippin' at me. Oh, the horror. I'm going to have to sleep on my back tonight.

After I'm done feeding the trips I'm walking around the room with one of the boys, and I hold him up to Derek. "Okay, really! Does he not look like a Landon to you?"

Derek scowls. "Uh, no, he really doesn't."

"Ugh!" This was really frustrating. I think I'm giving myself an ulcer. "Okay, how about we name him Max? Huh? That's a cute name. I always liked the name Max?"

"No." He didn't even look up from our baby girl to defend his reason. Ouch! Does my opinion mean nada to him?

I place one hand on my hip. "Give me one good reason why not!"

"Because Casey," He kisses the top of the baby's head. "We aren't naming our child after one of your ex-boyfriends. Especially one that I had a rivalry against."

I narrowed my eyes. He had a good point, but still, I wasn't letting up that easily. "That's stupid!"

"You're right," He holds up the baby. "Let's name _her_ Trisha."

I slumped onto the bed, in defeat. "Touché."

He smirked.

And I was really lucky that I was already sitting down, because the feeling made my knees weak and my heart stop beating. I hadn't seen him smirk in a really long time. A _really_ long time! Had it almost been a year? I use to be able to count on those babies like 3 or 4 times a day.

"What?" He stares at me strangely. "Did I grow a second head?"

I cough and turn my head. I can just _feel_ my face heating up. I looked at him holding our baby girl, watching him playing with her as if she were – I don't know – his "Smarti". I knew he would be great with her. And so, what I did next was only to thank him for all his support and stuff, and maybe it was because the blood that had stopped flowing when my heart stopped beating, hadn't reached my brain yet.

"Alright, you can have Brooklyn." His eyes lit up.

"Seriously?"

"Yes." And then, suddenly the blood was flowing as normal. "And, I get Landon as a middle name for this guy."

He smiled, rolling his eyes. "Of course." We laughed. "Well, I'll take it anyway."

He nuzzled his nose into her belly. "Okay, so here we have Brooklyn…"

He paused and looked up at me, so I filled in. "Elizabeth. Brooklyn Elizabeth. You know, after Liz."

"Good. Brooklyn Elizabeth Venturi." I was going to inform him that – since I wasn't married to him (which I do not care about) – that I was going to name the children McDonald-Venturi, but I decided to let him have his moment. I'll tell him in a few hours. "Wow! This is so much easier when you're not being a bitch." I scowled at him. Or a few seconds if he didn't watch it.

He set Brooklyn down in one of the tray thingies and picked up the baby whose middle name wasn't Landon. Ay! This was going to be difficult.

"This one," I held up mine. "This one is Nathan Landon er… Venturi."

His face scrunches up. "Uh, Nathan?"

"Yes," I say sternly. "Because according to this book it's a Hebrew name and it means he gave - which is _exactly_ what I'm doing for the last name right now." I gave him a pointed look and he immediately agreed that Nathan was perfect. "Now you," I looked at the baby in his arms. "What are we gonna name you?"

The baby looked up at me and made the cutest face. I can't believe I'm a mom.

This was taking forever. We hadn't come up with a name for him in 15 minutes. How hard could this be?? Answer: Very!

"Okay," Derek sat down from his leaning position. "Samuel. After Sam. And because it'll take another twenty minutes to figure out his middle name, let's use Dennis. After your dad."

Uhhhhh… "_Or _we give his middle name to you. Samuel Derek." We both cringed at how terrible that sounded.

"You really can't stand your dad can you?" He asked giving me a look.

I shook my head. "Not at all." It was quiet for a while and then I said. "Let's start with A."

"Okay," Derek lists off. "Alan, Aaron, Adam-"

"Adam! Adam is perfect. Samuel Adam. I love it!" I smile up at him. "You know what this means, right?"

"That we're officially parents because we have named all three of our children? By ourselves?" He goes really excitedly.

I squealed, cheering out loud. "Yes!" We both stand up and start dancing like crazy people in the hospital room – while holding babies.

My mom walks in followed by George, Liz, Edwin, Sam, Emily, and Trisha. Who apparently had all just made it back to the hospital. And I'm almost positive this many people are not allowed in the hospital room at a time. "What's with all the dancing?"

I look at them all excitedly. "Derek and I have officially named all three of the children."

Everyone – save for Trisha (that _bitch_) – is now grinning at us widely, as we introduce each one to everyone in the room.

**

"Honey, please stop crying! _Please!_ You'll wake up your brothers." I hush pleaded in an attempt to get her to stop crying. I start shaking the rattle in her face, but that doesn't calm her down either. "Brook, I've already given you food, I've held you for at least an hour. What more do you want from me?" And she just starts crying harder – which in turn wakes up Nate and Sam. "UGH! I can't do this!"

I pick up Nate, too, who's crying a little bit harder than Sam and try rocking both at the same time. Let me tell you, impossible. So, impossible that _I_ started crying.

So, we're all just sitting there… crying, when Derek walks into the nursery. He takes one look at the babies and then me and starts laughing.

"Where've you been?" I am pretty sure that I am shooting fire out of my eyes at him, but my vision is a little cloudy because of the tears, and everything.

"Case, it's one in the morning." He walks over to me and grabs Brooklyn and starts bouncing her up and down – within seconds she's done crying. I hate him.

"So! We're supposed to be a team here. How unfair is it that I have to be awoken out of my sleep until the early hours of the night just because you don't live here!" I accused. I went over to pick up Sam now.

"Casey, please. I did my shift. I was here at 6 in the morning until 6 p.m. those were your rules I followed them. I had hockey practice and we were chillin' at home and I came by to see if you needed any help," I scoff at him. He adds, "So, you're welcome. Is it my fault you felt this compulsive need to help me out during my shift? No. No it isn't."

"Well, obviously, Obi wan Kenobi, shifts aren't working! I don't have three arms. I can't do it by myself and neither can you. And, I understood that. So, I helped you out." I walked over to the cabinet that held all the pampers and pulled it out, setting down Sam. "It'd be nice to have the same consideration!"

"Why do you think I'm here now?" He's only half fighting now; Brooklyn has almost all of his attention. "Dammit, Casey! One of us has to work. And, seeing as how _you_ are uneducated…"

I freeze in my process. "Ex-_cuse_ me! Ex-_CUSE_ me!"

He's gritting his teeth and his face is scrunched up like he wishes he could take it all back. "I was just –"

It was too late. I was already crying. Well, re-crying.

"I'm _sorry_ that my getting pregnant is _so_ inconvenient for you! I'm also sorry that I had to drop out of college so I could be here 24/7 for our baby which out of _nowhere_ turned into bab-_ies!_"

Derek nodded. "Okay, Case, I'm-"

"I'm sorry that you and Trisha have gotten into a plethora of new fights over this! I'm sorry that your hockey coach had to call a meeting because he wasn't sure if you would be capable of giving your undivided attention. I'm also sorry that I am _slowly_ and _painfully_ ruining your life every _day_."

Derek puts Brooklyn down and steps closer to me. "Casey, you're not-"

"And you wanna know what I'm really sorry for? My absolute _worst_ sin?"

"No, Case. You don't have to-" He puts his hands on my face and just watches me his eyes bouncing back and forth.

I - attempt - to shake my head. "No, you want to know this Derek. This is the big one. Wanna know?"

There was a little bit of silence as I waited for him to answer, as my tears poured over his hands.

He whispered. "Tell me."

The change in his atmosphere changed with his tone, as I whispered. "I'm sorry I ever sorta-dated you, because none of this would have ever happened." He visibly stiffens. "And, it's _all_ my fault because I suggested it and now…" My voice broke. "Now you hate me. And, I'm sorry!"

"No, Case," He grabs me in his arms, throwing his arms around my neck, pulling my head against his chest, as I just cried.

I cried out. "I'm so sorry!"

"I could never hate you." He said as he stroked my hair, pulling me over to the rocking chair. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap. "Never in a million years, Casey. Because I still-"

I look up at him as he pauses, resting my chin on his chest.

"I still… really care about you, Casey. More than anything. You're like my best friend." And because I'm "like his best friend" I can tell that that face he made after he said that meant something. He was going to say something else. What? I guess I'll never know, as I buried my face back into his chest as all the crying around us ceased.

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**Hey! SO, there's chapter 8. Hope you enjoyed. A little preview of their lives with the Trips. (FYI- that's what i have deamed the triplets) HA, anyhoot, review, tell me what you liked, what you didn't like. What you thought was funny. You know, the usual! :D**

**Laura :D  
**


	9. Nothin Feels Right When I'm Not With You

**Let me just add how much I do NOT know about Hockey. Infact, I know so little about hockey it's insane. I do not know if they have screens at the top like they do at bball games, but let's just pretend. **

**Disclaimer: I own Nothing. **

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February 21, 2010: Home

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really am.

It's been a really long time since the last time I wrote in here. It's just that… I have no time. Like, at all. But, I promise to start being more on it. I promise.

I do.

Anyway, the Trips are exactly 4 months old today. And Derek has a game. This isn't the first time I've ever taken them out in public, but it is the first time I've ever taken them to a public affair. Derek's going to be so surprised. He doesn't even know yet. Apparently this is the game that decides whether or not they go to the playoffs, or something. So, he's real nervous.

Speaking of Trisha – we were speaking of her right? – their wedding is on June 7, 2010. At 5 p.m. at AquaLake Country Club. I know, because I just got the save-the-date thingies.

Sam just walked in. More later.

February 21, 2010: Derek's Hockey Game

So, Sam walked in, smiling all big – it is very clear that he doesn't have children – carrying one of those Over the Shoulder Baby Holders.

"Thought you might need this." He walks over to me and takes Nate out of my hands. "Hey, man!"

I look at it. This things pretty cool. "Sam, this thing is awesome!" I walk over to him and give him a side hug and kiss him on the cheek. "You are awesome."

He blushes, shrugging his shoulders. "Eh! That's what they tell me." He looks around. "Now, where's my little buddy?"

"He's crawlin' around here somewhere." I walk towards the nursery. "He's pretty advanced for his age."

Sam smiles, finding Sammy and placing him in the car seat that we are totally bringing with us to sit in the bleachers, "He gets that from me."

Since, we didn't tell Derek we were coming we didn't get the best seats available. But, Sam bought some and got some pretty decent ones. We're by his bench so it should be good.

I mock-glare at him. "You do know this isn't your baby, right?" He laughs and I join in.

I place Brook in the holder thing that's strapped to my chest. Which is totally convenient. Why didn't I have this before?

We all head out to Sam's car, since he's driving us to the game. We strap them in their car seats and head out.

"So," Here's a little piece of info on Sam. He sucks at being casual. "What's up?"

I give him a look. "What?"

"Okay, since you strangled it out of me." I roll my eyes. He is such a drama king. "What's going on with you?"

My eyes quickly glance down and then back up again. "What are you talking about, Sam?"

"You know what I'm talkin' about?" He pulls up to a traffic light and turns his head toward me. "Talk to me."

"I don't know," I shift in my seat. Did someone turn the bun burners on? "Just livin' life, I guess."

"You're not livin' life. You haven't been livin' life for the past four months."

"Well, Sam, I have kids." I look back as I speak. "I don't have time for life."

"_Derek_ has time for life." Somehow he thinks that changes things.

"Well, _Derek_ isn't a mom. Is he?" I roll my eyes and turn to look out the window.

Sam said. "No, but he's a dad."

"Which is completely different." I bite the inside of my cheek. "Completely."

He sighs, turning right. "Emily says," I roll my eyes mumbling something along the lines of Oh Great! But, he just ignores me. "She says she hasn't heard from you in a while. She just really wants you to call her."

I look at him. That can't be it. "And?"

"And," He pauses. For dramatic effect I'm sure. "What're you doing?"

I stare at him confused. Uh, what is he talking about?

He starts yelling. "You're letting Derek slip away. And for what? For that… _bitch_, Trisha! Come on, Casey." Sam and I have taken to calling Trisha, Trish the Bitch. It's actually really funny. I think it might have been because we were really slap happy that day.

My eyes widen and all I can think is 'Deny. Deny Deny'. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Aww, save it for the paparazzi, Casey. You guys are supposed to be together. If these babies haven't brought you guys together, I don't know what will! I mean, he's getting married and you love him-"

"Now, wait just a minute! I do not lo-" Sam gives me this look like 'Who are you kidding' and I cave. "Okay! Maybe I love him. God! You think I like knowing that I'm in love with someone who's in love with someone else! It's pathetic! It's depressing! And, it's not me. I am not some pathetic, desperate _chick_ who's fallen for Derek's charm. I refuse to be that person."

It's quiet for a while until I start whining. "But, why doesn't he want to be with me!" And then, I'm crying.

I swear, I'm crying. Again.

I think pretty much every entry in this entire diary, I cry. They might as well name me Ms. Waterworks, or something.

"Aw, Case," Sam – who apparently has already pulled up to the arena – places a hand on my back and rubs it. "He wants you." When I start crying harder he adds. "He does! He just doesn't know it yet. Trust me on this one. I'll talk to Emily. We'll think of something." I nod, wiping my tears.

**

Ugh! Hockey is _so _boring! It really is. And, it's also complicated. And all these people keep coming up to us and are like, "You're Casey McDonald, aren't you?" To which I'd be all "Yes" And then they'd go. "Are these Derek's babies?" And it went on and on and on. It was just sick.

Until the one point where someone must of tipped off the camera men, because suddenly we were on the screen and everybody started cheering and whitsling. It was awful. Because, boy! Dude, I look whooped! My hair was thrown up into this messy bun, luckily I lost all that baby fat, but still. And, Brook is hooked to the front of me and Sam's holding Sammy and Nate is in a car seat and we just look completely out of place.

And Sam, is just lovin' it. He's all smiling at the camera. Making Sammy wave at the cameras. I mean, it was embarrassing.

And, it was really loud. It got to the point where everybody on the ice stopped playing because they were so CONFUSED why people were CHEERING when NOTHING was happening on the ice. Finally, someone elbowed Derek – who had his number changed to 3 – and he looked up at the screen. I forced myself to smile.

He whips off his helmet and whirls his head around trying to find us. Sam raises his hand really high and starts waving, so I – so, he didn't look like too big a loser- join in. He finally finds us, and smiles this huge grin and waves. We wave back. And, he looks the happiest I've ever seen him. He mouths at me, "What are you doin' here?"

I shrug back smiling. He smiles back.

And then he plays the best game I've ever seen him play.

I mean, ever.

And, I can't help but notice Trisha, who's sitting up really close, is frowning.

**

February 21, 2010: Home, again.

So, they won the game!

And it was really cute. Because as soon as the buzzer went off he skated over to where we were real fast and waved for us to come down.

The cameras had NOT left us since they found out we were there. It was real embarrassing. We walked down and he met us, and as soon as we got down there he gave me this huge hug and kisses my cheek. As if _I_ were the one he was happy to see! He reaches out and takes Brook from my pouch thingy and gives her a big smooch. Right on the head. She coos and starts wiggling her feet around. And everybody laughs.

He bends down and kisses Nate and Sammy.

And the papz are going crazy. I mean, yes, this is prime footage. And, yes, it's free. I mean, the Trips have only been out, what, three, four times. There are absolutely zero pictures of them anywhere. And, definitely not with Derek. But, seriously. Back off!

"What are you doing here?" He questions his eyes bright with excitement.

I lay my hand on his arm, ignoring his question. "Congratulations! You made it to the playoffs!"

"Yeah, I did!" His smile – if it's even possible - gets even bigger. "Let me take you guys to dinner. My treat."

Sam nods his head at this. "Well, in that case. I'm in."

Derek laughs. "Course you are." He looks over at Trisha – who is fuming! – and says. "I'll be right back. I'll just go tell Trish and change."

"Alright." I say. And then he leaves. But, not without kissing my cheek AGAIN! I mean, what is wrong with him. Did he want the paparazzi to just die!?! Goodness, gracious.

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**Okay, so i know it's a little shorter than usual, but review anyway, cuz u love me. **

**Laura :D  
**


	10. Sick of this Dress

**Wow. I know! This is the most insanely fastest update i've ever done. Like EVER! I just got really inspired and just went with it. I hope you like it. I know at the ending you guys will all be like What the Hell? But, i think it's good to keep you on your toes. Haha. I'm keeping myself on my toes as well. SO, read up. and enjoy!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek**

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February 21, 2010: Bathroom at Pepino's

Should've known Derek wouldn't take us anywhere nice.

I mean, he makes millions and millions of dollars and he takes us to _Pepino's_?

Really? Pizza?

Anyways, let me rewind to before we left.

So, the Trips are strapped into their seats and Sam and I were leaning against the hood of Sam's SUV waiting for Derek and Trisha. They stroll out and you can tell they've been arguing. I mean, Derek's face is all red, Trisha lips are all pursed. And, they're trying _way_ too hard to be all perfect couple-y.

I mean, at first he had grabbed her hand, but she shook it off. Then, she tried putting her arms around his waist and leaning in to him, but Derek just wiggles out of it uncomfortably.

Sam looks at me out of the corner of my eye, lips quivering, and it takes all the strength in my body to keep from laughing out loud. I reach over and slap his arm, and he cracks.

I whisper furiously, while trying not to laugh – which is actually very hard to do. "If you don't stop!"

Sam does his best to straighten up and by the time he does Trisha and Derek have reached the car and they've settled for Derek's hand casually slung over Trisha's arm.

I smile politely. "Trisha,"

"Casey." She shoots back, creating this awkward silence where we are all just stand there staring at each other.

Sam whispers – so low I'm the only one who heard him – "Awkward turtle!"

I slap him in his chest with the back of my hand, and he feigns pain.

Derek and Trisha continue to stare at us in confusion and I can just feel the laughter bubbling up my throat.

Sam – holding back a laugh, you can totally tell – goes, "Uh, hm, there's not enough r-room in my car for all of… us."

Derek nods his head. "Yeah, man. No problem. You guys can just follow us."

Trisha shrugs off Derek's arm and spins – very supermodel like – and heads straight for Derek's sports car.

We all watch Trisha go with amused faces – well, Sam and I had amused faces on. Derek just looked like he wanted to die.

Sam punches Derek in the arm. "Trouble in paradise, eh?"

"Man," Derek sighs. "I am skating on _thin_ ice."

"How thin?" Sam raises his eyebrows.

"Paper."

And then one of the babies start crying so I turn to go see what the problem is – luckily I can still hear them. I take out the diaper bag and start searching for the diapers and powder and stuff. Because it smells in here. SOMEONE pooped their pants.

"Dude, man." I hear Sam say. "She looks pissed."

"She _is_." I hear some ruffling and then, "She thinks there's somethin' goin' on with me and Case."

"Seriously?" I look up and watch them through the windshield. Derek's rubbing his hands furiously through his hair. "Why?"

"I have no clue. Apparently I'm not allowed to kiss other woman on the cheek anymore?" Sam gives him a confused look and Derek goes, "Exactly! It's like she's turned into this insane jealous –"

Sam shrugs and suggests, "Bitch?"

Derek gives him a shove. "Look, man. I told you to stop calling her-"

"Derek!" Their heads turns to the crazy woman screeching from across the parking lot. Okay, I thought my 'Der-ek!' was intimidating and scary, but oh no. She's got me on this one. The way she just spats out his name as if it's on fire. Whoo! "What? You think the car door's just gonna open all by itself!! Open the damn door!"

Derek gives Sam a frustrated look. Sam turns to get into the car. "If the slipper fits…"

Derek shoots him a dirty look.

**

"So," I look up from feeding Nate a can of smushed up pees, Trisha's trying to make conversation – which is a little hard with me, Derek, and Sam occupied with feeding the Trips. "Excited?"

I know she's not talking to me so I look back down at what I'm doing. Unfortunately, no one answers. And being ignored is not one of Trisha's favorite things.

"Derek!" She slams her cup down on the table.

His head jerks up as well as Sam's and about half of the entire restaurant. "Yeah, babe." His face looks worried. This guy is totally whipped.

"Do you not hear me talking to you?" She screeches. "I said, are you _excited_."

"Yes, definitely." Then he looks around from Sam to Trisha and then to me and adds, "What exactly am I excited about?"

Trisha spats really evilly. "Making the playoffs!"

Oh my gosh! If this girl knew how much I wanted to laugh in her face right now. I mean, seriously. She is so dumb.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely, babe. Stoked." His eyes are flicking back and forth between our faces, while Brook's arm is _clearly_ demanding for more food.

Her face loses it's evilness as he beckons to her every whim. It's pathetic.

"So, Casey," Trisha coughs. "What do you do in all your free time?"

I scrunch my eyebrows together. "_What_ free time?"

"Well, you're not in college. And, you don't have a job." She giggles a little. I give her a look like, 'continue' only so that I don't punch her in the face for bringing up the obvious. "I mean, how do you _even_ pay for rent?"

Sam and Derek's head quickly pop up. Derek starts giving me this look, but I have no idea what he's trying to convey. I quickly look at Sam and he just shrugs. "Well, um, Derek… pays… my rent."

Trisha's head whips up from her pizza – that she had wiped all the cheese and sauce off of. So it was basically just bread. Which if she thinks about it, is _carbs_, so what is she really doing? Nothing. – and she goes in this really tight voice. "Ex-_cuse_ me?" Then she whips her head to Derek. "You pay for her rent!" When nothing but squeaks leave his mouth she whips her ponytail back at me. "He's paying for your rent!"

And I kid you not, I almost peed my pants. I mean, what the hell? Trish the Bitch is really scary, but when did she turn into Wicked Witch of the West… or was it East?

"I-I-I- I mean, h-he… Derek's… I mean, I sp-spe-spend more time with the Trips so, naturally, I don't have t-time for a job. So, Derek-Derek… he takes care of my rent." I stutter out.

"And the pampers, and the milk, and all the other shit babies need."

We are all frozen. I swear I looked over at Derek and Sam and their eyes are as wide as mine.

"Y-yes."

What is wrong with me? Why am I letting her get to me?

Anyways, she just continues to stare at me with this really I-can't-seriously-believe-you're-selling-me-this-bullshit look. Let me just tell you. It's really intimidating. Extremely.

Then she goes, "I hope," She stands up and me and Sam – who are on the opposite side of the booth – lean as far back as we can, cowering in fear. "I hope that you aren't planning on mooching off my husband for forever."

"No, of course not." I stammer out. "Just until I put the Trips in daycare and can get a stable job."

She laughs this really freaky laugh. "And how long's that gonna be? A year? Two?"

I look at Derek. Is he seriously going to sit back and let her talk to me like this? Oh, hell no!

Sam gives and effort and goes, "Listen, Trisha. Casey doesn't answer to-"

"Was I talking to you, asshole?" She doesn't even turn to look at him.

And that makes it even _scarier_.

"Look, Trisha, I just don't feel comfortable putting the Trips in daycare until they are at least 6 or 7 months old." My voice starts to raise a bit. This bitch is making me _really_ mad.

"Oh, come on, Casey," She laughs this really loud sarcastic laugh. And, we now have all the attention of _everyone_ in the room. "We all know what your secret plan is, _hon_! There's no reason to pretend anymore! We all know that you're trying to mooch off Derek until the day you freakin' die. Using that same lame punk-ass, 'Der-ek, I'm taking care of all three of your kids, our Trips – or whatever the hell you call them. I don't have time for a freakin' job. Take care of meee!' excuse! _Wake_ the hell up!"

My jaw pops open. What. The. Hell.

Excuse? It's no excuse! It's a reason. It's true!

But, apparently, Trisha is not done because she's still going. "Trust me on this one, Casey. Nobody cares about you. If it wasn't for your three dumb, time consuming-"

But, she was interrupted by a loud booming, "TRISHA!" Derek had slammed his fist down on the table and was now suddenly standing and pointing towards the door, yelling really loudly. "OUT. SIDE."

Trisha takes one look at him and then goes in a pitiful pout like a little girl, "Hmph!" And stomps out of the restaurant with Derek close behind her. Apparently, Brook is going along for the ride. I fear for her life.

I look at Sam and he looks back at me. And then we both let out these huge breaths we had not realized we were holding.

Sam mouths. "What the hell was that?"

I mouth back, shaking my head. "I have no idea."

I don't know why we're mouthing. I think we're just scared talking will cut a whole through all the tension that's surrounding us in this room, and that it will pour out and choke us with its evil-choking powers.

We watch them outside. They didn't go far, they're standing right in front of the glass door, so everyone can see them. They are screaming their heads off at each other. Well, mostly it's just Derek, but then it was Trisha. But, Trisha's part was more shoving and punching then actually arguing. Suddenly – or maybe not suddenly. We can't hear anything, so... – Derek points to his car, making sure to unlock it with his keys, and starts yelling. We can tell by how red his face is getting. Trisha stomps over to the car, gets in, and slams the door.

This whole scene took five minutes.

Derek walks back in, carrying a frightened looking Brooklyn, and hands her over to me. And Brook goes willingly.

"Sorry, guys," He looks really embarrassed actually. Which is a first for Derek, seeing as how he doesn't have a conscience, so he never actually feels guilty. "She's still really mad about… before. I don't know. I'll see you tomorrow, Case."

And then, he walks out shaking his head.

More later. I have to go before Sam breaks down the girl's bathroom door.

**

February 22, 2010: Bathroom in Derek's Apartment

Oh my gosh! So much has happened to me today it's like insane. Like in one 24 hour period all that crap happened to me. Well, maybe it was more like 20 hours, but still. You get the point.

Okay so,

We took a quick detour yesterday, on our way home, to stop at Emily's apartment – she lives with Ralph. We don't exactly understand what's going on there, and they _swear_ nothing's happening. But, we're not dumb. –

"Ahh! Hi!!" Emily squeals as soon as she opens the door. Something tells me she's more excited about the babies than seeing me. "A-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo! A-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo!"

Sam is giving her this –you-were-dropped-on-your-head-as-baby-weren't-you look and I'm pretty positive mine looks very similar.

Anyways we set the Trips on the floor and they start playing with each other so I figure we've got at least 5 minutes.

"Okay, Em," Sam starts sitting on the couch. "I've got a mission for you."

Emily looks up really excitedly and smiles. "Do your worst."

Which makes me think. What the hell do these two do in their spare time? Mission? This isn't a mission. And, why does she look so excited? It's not that exciting, hon. It's just Derek, for crying out loud. And how many missions has Sam put Emily on? Look at me, calling them _missions_. Oh, dear.

"Mission name," And Emily and I sit there waiting for it. "Dump-Trisha-and-get-Casey-and-Derek-back-together-so-we-can-all-live-happily-ever-after-like-it's-supposed-to."

We all stare at him like, 'are you serious?'

He adds, "And for short, C&D."

Emily smiles this very evil scientist kind of smile. "Excellent."

She leaves the room for a second and I go to Sam, "Sam I don't exactly feel comfortable breaking Trisha and Derek up."

He gives me this look.

"Okay, I really don't care about Trisha. But, I don't know if I'm into deceiving him into being with me."

"Casey," Sam rubs my back soothingly.

I sigh. "Yeah."

"Shut up."

Emily comes back into the room carrying this thick notebook. She drops it on the coffee table between us. Our mouths open really wide. Because there is this huge-ass notebook full of facts about Derek and me! And, I'm just totally flabbergasted by all of this.

"How long have you been gathering information about Derek and Me?"

She gives me this irritated look. "For a very, long time." Then she flips through some of the pages. "There's gotta be something in here we can use."

Sam comes over to sit next to Emily and points to a page. "What about this?"

"Ah, yes. Perfect." She smiles at Sam and he returns it. "See, Casey, there's a pattern. Derek could not stand it when someone other than him held your attention. So, naturally, step one is: Make Him Want, His Old Debutante."

I give her a weird look. "I'm not a deb-"

"It _has_ to rhyme, okay!" And then she slams the book shut. "Okay, I know this guy. He's really cute. He's going to be your blind date at The Tavern, tomorrow at 7. And, he won't know about the mission so don't say anything. Just be real. Well, as real as _you_ can be."

She gets up and starts talking on her phone.

"Emily!" I screech. But, she's already gone.

Sam looks at me with an amused grin. "Look-"

"No, Sam," How did I lose control of this situation. "I don't have time to date."

"No, no. It'll be perfect. Tomorrow you'll drop the kids off at Derek's. And, mention that you have a date. It'll be awesome. He'll get so freakin' jealous." Sam's rubbing his hands together and gets this look in his eyes I'm sure kids who burn ants with magnifying glass.

"Sam, no. That's conniving and deceiving and…" I pause for a second and think. "And, it just might work."

So that's how I'm here today.

I knock on the door and Derek opens the door to see me standing there holding two car seats holding Nate and Brook and the over the shoulder strappy thingy holding Sammy and two huge diaper bags.

"Um," He opens the door wider to let me through. "Hi."

I set down the car seats and hand Brook to Derek, which he accepts with no fuss.

"Look, Derek, I really need you to watch them for me. They've been sleep for a little while, so, it won't be much trouble. I know you were over earlier, but, I, uh…" I pause and point toward my outfit. "I have a date."

He freezes. You can tell. His whole body freezes and he sucks in his cheeks and looks me up and down.

I'm wearing a dress. Something I haven't worn in what almost a year! And, I look good in it. I know, because I tried on like a million before I settled on this one. It's short and black and hugs in all the right places.

"You have a d-date?" I nod. He adds while putting down Brook, "What? You can't… you can't date!"

And that's when I knew that I was going on this date whether I really wanted to or not. Who does he think he is?

"Yeah, I can." I walk over toward his kitchen to grab something to drink and he follows me.

"Case, what are you doing? You don't have time for a," When I shoot him a look he changes his approach. "You just had _triplets_, Case. I mean, are you sure you feel up to it? I mean, I'm sure your body is still in a _lot_ of pain."

"Derek, please. I was under anesthesia." Never thought I would use that against _him_, but whatever.

"Uh, Case, come on." He's following me to the fridge now. And, you know, I was wondering when Trisha was going to walk in the room, but I needn't wonder any longer.

"Hello, Casey." Our heads whip to the intruder and I smile.

"Hi, Trisha." I pour the cup of water. "Don't worry; I'm on my way out. Just dropping off the Trips."

Her eyebrows scrunch up. She's never spent more than twenty minutes with the Trips and they've never been over his apartment before. "Um, why?"

"Oh, I have a date." I smile.

She gets this really excited look on her face. "Really! Oh, that's wonderful." And, then her gaze turns to Derek's face – which is anything, but happy – and she instantly assumes why he's so pissed.

"Derek?" Her eyes slink into these tiny slits. "Isn't that wonderful? Casey's finally getting back out there. It's great. Isn't it?"

Derek takes one look at her and goes. "Of course, it is." And then he leaves in an abrupt halt.

And then we hear crashing and slamming and I turn to Trisha. She folds her arms against her chest and purses her lips.

"What are you trying to do?"

I throw an innocent look back at her. "I have no idea what you're-"

"Save it, Casey." She steps closer to me, and it's really scary to be that close to Satan. "I already _know_ what you're trying to do. I wrote the book on this. And, it's not gonna work."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're wrong." Where am I getting all this confidence from? I have no idea.

"Yeah? Just watch." She straightens up, fixes her hair, and un-buttons her first three buttons of her shirt. "Derry!"

"Yeah," He slowly walks out of the room and right up to her.

"Derry," She turns to him and places her hands on his chest. "I'm in the mood for… you _know_…"

And then, they're making out right in front of me! With tongue and everything! Like I'm not even here. She's good. A little too good. Makes me wonder why she wants it so bad.

Well, Trisha. Two can play that game.

"Derek," I start in the same whiny way she did. He pulls away and looks at me. "Brook is crying. And you _know _how she only stops for _you_. Could you get that?"

"Yeah, course." He untangles himself from Trisha and heads to the other room.

Trisha gives me a dirty look. "Bitch."

"Skank."

We head out to follow Derek and when we get there he's changing Nate's diaper.

"Case, that wasn't Brook. It was Nate."

Well, at least _someone_ was crying. 'Cause I totally made that up.

I walk over to him and place a hand on his arm. "You're so good at this."

He looks at me strangely and then his face smoothes over. "Yeah? You think so."

"I know so." I look over at Trisha sweetly and then back. And, cup his face with my hand. "I'm _so_ glad you're their _father_."

He looks at me with this look I've never seen him give me before ever in his life. And this may be a game, but I'm so lost in his eyes right now.

And then… AND THEN!!!!

We hear,

"Um, well, um, Derek, I'm… well, you know… I'm just gonna come right out and say it! Because I might get to scared later and... Well,"

Derek gives her an annoyed look. "Then say it!"

"Okay," She looks around the room and then goes, "I'm pregnant!"

OH. MY. GOD.

I drop my hand from his cheek. And we both just sit there – I kid you not – for 10 minutes just _staring_ at her. Is she serious right now? Seriously? They weren't being _careful_, at all! Had he learned nothing!

And then, I'm angry. Because this is supposed to be something me and Derek share. Not Trisha and Derek. And it's only been FOUR months. Oh. My. God.

And then, I punch Derek really hard in the upper arm. Well, it must've been really hard 'cause he said ow. And storm into his bathroom.

Which is where I am now.

Sitting here. In complete disbelief.

COMPLETE.

* * *

**Don't kill me. **

**But, you can Review.**

**Laura :D**


	11. These Jimmy Choos

**A lot of this chapter refers to chapter 4. And, a little bit of chapter 1. Just in case you forgot what happened there, feel free to go back and read it again. Review u hadn't. haha. Okay, i don't know why. But, i've just been hit with this like gust of inspiration. I mean, i wrote chapter 11 as soon as i was done with chapter 10. It was like i couldn't stop. I wanted to put out this one too. But, i decided to wait a bit. Let you guys read the other one first. So, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life WIthDerek, Olive Garden, or Red Lobster. I just mentioned them. **

* * *

February 22, 2010: Really Late: Bedroom

Oh, my God! I've just had such a rough day. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up for a long long time. Except as soon as I lay down one of the Trips will cry and I'll just have to wake up, regardless. So, really there's no point. I am destined to die. Alone.

Okay, so, I'm locked in the bathroom, right?

And outside I can hear crying and loud talking, and CONFUSION. Oh, wait, that last part is just ME. Like what the hell, right? So, I whip out my cell phone and call Sam.

He answers. "Yeah?"

"Oh, my God, Sam! Oh. My. God!" I freak. "Oh, my God!"

"Whoa, calm down there."

"I can't calm down. I _won't_ calm down. What I just went through does _not_ call for calming down!!"

"Aren't you supposed to be at The Tavern in less than," He must of just checked his watch. "20 minutes?"

"Yes." I breathe out. "But, you are never going to believe what just happened!"

"What?"

"Trisha's PREGNANT!!!"

"What!" He screeches into the phone. So, I fill him in on everything that happened since I walked through the door.

And then, he goes all nonchalantly. "Pft! She's lying!"

"What! No, she isn't. She was so serious." But, as I'm saying it, I start doubting my eyes. "I mean, why would anyone lie about something like that?"

Sam pauses. "Do you know who we're talking about?"

"Oh, damn," I cover my eyes with my hand. "She _is_ lying."

"Yes," And then, he says. "She just wants to secure Derek in their relationship! Make sure he doesn't stray. I've seen tons of movies where girls will lie about being pregnant so the guy will marry 'em. It's a classic bitch move."

Then, I'm nodding my head. "Yeah. Maybe you're right. But, even if she _is_ lying, there are other ways to get pregnant."

"Case," He starts calmly. "Trisha's not that smart."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door so I whisper, "Sam, lemme call you right back."

"Don't forget about your date." He reminded.

"Won't." And then I hung up.

The person who knocked walks through the door. It's Derek.

He walks in and just stares at me - I'm sitting on the counter and half my butt's in the sink, with my legs pulled up and my chin resting on my knees.

I shake my head at him. "Well, someone's quite the manwhore."

"I'm sorry." Derek starts. "I don't know how this happened. I mean, we didn't plan on… I've been _extremely_ careful."

"She's pregnant, huh?" I keep shaking my head at him. "_Great_. That's great. _Real_ great."

"You think I'm excited about this! You think I'm happy I have another mouth to feed, not even five months after my first three. I'm petrified." He screams out. "Casey, she said she doesn't know how it happened either. We are both _really_ sorry."

He actually looks like a kicked dog. Well, dog, prepare for an ass-whoopin'.

"So, what? You're just gonna forget about the Trips? Start in on your new family? Leave us in the dirt?" My eyes start watering. "What are you gonna do, Derek?"

"Case, no. I would never leave you to take of the Trips by yourself. Never."

"Derek," He comes closer. I don't know why, it just makes me want to kick him more. "I asked for one thing. _One_. And, I don't even care if you don't want me anymore. That's fine. But, you promised me you wouldn't reject our babies. You _promised_."

His hands are cupping my face now and my tears – see, crying, again – are spilling over his hands. "Case, I know. And, I'm not going to."

"Why wouldn't you, though?" My voice gets louder. "You can have a happy family with your wife and your new baby! Why bother with us?"

"Because, Casey," His hands get really tight, and his voice drops really low. "'Cause it's _our_ baby. Me and You. And, that's what makes _them_ special to _me_. I love them more than anything else in this world."

I push him away, disgusted. "You _know_ she's not pregnant."

"What are you talking about?" Derek questioned. "Why would you say something like that? Why would she _want_ to be pregnant? She'd have to be off work for months. Not to mention the recovery period to get back down to her normal size." He looks disgusted at me.

"She's lying!" I scream at him.

"I don't think she is." I give him this insane crazy look. "I mean, it makes sense that's she's pregnant, she's been acting _way_ bitchy lately."

"Derek," I go really slowly like I'm talking to a slow person. "She's. A. Biiitch!"

He rolls his eyes. "Stop. Just chill out."

I yell out in disbelief. "If you can't handle the fact that your future wife's a bitch, maybe you should've thought of that before you dumped the best thing that ever happened to you on her ass!" It's official. I have mouth diarrhea. But, he just rolls his eyes as if he thinks I'm just kidding around.

He scoffs and goes, "Don't you have a date, or something?"

I squint my eyes at him and throw open the door to the bathroom and slam it shut.

On my way out I see Trisha leaning against the couch smirking and I spat at her as I pass. "You're _not_ pregnant."

"I'll _get_ pregnant." She spats back.

"Hope you don't get _fat_!" I spit back.

"Well, it's a good thing my husbands rich. I"ll just get Lypo." And then she smiles, licking her teeth. "It's on bitch."

I purse my lips at her. I'm the bitch in this situation! Me? Really? I give each Trip a kiss before I leave.

**

I arrive at The Tavern five minutes late.

I see a guy sitting by himself, looking at his watch, and I assume that's him. God, this is ridiculous. I am so not in the mood to be communicative, right now. I so just want to crawl in bed and die. Gosh! I have to pretend to be normal, too!

Curse Sam and Emily.

I go up to him and hold out my hand. "You're Jaden Jenkins, right?"

He looks up and smiles. "Yeah. Casey McDonald?"

I take one look at his face and forget how to shake hands. My mind just goes completely blank. Oh, my goodness. This guy is smokin'! Why didn't Emily mention this, before hand?

"Casey?" He looks at me really concerned like.

Aww!! And, he cares for my well-being!! This guy is like perfect. Perfect enough to help me get over Derek!

"Sorry," I shake my head and sit in the seat across from him. "Yeah. Hi!"

He said. "I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of ordering for you. I just know how long this place takes and well, they're always busy. I didn't want you to be starving."

Hmm. Ordering for me? Well, almost perfect.

He senses my hesitation and adds, "Mad?"

"Well, that depends," I raise an eyebrow.

One side of his mouth curves up. "On what?"

I fold my arms to look tough. "On what you ordered."

He laughs. LAUGHS! Like it's actually funny!

"I got you the grilled chicken salad. It's amazing here. I held off on the cheese though because sometimes they put so much on there that the salad looks orange! With a side of these bread sticks they have. They're real good." He folds his hands on the table. "It's like Olive Garden meets Red Lobster. An interesting combination."

I want to be mad. I really do. I mean, the feminist in me wants to yell at him that I can order for myself, but, the romantic in me is like, "Awww! He's so cute!"

"That sounds good." I purse my lips. "How do you know so much about this place?"

"Oh, well that's easy." He leans back in his chair. "My dad owns it."

"Oh." I look around the room. Searching for something to talk about, when he goes,

"So, Casey, tell me about yourself. Your family?"

"Umm," I said, trying to avert from that specific topic. "Let's talk about _you_."

And, Oh my God! This guy is so sweet.

He's 27 and he works at some really legit law firm in Toronto, he took a year off before college to go to the Peace Corps – I know, right!! The PEACE CORPS – he has one sibling – sister, younger – and he spends his free time going to orphanages and handing out toys!!!

He is _so_sweet. And, obviously he loves kids! Which is an added bonus. Forget Derek! I'm ridin' the Jaden train now!

And he claims he hates celebrity gossip and the paparazzi because they are always in people's personal space. So, he said, "I try to stay away from magazines that have anything to do with that."

So, he doesn't know about me and Derek. Because, this morning I definitely saw a magazine with Derek, Me and Nate on the cover. Something tells me he did NOT see it. But, he did say that he liked hockey. But, he didn't say he loved it. And, those, my friend, are two VERY different words. They can mean everything.

For instance, I _love_Derek. As in, wants to be with him forever. Wants to marry him. However, Derek _likes_ me. As in, likes me as the mother of his child. Because I'm good with kids. That's about it. It's a tragic story, really.

Oh, and I _hate_ Trisha. That has nothing to do with anything I just thought I'd add that. And, while we're on the Trisha subject I really want to hate her baby too, except it will probably be gorgeous seeing as how Trisha is a supermodel and Derek is well… Derek. Not that she's even pregnant.

Anyways,

"I know I shouldn't bring this up." Jaden says. "But, in high school, I was a real keener."

!!!

We are like a match made in heaven, or something.

Or something.

And he's really funny. He made me forget all about Trish the Bitch, well almost. I haven't had such a good time with no worries, no problems, in SUCH a long time.

But, anyways, he was really nice and he offered to give me a ride home. When we got to my apartment he walks me up to my door. I hope he's not planning on coming in. Because I am _off_ sex. For like EVER.

We get to my door and encounter that whole awkward, 'do we kiss?' thing. But, not to worry, for, he pins me against my door, with his hands on either side of my waist, and I close my eyes and he whispers,

"I'm _not_ gonna kiss you."

My eyes flutter open. "You're not?"

"No."

I know my face has turned into a frown, but I couldn't help it. Why didn't he want to kiss me!

"No?" I fold my arms against my chest and my elbows bump into his chest. THAT'S how close he was to me.

"No," And then he brings one side of his mouth upwards. "Because I want you to want me to kiss you."

I glare at him annoyed. Some guys have such a power trip. "I _want_ you to kiss me."

"No, no no." He laughs. "I want you to _long_ for it. And, if you do, then you'll be so impatient, you'll just _have_ to go on another date with me."

"Really?" I laugh. "You planned this."

"Absolutely. The moment you introduced yourself to me."

I smiled. Geez, he's making me feel like some love-struck teenager. "I promise that if you kiss me, I will still go on another date with you."

"Yeah?" He leans down closer to my face.

I breathe out. "Definitely."

His lips come within centimeters of mine. "Promise?"

"Absolutely."

He brings his lips a little farther away. "No dice."

"Get over here!" I grab his head and bring it down to mine and kiss him.

And, it was a good kiss. It was. I mean, there wasn't any frickin' fireworks, but there definitely wasn't any guilt!

And then,

"Ahem!" We turned our heads to the left and who's standing there looking all angry-like? Derek. Derek is standing there holding the Trips the same way I had this morning, with a clenched jaw. "Am I interrupting anything?"

He has this really hard, angry look on his face. Almost like – I don't know – like he was going to punch somebody in the face. My guess, was Jaden.

I quickly straighten up and push Jaden back.

Dammit! I hadn't told him about my kids. I didn't know if that was something you tell someone on the first date.

"Um, Jaden," I look around everywhere, refusing to meet his eyes. Pointing with my head, I go, "That's Derek Venturi and _those_ are my kids."

"Kids?" I finally look up and his eyes widen. "All three of them?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "They're triplets."

Jaden sucks in his cheeks and just stares.

And, I'm thinking he's just staring at my kids in disbelief. I mean, it is a little crazy. I am only 22. But, I'll be 23 in two months. That has to count for something. But, then I realize he's not staring at the Trips at all. He's staring at Derek. And, Derek, is staring – glaring – right back.

"Derek Venturi?" He whispers. "Derek Venturi, Derek Venturi. I _know_ that name."

I close my eyes. "Yeah, he plays for the Maple Leafs."

And, then he goes, "Yes! Derek Venturi! Center for the Maple Leafs." Then he turns to me. "You guys used to date?"

"Yeah," But, that was Derek who answered, in a really stern voice. "And we have kids."

I shoot him a look and he adds, "Three. Tres. More than one."

"Der-ek!" I'm sure I'm blushing. I'm probably as red as a tomato right now. "I think he gets it!"

"Well, I'm just gonna… you know… go," He bends down and kisses my cheek. "I'll call you?"

I nod. And, then he leaves.

Derek's eyes turn to bore into mine. "Well, he seems nice."

"Derek, you are _such_ an asshole!" I turn my key into the door and walk inside. "You couldn't keep them for one night?"

"Sorry, Princess," He sets the seats down. "I had to go to the store and get Trisha some firecracker Popsicles. And, I have practice really early in the morning tomorrow, 'cause you know, I made the playoffs, and everything. And unless you wanted _Trisha_ to watch them,"

"Fine." He was absolutely right to bring them over. But, he could've waited 'till Jaden was gone.

I went to go grab a bottle of water. I turn around and he's glaring at me. I really need him to leave before I start crying uncontrollably.

"What?"

"I don't like him." I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"Sorry, Derek," I said. "But, you don't have to like him."

"Uh, yeah, I do." He steps closer to me and says. "I have a say in who might become my kids future step-dad. I mean, look at him, with his khakis and his buttoned up shirt and clean hair cut. He looked like he stepped out of a J. Crew catalog."

"Maybe that's how I like my men." I challenge.

"You don't." He rolls his eyes at me. "I don't like him. And you're not dating him, got it?"

"Derek, you cannot control me. You're getting married, remember? And you're fiancé's _pregnant_."

As soon as I said that he backed away and a frown returned to his face. He started heading towards the door, and I don't know why – okay, maybe I do. He seemed really upset about me dating Jaden, and that was all part of the plan – so I said,

"Derek, please. Don't worry. I don't think he's into me. We're probably not gonna go out again."

"Yeah," He stops. "Why not? He said he'd call you."

"Yeah." My vision got a little blurry, and I shake my head. "But, he didn't even ask for my number, so..."

"Ah, Case," He starts walking back over.

"Stop, okay?" I down like 2 pints of my water bottle. "He had to find out about the Trips sooner or later, it's best to know how he really feels before I get attached."

He looks at me and then goes. "But, you're already attached."

I nod my head, trying to say as less words as possible to refrain from speaking like I was about to cry. "Yeah, well, stupid me! I _really_ wanted this to work." So, that I could get over you. But, I didn't add that part.

Derek gets that look he gets, you know, the one when he's deciding 'should I run or should I stay and comfort her'. Because Derek Venturi doesn't _do_ tears, but it sure seems like he's been doing them a lot for me. I should stop before I make myself feel too special.

"You can leave, Derek. I'm used to rejection. I handle it better on my own."

He gets this look on his face – pity? – and asks, "Need some ice cream?"

I know he said it to release the tension. But, I don't feel like laughing. So instead I whisper so quietly I'm not even entirely sure he heard me,

"I just need for you to go." He looks at me with sad eyes. "Go take care of your pregnant fiance."

He nods and walks back over to the door. He opens it gives me one more look and leaves.

MY. LIFE. SUCKS.

**

February 24, 2010: Apartment

Since yesterday was full of self-wavering pity we're just not going to comment on it, okay?

Okay.

So, I brought Sam with me. We are officially going daycare hunting.

I will not live another day with Trish the Bitch having one over on me. I _will_ get a job. And, I _will_ pay for my own rent. Eventually.

Sam bangs his head against the dashboard. "Case, you can't give up on the mission."

I roll my eyes at him and turn left. "Yeah, I can."

"Uh, no. An agent never turns his back on a mission." I mean, how many drinks has he had today? I mean, it's only noon. But, it's happy hour somewhere. I mean, agents?

"Well, consider my back turned."

"Fine." He said. "But, you'll never know what step two is."

"That is fine with me."

It is silent in the car – well, minus the random noises the Trips are always making – for about 15 minutes.

I mean, obviously, step one didn't work. All it did was make me feel even more heart broken and more alone. What makes me think step two will work? Nothing. Nothing does. Except…

He did get a _little_ jealous. But, that's normal. I mean, I used to – not anymore – get a little jealous when Sam had girlfriends. But, that's just because he would spend less time with me.

"Okay, fine," I cry out. "What's step two?"

"No." Sam says defiantly. "You don't want to know."

"I do though. I really do." I insist.

Sam looked at me like I was crazy. "You turned your back on the mission. I can't even look at you right now!" He turns his head towards the window.

"I was kidding! Tell me the damn step!" I said it so loud one of the Trips started crying, but they stopped. So, I didn't have to pull over.

"Okay," Sam smiles. "Give In to Live In."

I'm confused. "Live in where?"

Sam waves his hands around. "That's beside the point! _You_ are going to pretend to be 100% okay with his marriage. That you actually _believe_Trish the Bitch is really pregnant. Be happy about it. Pretend like Trisha's your best friend. Help her with the wedding plans. Make Derek _think_ you're over him. Derek's ego is too big, he won't be able to handle it. Derek totally called me yesterday and vented for like an hour."

I shake my head. "No. NO! I can't do that. I can't be _nice_ to Trisha."

"You not only _can_, but you _will_."

Gosh, I hate my friends.

**

"HI, Trisha!!!"

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**Tell me, what you think.**

**Review and i will send you all virtual hugs :D**

**Laura**


	12. Takin' them off cuz I feel a fool

**Okay, so this chapter is way shorter than my previous ones. I don't want to say that it's a filler chapter, 'cause it's not. It's just i'm going away for a while and i'm not sure that i have access to a computer. So, i just put up what i had, so far. Sorry if it dissapoints.**

**I really wanted you guys to see Trisha's side. Understand her for a moment. Being that that is insanely hard in first person...**

**Ready for step 2? haha. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

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February 25, 2010: Kitchen

Today was my first official day to put step 2 into action.

And, depending on how you look at it, step 2 either failed or succeeded. Depending on how you look at it.

All I have to say is that sometimes I just want to put duct-tape over my mouth.

I got to tell you, I was really nervous. I mean, Trisha and I do not have the best relationship. In fact, we don't even have a relationship. _That's_, how bad it is.

Anyways, today, well… You'll see for yourself.

So, I knock on their apartment door and Trisha opens it. Her face immediately drops into a frown.

"Oh," She snarls. "It's _you_. Derek's not here. He went out for a sec."

"Well," I say, trying to push through her to get inside the room. "That's okay! I came to see _you_."

She freezes. "Why?"

"Well, if you let me in," I finally push my way through and breathe out in satisfaction. "You were right."

"Of course, I was." Then she folds her arms across her chest. "About what, exactly?"

"We _do _need to spend more time together. Me and You. We need to bond. I mean, you are going to be the Trips st-step-mom. And, that is an important relationship."

I never realized how hard it was to stay that word. I pulled out my water bottle that I kept in my purse for such times as these and gulped it.

"And, I just want to say how completely sorry I am about thinking that you were lying when you said you were pregnant. I apologize for being so inconsiderate."

Trisha's eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "Well," She keeps looking at me like she's trying to read me. Then, she smiles. "We're thinking of moving the wedding up."

And, you know. It's not my fault, honestly. People should _know _not to say stuff like that when someone has their mouth full with water. It's common courtesy. So, really, _she _should be the one apologizing for making _me _spit water all over their really expensive sofa. Not me.

I clear my throat. "Seriously?"

She laughs. She waits for it. And, I'm waiting for it too. Because I _know_ me! I'm supposed to be blowing up right now. I know that there's bound to be an explosion. But… I have to Give in to Live in. So, here goes nothing. I pull on this really tight smile and go, "That's _awe_some!"

"What?" Her face dropped. "You think it's awesome? Me getting married to Derek? Earlier? Because we're having a _baby_."

I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, I can taste the blood. "I think it's… I think it's super!"

Trisha stands there across from me and just stares me down. And, I have totally had my share of stare downs and was totally prepared to kick out the big guns, but then I remembered stupid Sam's voice in my head. So, I stood there with a wacky ass smile on my face. That was about as fake as Trish the Bitch's boobs.

A few minutes later, Derek walks in to find Trisha and I sitting on the sofa looking at wedding dresses on her laptop. As soon as he sees us he freezes. We look up at him and I smile.

"Hey, D!"

His eyes flicker from me, to Trisha, and then back to me, and then back to Trisha. And then he goes all worriedly. "Did somebody die?"

"No, no, no." I laugh. "Don't worry. We're just looking at wedding dresses since your moving up the wedding, and everything."

Derek looks at me skeptically and then walks over slowly to the sofa we're sitting on and looks at the screen. I don't know what he was expecting to see, but it obviously wasn't what he expected because his face still had that confused look on it.

"Where're the Trips?" He grabs the remote for the TV.

"Daycare."

Trisha and Derek's head whip up and look at me. I give them a look like, 'what?' and they just continue to stare.

Trisha stutters. "But-but, what about… about that whole waiting 'till they were six months thing?"

"Well, yeah," I shrugged. "That would be ideal. But, ha, obviously this isn't the most ideal situation. And, plus, my dad sent me some money which is enough to put the kids in daycare and for me to start taking a couple night courses."

They look at me totally deer-in-the-headlights like. I continue, "Well, I figured he might as well start helping now, so… I hope you don't mind. It's just so that I can get a job and start earning some money." I place my hand on Trisha's and give her this sickenly sweet smile.

"I hope you don't mind Derek paying for my rent for a couple more months." I shiver. "You have no _idea _how much I _hate_ being incompetent."

Trisha nods - still confused, I could tell. As is Derek, by the way. I hope this stage is supposed to go this way. I hope they don't think I'm accepting it and moving on. 'Cause I'm not. It's just pretend! Maybe I should step it up a bit.

"Anyways," I point at the screen to a certain dress. It's baggy-ish, not the cutest selection in the bunch, but it's not entirely ugly. I mean, _I _wouldn't wear it. "I think you should try this one. It's not the best, but, I mean, it looks like it'll hide the bump _really_ well."

"Bump?" Trisha turns her head to me and then to Derek. And, then back at me. "What bump?"

"I mean, it's different for different people. I mean, I had a pretty profound bump at four months. But, it did turn out I was carrying triplets, so," I laughed and Derek joined in. Trisha's face just held one of fear. Just the way I liked it. "I mean, you'll definitely have a bump. Just not a big one."

Trisha's eyes started darting across the room. She looked so scared. She was probably trying to figure out how she was going to explain her non-bumpage. I, however, found this situation particularly funny.

And, I was in no way done. I had just started. I was being – sorta, kinda – vicious.

"On the bright side, hon," I wrapped my arm around hers, standing her up. "I totally can lend you all my maternity outfits."

I spin her around and she just looks so freaked out. I nod. "Yep, you already look like your gaining some weight around the waist area."

"What!" She starts feeling her stomach area and I am like _dying_ inside. No joke. "You think? I-I-I have a shoot on Monday."

I make a face. "Might wanna re-think that."

She walks – okay, runs - over to the mirror that's hanging across the wall and holds her shirt up. Her eyes look crazy scary, and she's pinching and poking. I'm telling you, it is taking all my energy to not burst into hysterics.

"Derek!" His head swivels away from the TV at her tone. She rushes out, almost in tears. "Am I getting fat?"

Derek's face twists up in confusion. As if it literally pains him to be here now. "Isn't that what's supposed to happen? I mean," He looks over at me with worried eyes and I just shrug. "You're pregnant."

Tears spill out of the corners of her eyes and she screeches. "I am NOT pregnant!"

Checkmate.

The tears are just pouring out of her eyes like a frickin' waterfall. She's just crying and crying and pinching her non-existent flab.

Derek's face is expressionless. "What?"

"I'm not pregnant!" She screams again "Apparently, I'm just FAT!"

I look at them. They are just standing there staring at each other in totally disbelief. Derek, because he can't believe she lied. Trisha, because Derek pretty much called her fat.

"Aaand, _that's_ my cue to leave." I say to, well, really, no one.

And I slide out the door and do a little victory dance. Ahhh! The smell of sweet success. There really is nothing better than that. There is NO way Derek is with Trisha now. None. I get to my car and realize I don't have my keys. I don't have my keys, because my keys are in my purse. Which is upstairs. I head back to their apartment and slowly open the door.

"Sorry, forgot my-" But, the couldn't hear me because they were too busy yelling at each other.

"-what level of _bitch_ do you have to _reach_ to be able to pull off a stunt like that?" Derek yells.

Trisha looks extremely hurt – like he stabbed a knife right through her heart. Which makes me think, 'please, you've never been called that before? Doesn't it lose it's effect after the 3rd or 500th time? I call you that all the time.'

"Bitch? Me? _You're_ the one who is _pawning_ after your _step-sister_ while you're _engaged_ to me!"

Derek rolls his eyes. "I'm not pawning-"

"Yes, you are." She slams her hand down on the table. Hard. "Yes, you are!"

He gives her a look like you-are-so-incredibly-stupid-why-am-I-wasting-my-time and walks away. She runs over and grabs his arm to stop him. "Don't you walk away from me." She looks in his eyes. "You're in love with this girl. You're in love with her! And, you know what the sad thing is? I _know_ it, and yet, I'm _still_ in love with you! And… and I don't know what to do anymore!"

She is now crying to the point where snot is flinging out of her nose, really ugly crying. And, I can't help but feel sort of bad for her.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Derek. Because I have played _all_ my cards. All of them. I don't have anything left. I can't think of anything else!" Trisha sniffs up and wipes her face with her shirt. "I don't want to lose you. But, I'm… I'm not entirely sure that… that I ever _had_ you."

Throughout this entire speech-thingy Derek had been extremely quiet. His face looked torn as if he knew he had done something wrong. He grabbed her face between his hands and goes, "I'm sorry. I don't know… We got off track somewhere."

"Yeah, that's an understatement." She sighed, pulling away from his grasp. She sat down on the counter and looked at the wall.

"But, don't doubt that you ever had me. You had me. You _have_ me."

Trisha huffs. "Save it, Derek."

"Do you think," Derek came to sit next to her on the counter. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?"

Whoa! Is he saying that he loves me? Oh, my gosh! Derek loves me? This conversation is too private for my innocent ears!

Trisha turns to look at him, tears spilling over her eyelids and quietly whispers, "No." She wiped her face again and says, shaking her head, "I think you only love _one_ person."

Derek grabs her hand. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I don't know." She leans her head on his shoulder. "But, you really don't think I'm fat, do you?"

I need to get out of here, before they notice I'm still here. I silently grab my purse and walk out the door. Oh, my goodness. I feel terrible. Did I just break them up? I feel terrible. But, wasn't that the plan. Break Trisha and Derek up? Why do I feel so damn guilty? And, why do I feel like Trisha's broken heart is all _my_ fault?

And, isn't that like against the code? The girl code? To purposely hurt another woman. I am a terrible person. Trisha's not a bitch at all; she's just… in love.

Hold on. Someone's knocking at the door.

It's Derek.

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**Hope you liked it. I thought the beginning part was kind of funny. :P **

**Review,**

**Laura **


	13. Tryin' to Dress up When I'm missin' you

**Hey! Ended up only stayin the weekend. :D It was great. Had lots of fun anywayz. Good news is i was all refreshed and stuff so i hit up the computer as soon as i got back, (haha thnx to dasey1727) anyways, this chapter doesnt start or end on a happy note and i'm really sorry about that. It was supposed to be hooked up with last chapter. So, technically it wulda been one longass chapter u wulda been thankin me for, but watevs. **

**Hope u all enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Life WIth Derek**

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February 25, 2010: Bedroom: Really Late

Yeah… I'm just gonna jump right into it.

So, I open the door and Derek's standing there looking as nervous as hell with his hands tucked in his pocket and his hair a complete chaotic mess. And, I just _knew_.

I just knew this was _the_ moment. You know, the moment he was going to tell me he loved me, that he couldn't live without me. That he was leaving Trisha for me. That he wanted to be a real family with me and the kids. That maybe he would even propose. I just _knew_ it.

"Derek," I said real softly, pushing my hair out of my face, wiping the corners of my mouth – incase of food crumbs, trying to look smashing in my very un-smashing state. "What are you… what are you doing here?"

He pushes past me and into the apartment. "I just wanted to say goodbye to the Trips before I leave for Detroit."

Wait. I'm confused. He's not here to admit to his undying love for me? So I answer,

"They're in the nursery." I point with my thumb to the nursery. But, you know, I figured he just used that as an excuse, a reason to be over here. But, he TOTALLY started heading back towards their room. I am SO confused. "Uh, Derek,"

He halts, turns around, and spits out. "What?"

I shake my head in confusion at his tone. Like, what the hell?

"Are you okay? I mean, it seemed pretty heated when I left. What happened?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, well. I don't know. Things are complicated right now."

"What's so complicated?" I raised my voice. I was actually getting really mad. "She lied!"

He nods, but he has this really guilty look on his face.

I add in a really calm - well, that's what I was shooting for - tone, "Not some white lie either, Derek."

"Could you hold off on the I-told-you-so's."

"NO!" I shake my head stubbornly. "I told you this would happen."

He turns his head toward the wall in embarrassment.

"Don't tell me you guys are still together!"

"I don't know!" He yells back. "I don't know what we are! I know we're not _not-_together."

I screamed and he looked at me like I was crazy. "Are you kidding me? You guys don't even belong together. She's… and You're… Does the phrase toothpaste and orange juice, mean anything to you?"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Despite popular opinion – AKA _yours_ – I _do_ love Trisha." He mumbled something after that that sounded really close to "I think" but I was to caught up in the whole I love Trisha thing goin' on.

I froze. I sucked in my cheeks and clenched my jaw. "Is that so?"

Despite him leaving me, and him dating Trisha, and then him getting engaged to Trisha, and then Trisha being all "pregnant" and everything, I never once heard him say he loved her. Not once. And, I guess, I always just assumed that he didn't. Love her, I mean. So, this expression of his feelings for Trisha were… well, it hurt.

"Of course, I love her. I was gonna marry her." He scrunches up his eyebrows. "I don't know… I'm Derek Venturi. I don't talk about my feelings. I don't talk about why I do things. I just do things."

I nod – extremely pissed off, tears forming in my eyes. "So, it wasn't just to get back at me for what I said?" And I added, deciding 'hey, I already made myself extremely vulnerable, might as well go for it, "You really aren't in love with me anymore?"

I mean, what about the stuff I heard earlier? Are they just pretending that never happened? 'Cause I saw it, they might not know it, but I did.

I asked. "Who the hell do you want Derek?"

Derek visibly stiffened and he didn't say anything.

Oh, so, it was like that. That pause was enough.

I sucked in my cheeks again, and I felt the heat fill my face. "Right. Well," I push him towards the nursery – trying - and failing - to be confident. "Say goodbye to the Trips, and get out."

Derek sighed, rubbing at his shoulder. "Casey,"

"No, I mean it, Derek." Tears spilling out my eyes as I back away, towards my room. "Get. Out. And, while you're at it, get out of my life!"

"Casey, calm down." Derek steps toward me and I push him away from me again. Hard.

"No. I _hate_ it when people tell me to calm down. It makes me really tense!"

And then, I slam the door.

And, that's how I ended up here. Alone. Totally confused and _completely_ heart-broken.

**

February 26, 2010: Nursery

Okay, so right now I'm holding Nate in my arms, because, quite frankly, he's the only one that can comfort me in my fragile state.

After crying myself to sleep last night, I woke up to some incessant knocking on the back door. At first, I figured it would go away. Then, it kept going, so, I knew it had to be Derek. Obviously, he felt terrible about the way he ended things last night and missed his flight. As he should. I was going to let him suffer until I heard one of the Trips start crying. Oh, geez. I dragged myself out of bed, threw on a robe, and marched out to the living room.

I threw open the door and froze.

"Um… um… um…"

"You gonna let me in, or what?" Trisha stood there annoyed.

She raised an eyebrow at me, looking, of course, lovely. Even with her winter coat on.

"Yeah, sure," I opened the door wider. "Come on in."

She brushes past me and takes off her coat. She stands there holding it out for a moment giving me this look.

"Oh!" I grab her coat and hang it up in the coat closet. I mean, what, am I your bitch?

"Listen, Casey," She strips off her gloves and walks over to the sofa and sits down. "We need to talk."

"Yeah, just hold that thought." I walk into the nursery grab the baby that's crying – Nate – and walked back out into the room Trisha was in. "Okay, so, what?"

"We need to talk."

I said. "About?"

"Pom-poms." She rolled her eyes. "What do you think we need to talk about!"

I frowned. Di-va.

"Listen, a lot of things went down yesterday. A lot of drama. And, well, me and Derek… Derek…" She drifts off, and her eyes looked everywhere but mine. Regardless, I could still see them watering. "Derek, has some thinking to do. He's obviously… confused."

"Confused?" I scrunch my face, reaching into the diaper bag next to me and pulling out baby food. "Doubt it."

Her eyes flash to mine. "What do you mean?"

"I think he's already decided who he wants. And, I think," I feed Nate a cup of apple sauce, and finished softly. "It's not me."

Trisha looked stunned. "It's not? And, you're so sure because…"

"Because Trisha!" My voice suddenly got really loud, making the motions with my hands. "I just _know_. I know Derek a little better than you do, okay?"

Trisha shoots up, scaring me -slightly, "No, not okay!"

I look at her scared, because her angry laugh is really frightening.

"It's not okay! That's the _whole _frickin' problem here, Casey."

"What problem?" I shove - and then apologize - another spoonful into Nate's mouth.

"You! _You _are my problem. You have _always _been my problem!" Her eyes are wild, and if they could be red, they would be. She's so pissed, and I haven't the slightest clue why.

I set down Nate on his tummy, and turn rapidly at Trisha. Who does she think she is? I have done nothing to her. NOTHING.

"Ex-_cuse _me?"

"Don't play dumb, Casey. You know Derek centers his world around you!" She points her finger at me accusingly. "You know it! You. Bank. On it. Casey."

And, the way she says the word 'Casey' really makes me feel like I'm a wretched person. And, I STILL have no idea what I've done. In fact, the way she said that whole sentence made me want to crawl in a tiny hole and die.

"Trisha, I have-"

"Casey, save it." She shakes her head at me. "Save it for someone who actually believes it."

I stand there quietly, with my hands on my hips, because I don't know what else to say. Is there anything else to say?

"You _ripped _Derek right from underneath my nose. You stole him from me." I really wanted to tell her what went down last night, but she's not giving me a chance. She continues with a hand over her chest like she's about to have a heart-attack. "You may pretend you don't want him, but you do. You always have. Just like he always has. I mean, what kind of woman takes another woman's fiancé away from her?" She lets out a small sob. "I mean, I've done some pretty low things in my time, but I've _never _taken a guy away from another girl! I mean, what kind of murderer of love are you?"

She's pacing in front of me. A really-close-to-hyperventilating me.

I'm not a murderer of love. I mean, I used to be the _definition _of love. I used to be kind hearted and un-selfish, giving… I used to fall for guys all the time - for example Sam, Max, Noel, Truman. And as many times as I've had my heart broken I never gave up on love. Who did I become? Some scheming self-centered monster?

And, just like usual she has succeeded in making me feel small and unimportant and self-centered and stupid. I am a _wretched _person who deserves to go to hell for the rest of eternity.

All I know is, first thing tomorrow morning I'm going straight to Sam and Emily and dragging their asses to church. We need to repent.

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**ha. sry not about the chap, cuz it was kinda sad. the last line always gets me. Okay, review b.c well, i cnt think of anything catchy to say, so how bout u just review for good times sake?**

**Laura :D**


	14. Imma Step Outta This Lingerie

**Hey. So, a lot of this chapter refers to chapter 6. So if u forgot what happened in that, you can go ahead and read that again. Hey, so this was super fast, so you're welcome. **

**Aaand, there's a DASEY moment, to make up for all the sadness. **

**Enjoy!**

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October 21, 2010: Home (You know, the one in London) Trips' Birthday Party in t-1 hour

Yeah, so I know what you're thinking. 'There's no way. There is _no_ way you haven't written in your diary for eight WHOLE months. There is just _no_ way. There is also NO way that Casey McDonald has not _seen_ Derek Venturi in said eight months. You know Derek Venturi, right? Father of your three children. How is that even possible?'

Well, let me tell you. It is _very_ possible. In fact, Miss Zee's Buzzing Bees Day Care Center makes that situation insanely possible. I drop off, he picks up. He drops off, I pick up. He hasn't been to my apartment; I haven't been to his. But, I have help, of course. I mean, we've talked a plethora of times on the phone, of course. But, nothing more than the usual.

I mean, I'd be all. "So, Brook's feeling a little feverish I'm going to take her to the doctor."

Then he'd be all. "Need me to come?"

I – obviously – would say, "No, I don't. I'm perfectly capable of doing it by myself. Back off!"

"Of course, you are, Casey." And then, he would ask, "Want me to come over and watch Nate and Sammy?"

To which I would roll my eyes and reply, "No. Sam's got it."

OR

"Hey, it's your birthday tomorrow, right? Lemme take you out. I'm sure I could find a sitter."

I'd go, "No thanks, Derek."

He'd scoff. "Plans?"

"Yes!" And I'd hang up the phone.

So, you see, all in all, it is very simple to avoid someone. Even if that someone is your kids' father.

Well, it _was_ simple.

Simple until the Trips 1st birthday rolled around. And, I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't give the Trips their first birthday party on their first birthday? A pretty cruel one. Anyways, Emily and I planned the whole party. And, again. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't invite the father? A pretty cruel one. So, he's invited.

So, I'll be seeing him. For the first time. Since, well, the last time I wrote in this thing. Which has me thinking.

I started writing in this thing because of Derek, and then, when I'm not talking to Derek suddenly I feel no need to write in you. I don't know. But, I don't know anything. All I know is I'll be seeing Derek again.

And, well, I want to pull my hair out.

But, you know, it will be weird. Because we never talked about how ALL the magazines are saying we're together. That him and Trisha didn't get married because of me. – Which is sadly true. But, I didn't know about their non-wedding-ness until Lizzie called and told me. - Which is like _impossible_, because there can't be any pictures of us together. Because we haven't been together in eight months. But, technology these days can put you ANYWHERE. And, I mean, anywhere.

Edwin just walked in.

I look up. "Edwin!"

I hadn't known he was coming. They were in college now. He ended up going to Queen's. Lizzie ended up going to Princeton in the States. I was so jealous – I didn't get in to that a couple years ago. And, we were all proud of them and stuff. But, I didn't expect to see him down here.

"Um, well, I don't know how to tell you this, but," Edwin starts. "When you moved out this sorta became my room."

"Ahh! Eddie!!" I jump up off 'his' bed and gave him this huge hug. And, of course, since none of Derek's terrible traits rubbed off on Edwin he returned.

But, he did quickly pull away, saying, "You know, despite being in college now, people _still_ don't call me Eddie."

"Sorry got carried away." I smiled this huge smile, rubbing his arm. "Sooo, how's college? You look real collegiate."

He smiled back, popping out his collar. "Feel it, too."

"That's good! Girlfriend?"

He rolls his eyes. "Course, Casey."

"So, no."

He scoffs and quickly changes the subject. "So, you've been a mom for a whole year, now. Feel old yet?"

I stick out my tongue at him, grab his hand, and lead us down the stairs.

"Let's go. Party should be starting soon."

October 21, 2010: Bathroom

Oh, God. I have so much to tell you.

So,

We're all downstairs and playing with the Trips. I mean, everyone's here. Sam, Emily, Mom, George, Abby, Edwin, _Ralph_. But, you know who's not here? Derek Venturi.

And, you know, at first I was like: 'Good. I don't want him here. The longer he stays away, the less we'll have to do that whole confrontation thing.'

But, then it became: 'How dare Derek not show up to his own kids' birthday party! How dare he!'

But, as soon as we brought out the cake and started singing the Happy Birthday song Derek ran right into the room, bursting through the door, dropping all his presents on the ground.

"Sorry. Sorry. Start over! Traffic is a _bitch_ out there." He screeches, looking absolutely gorgeous. Wait, did I just say that?

"Derek!" Abby scolded. "Language."

Brook who is at this really weird walking stage – she wobbled it was so cute – looked up, saw him, and smiled this huge smile. "Da Da! Da Da!"

"Ay! Miss Brooklyn!" He picks her up and blows on her tummy and I turn away. I refuse to believe she loves him more than me – although it may be true. "How's daddy's favorite girl!!"

"Guh!"

Everyone laughed and coo-ed and I wanted to throw up. I couldn't stand that skirt-chasing cad.

Derek looks at me and goes, "Well, start 'er up again."

Really? Is he really telling me to do something right now? Who does he think he is? Is that really the first thing he's gonna say to me? He hasn't talked to me in MONTHS and the first thing he says to me is 'start 'er up again'? Really?

I roll my eyes and paste on this fake smile and go, "Hap-"

But, I'm interrupted again! The door swings open and Jaden pushes through with an armful of presents also. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait up! I don't wanna miss this!" He walks over to me, after dropping his boxes in the present area, and gives me a quick kiss. "Hey, babe."

Did I forget that I invited Jaden?!? Whoops!

I quietly reply. "Jade,"

Derek's gaze is still on the front door. Somewhere behind me I hear 'this is gonna be good'. Sam, probably. It gets really quiet as Derek slowly turns his body toward us. His eyes flicker to Jaden and then to me, and then back to Jaden, and then back at me.

"Are you KIDDING me? Are you fucking shitting me, right now?" Ignoring the stern reprimand from our mothers he steps toward me, gets right up in my space, and goes, "Casey, what the hell is this?"

"Oookaaaay." I hear Sam say, ushering everyone toward the teeny kitchen. "Nothing to see here." He walks up to Derek and grabs Brook out of his arms. "I'll take that." And then to Brook he coos, "Mommy and Daddy are gonna have a little fighty-poo! Yes, they are. Yes, they _are_!"

As soon as everyone's gone I look at Derek and shake my head. "Well, congratulations. 2 minutes and you've already ruined the Trips first birthday." I clap my hands sarcastically. "Well done."

"Casey, what the hell is that douche doing here?" He asks, turning this scary color of red.

I go, "I hope you're not referring to _Jaden_."

He scoffs. "I thought you said things didn't work out? That he wouldn't call you?"

Wow. Does he really remember back that far? It's been like 8 months since I said that.

"Well, apparently he got my number from Emily. So, it all worked out."

"Worked out." He looked at me with this complete look of disbelief. "You with him?"

I swallowed. "Yes,"

He runs a hand through his hair and turns away. "What the hell, Casey, where the hell've you been?"

"I've been right-"

He interrupts saying, "I've been trying to get you to talk to me. I haven't seen you in _eight_ months!"

I fake a stunned face. "_Eight_? Has it been _that_ long?" I place a hand to my cheek. "You were counting?"

What a loser!

Derek blushes – I KNOW! I made _him_ blush! "Casey, I've been trying to tell you. Didn't you hear I broke up with Trisha?"

I can't believe him.

"SO?"

Derek stiffens. "So? I thought you wanted to be together? I thought… you still, I don't know, loved me?"

"Ha!" I cried out, shoving him. "Oh, so now you want to be together? 'Cause it's convenient for you! That's great! Real great!"

He shakes his head. "I don't see what the problem is here."

"Well, let me spell it out for you then," I scream. "Y.O.U."

"Me?" He screeches.

"Yes! You know what you've made me?"

He scoffs. "What, Casey? What?"

"A home-wrecker, Derek." Suddenly I'm whispering and tears are escaping my eyes. "I'm not that kind of a person, Derek. I am not that girl. I refuse to be her."

"What makes you think _you're_ the home-wrecker?"

I paced away from him. "Because, Derek, I _wrecked_ your _home_!"

"Not intentionally."

I freeze. Oh, yeah. He didn't know about all that. About Mission C&D. He didn't know how we had schemed and planned to rip Trisha out of the picture.

"How do you know I didn't set this whole thing up? That I planned that whole thing?"

"Come on, Casey," He says. "You don't do stuff like that."

I raise an eyebrow at him. Does EVERYONE just love making me feel bad??

He lets out this huge breath and asks, "Do you love him?"

"No. But, I will." I assure him. "He loves me. He loves the Trips. And, they love him back. And, I think this is a really good place for me to be in. I mean, with your child support check I can put them in daycare, and I'm taking classes now. And Jade is a lawyer so he can help me out. And, we have SO much in common. And… and… everything is just working out perfectly."

He takes one look at me, purses his lips and calls out, "Bullshit."

"Derek!" I point at him. "I'm serious."

"No, I know you are." He nodded his head. "But, I know that's not what you want. You want a challenge. Always have. You want someone to disagree with you. Call you out on your bullshit. Not a yes-man. You want passion. I can give you that. _Jaden,_ on the other hand, cannot."

I cup my hands over my temples. "Derek, I can't risk you leaving me again!"

"What?" And suddenly he's next to me, pulling my hands down from my face, so he can look into my eyes. "_You_ were the one who said all that stuff about our relationship going nowhere! _You_ were the one who said I wasn't serious enough to be with for real. I think you used the word, _fling_. I was just helping you out."

"Helping me out! Derek, I was _scared_!" I punch him and he moves away from me wincing, because that is the same spot I keep hitting him on and he probably has a bruise.

"Scared? Of what?" He looks confused.

"Of…_everything_! Derek, do you even know me?" I punch him again. "I'm _Casey_ _McDonald_. I freak out over _everything_! I had just heard about you getting signed and I just _knew_ you were gonna leave me. I was scared because I didn't know what was going to happen to us. So, maybe, I _was_ venting about it with Emily on the phone, but I was never expecting you to actually leave. And, then go to _frickin'_ Hawaii and get engaged to a _frickin'_ supermodel like I meant nothing to you at all. I never expected that out of you."

"You meant _everything_ to me, Casey!" He attempted to grab my hand but I pulled away and stepped away from him. "How do you think I felt when you said all that shit about me? Huh? The girl I was in love with was talking shit about me! What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to think?"

I wiped the tears off my face and declared - in denial, I have to admit. "Well, I want to be with Jaden, so,"

"So, we have a problem." I raise my eyebrow.

"Problem?"

"Yeah," He grabs my wrist - hard - and pulls me until I slam against his chest. "Because, _I_ want to be with you." And he kisses me.

And, boy, it was a good kiss. I also didn't realize how much I missed kissing Derek.

He lifts his head up just enough so that he can mumble - against my lips, "And, I want you to want to be with me, too."

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**Okay, so this was mega fast. You HAVE to review, now. **

**Laura :D**


	15. Curl Up In A Ball

**I am so sorry. There are NO words. Like, i can't even explain how close this story was to being on permanent-hiatus mode. I was really going through something, but it's over now - hopefully :D - And, inspiration has struck. So, forgive me. And, i'll try - note i said try - to update a mILLION times quicker than this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek**

* * *

October 21, 2010: Bathroom (continued…)

I stare at him. I mean, what else can I do? The man just professed his love for me in the middle of our kids' first birthday party.

I mean, in a perfect world I would go - insert 16th century accents here - "Derek! I want to be with you more than a proton wants to be with an electron."

"I don't know what that means, but," He would obviously go, "I love you, Casey! Marry me!"

But, you know, this isn't a perfect world. And, I've got to think through all my options. Because sometimes what you want isn't what you need, it's just… what you _want_. And, Derek and I… I don't know. If he could just drop Trisha like that, would he do the same to me? I mean, I know I wanted him to do that the whole time, but, he actually did it.

And, besides. How mucfh did he really want me? He had EIGHT months to confront me. EIGHT. Why'd he wait 'till now? He could have just as easily drive up to my house and talk to me.

"Casey," His grip tightens on my face. "_Stop_ thinking."

I grab his hands and take them off my face. "I can't, Derek. I can't just stop thinking. That's like saying, 'Stop breathing'. What're you even saying?"

"Casey, stop," He's reaching out to me again. "Stop over-analyzing everything! It's not doing any of us any good."

I was going to answer that when another thought popped into my head.

"Derek, if you wanted me so bad, why didn't you come to see me?"

He dropped his arms and frowned. "What?"

I sucked in my cheeks. "Derek."

"I called you, Case. I called you tons of times." His eyes darted around the room.

"And, I answered tons of times. I never once let your phone call go to voice mail. So, clearly, I wasn't the only one avoiding here. _You_ don't want me."

"Casey," He appears really frustrated. His face is all red and he's pointing at me, angrily. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare turn this around on me! You avoided me! I called you."

"And?" I said. "If you really wanted me, you would have made an honeset-to-God _attempt_ to come and see me."

He clenched his jaw and I accused, "I mean, what? Were you thinking about if you really wanted to be with me, or not? What, you weren't sure of me?"

He paused for the slightest second. But, it was enough. I was right.

My hand flew to my mouth, and my eyes watered. "Oh, my God."

"Casey, no," Derek rushes to console. "Of course I wanted to be with you. Casey, don't-don't cry."

I looked up at him, rejection slowly creeping through my body. I turned away from him, towards the kitchen door, trying to contain myself. But, the pain just thumped through my body so loudly I couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Casey!" He walks over to stand in front of me and grabs my shoulders. "Listen to me."

I shrug him off, and whisper, "Don't touch me."

This – if anything – scares him the most. My non-yelling at him, I mean. His face turns pale really quickly and he goes, "Okay! Okay! I thought about it! I admit it. But-"

"I can't be-_lieve_ you! Giving me all this bologna about moving on and you weren't sure you want to be with me!" I squeaked on the last part.

He rolls his eyes and takes a couple steps back from me. "Of course I thought about it."

Does he want to hurt me?

"Just shut up!" I screamed at him.

"No, you listen," He grabbed the top of my arm. "What kind of guy would I be if I hopped right into another relationship the minute my previous one ended? Huh? What kind of guy would I be? Certainly not one good enough for you!"

I didn't say anything. Damn! He got me there.

"So, yes, Casey, I thought about it. Because…" I waited. "I loved Trisha."

I cringed.

"I really did. And, throwing something like that away… I don't know. I just had to think about it, okay? I'm sorry if that bothers you. But, we had good times. She was one of my closest friends. And, I know you only saw her as Trish the Bitch-

Oh, he knew about that. Now, I feel really bad. Like extremely bad. Borderline guilty… but not quite.

"-but I really cared about her. So out of respect for the _both_ of you I gave it a couple of months. I'm sorry."

Like, what do you say after that? Because – honestly – I had no frickin' clue. So, I, you know, went the heart-route. You know, the route where you let your heart do all the talking. Sometimes not a good thing, but you know, I think I'll make an exception this time.

I walked over to him, closing the distance and kissed him. Passionately. But, not that passionately because it only lasted a couple of seconds. It only lasted a couple seconds because someone cleared their throat behind us. And, without looking I knew who it was. I just knew. How? Oh, because the world hates me.

"Jade," I start.

His mouth is tight lipped and fists clenched. His face held one of pure fury. And then, _one_ minute I'm kissing Derek, and then the _next_ minute Derek's on the ground, his hand clutching his face.

"Jaden!"

He punched him! I can't believe he punched him. And, everybody – of course – had left the kitchen so they all saw it happen. Embarrassing.

I ran over to his side – Derek's not Jaden's – and removed his hand and tilted his face up toward the light.

Jaden sucked in his cheeks and announced. "I'll be leaving now."

I looked back at him like he was crazy. I answered sarcastically. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Yeah," He looked a little like he regretted it. And, then he looked at my mother and went, "Thank you, Nora. You have a lovely home." And left.

Oh, my God.

My kids have officially witnessed their first act of violence. And, they're only ONE!

October 22, 2010: Early: Bedroom

So, after the whole party ended – which ended way earlier than I expected – I made Derek follow me home so that I could dress his wound – which looked pretty bad. He put up quite a fight but, there was no stopping me.

We set the Trips in their cribs and walked to the bathroom.

"Sit down."

He rolled his eyes, but complied and sat down on top of the counter.

I got out the first-aid kit, hop up on the counter next to him, and touched his face. He winced. I laughed.

"You know, it's not really funny."

I smirked. "I just can't believe Jaden punched you out."

He looked at me indignantly. "He did not punch me out."

I laughed, again. "Then why were you on the floor exactly?"

"Babe," He looks at me like I should just get this. "You think I can risk hurting these babies." He wiggles his fingers at me. "These are the money –makers."

I forgot how easy it was to be with him. How fun it was.

"Yeah, okay." I said patronizing him. "You're not _weak_ at all."

He grabs my waist and holds me upside down off the counter. "Take it back."

I screamed as all the blood rushed to my head. "Never."

And then, with one hand he started tickling me. Was he crazy?? Did he realize I was just mere seconds away from hitting my head and dying! Regardless, I was laughing and he must be really strong, because I didn't fall an inch. He – finally, after a plethora of begging and pleading – pulled me back up and crushed me to his chest.

I slowly stopped laughing, when I saw the look in his eyes. He was serious again. "I love you, Casey."

"Yeah," I smiled, ruffling his hair. "I know."

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**Review, **

**Laura :D**


	16. With Somethin' Hanes

November 22, 2010: Kitchen

It's officially one month since Derek and I became, well, a 'Derek and I'.

At first, I thought it was going to be so awkward, you know, the whole transitional period, but it wasn't. It, well I should say 'he', flew right into the 'we're dating' mode like it was nothing. Like it was cake. And, not wanting to seem like the awkward turtle, I quickly followed his lead.

Derek fell back into his routine of Trips, hockey practice, Trips, sleep. But, now, something better was added to his routine. ME! And, he seemed to really enjoy being back together with me. It seemed way more natural than any other relationship I've ever had. So easy.

Like, take earlier yesterday morning.

I'm in the kitchen, pouring milk into little Sippy cups. Trying – and failing – to wean my babies off the bottle. It may be too early, but I could honestly care less. So, I'm in the kitchen just humming along to whatever song is one the radio when Derek walks in with a, "Hey, Case," and walks into the nursery.

I'm not sure exactly where to go from here, because, yeah he said some pretty big stuff last night, but I hadn't said any of them back. I settled with an, "Oh, hey, Derek."

I set the cups down on the counter as he walks out with two kids in tow. He hands them over to me and goes to get Sammy. I place the kids in their high chairs, giving them each a good morning kiss for the day, and soon Derek is placing Sammy into his high chair. As he's doing this I go, "How was practice?"

"You know," He bends back up, and throws out a smirk, "I really think we're going to go all the way this year."

I laugh and playfully – flirtilly (oh, Lord, am I making up words now?) – slap his shoulder. "That's what you said last year."

He grabs me playfully-rough against his chest and locks his arms around me. "Hey! This time it's serious," He gets this really thoughtful look on his face. "I mean, I have to win the Cup. My team wants it, and I mean, they're all counting on me and the pressure's just-"

"Is this the part where I break out the violin?"

He rolls his eyes and kisses the inside of my neck. "Good morning, Casey."

"Morning," I turn to him smiling, and kiss him.

We both stare at each other for a few minutes until a rattle is thrown in our direction by none other than Miss Brooklyn. Derek laughs – he's totally spoiling her – and I head into the kitchen. I had cut up a whole bunch of some bananas because they liked – attempting to – eating by themselves. And, THAT was always messy.

I mean, the transition stage is NOT supposed to work like this. We are supposed to be awkward around each other. And, we're just not. We're not. We are totally and completely comfortable around each other. Like, take two days after that,

I'm sitting there watching TV and he piles in with all his hockey junk and just drops it all, right in front of the door.

I'm all, "Der-ek! Don't leave your crap right by the door! Someone could trip!"

He rolls his eyes. "You're the only one I know that would trip over something this big."

I roll my eyes back and he adds, "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Please do."

He pulls a face at me, walks over to me, and tries to plant a kiss on my cheek.

I swat at him. "Der-ek! You're all sweaty!" He puckers his lips laughing,

"It's gonna happen." He says. "I can't take a shower until you kiss me."

"I'm not kissing you in your condition."

He gets this look in his eye, and then my back's against the cushions of the couch and he's on top of me rubbing all his sweat on me.

I scream. "Ew! Derek Venturi! You… pig!"

Without getting up and smiling down at me he goes, "I'm not sweaty anymore."

"Yeah, but, now I am." My eyes – I'm sure – are burning with anger as I rub furiously at my face.

He laughs, "I like it." He looks down at me, brushing the hair out of my face. "Brings back old memories."

I quickly stiffen and push him off me. "Go take your shower."

"You could take it with me?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Derek," I start off slowly. "I-I-I can't. I'm- I'm sorry."

His joking face slowly slides off his face and he asks, "Can't what?"

"Um, I probably should have mentioned this before we became a 'we' again," I stand up and start pacing in front of the couch. "Because this can definitely determine whether or not you still even want to be with me again, and I definitely, _definitely_ should have told you." I slapped my palm against my forehead. "God, I'm so stupid!"

"Casey," I don't answer. I'm off in my own little world of Casey-Hate. "Casey. Calm down. You're rambling." He grabs my hands and then looks me in the face. "What's going on?" He looks really scared and then I feel bad because I realize he thinks it's like health related, which in a way it _so_ is.

"I'm," I look straight into his peat-bog eyes. "I'm… off… sex."

He smirks and nods understandably. "Okay, Keener."

I let out a sigh of relief. Does he really not care? Does he really want to be with me, for well, me?

"How long?" Oh, no. He repeats with a laugh and air quotes. "How long are you "off" sex, Case?"

Here goes nothing.

"Um," My eyes wander around the room as I think of a way to say this. I take my hands out of his and wipe them on my pants from the sweat that was growing on them. "I'm gonna go with indefinitely."

His smile drops and his eyes widen. "Indefinitely?"

I bite my lip. "Yeaahh,"

He doesn't say anything. He just looks at me and then he steps back, nods, and says really quietly. "Sh-shower. I'm-I'm gonna go… shower."

Great! Now he's gonna dump me! I wanted to kick myself. But, he had to find out sometime. I mean, honestly, I haven't had sex in what has it been two years? Jesus!

When he gets out of the shower I'm sitting on the couch still, but now with Sammy in my lap. He sits down next to me and pulls me onto his lap also.

"Don't worry, I'm clean."

I turn my head and smile. Shakily, I ask, "Are you mad?"

"Casey," He sighs as he puts his arm around me. "Indefinitely is a _long_ time."

I wait for it.

"And, I'm a man. Okay?" He says. "You kind of understand where I'm goin' with this?"

I roll my eyes and argue and angry moisture fills my eyes. "You don't understand."

"Casey, I do understand. When I first found out you were pregnant I didn't have sex with Trisha for like… like a whole _week_."

I huffed and rolled my eyes. "It's different."

"How?"

"_You_ weren't actually the pregnant one, okay?! _You_ didn't walk around with a huge belly, with people talking about how pathetic you were and how stupid you were! _You_ didn't faint in the middle of the mall, bleeding out of your fucking uterus! Okay? You _don't_ understand." Somewhere in there I started crying – all things considered, my crying scale has gone considerably downward. And, I know, where is the dirty language coming from, and right in front of Sammy, but do note I – sorta kinda – whispered the f bomb.

"You're right, Casey," He rubs my arm up and down. "It's different."

He kisses my forehead, my eyelids, and then my mouth. "But, you're hot. And, all I'm saying is, indefinitely is a long time."

I can't help but smile.

So, all in all, everything's going pretty well. Normal. Like it should be. Oh, Derek's here. Be right back.

November 22, 2010: Bedroom

Oh, my God! Derek is so sweet! I like, love him.

Okay, so he got a babysitter, so we could actually go out on a real date for once. And, he told me to get fancied up, because he said he hadn't seen me in a dress in a really long time and he missed my legs. Which _almost_ made me go off on a rampage about coveting the female body, but I kind of missed my legs too, so I decided to get as he said, "fancied up".

And, I forgot how much I liked being fancied up. Especially when I knew he was going to LOVE me in this dress – cause I LOVE me in this dress.

Needless to say, when I came out the room, his jaw almost hit the floor.

"Casey, you look amazing."

"As do yourself." He hadn't dressed up too much, but he still had on a nice sports jacket, dress shirt, and a nice pair of jeans.

"Case," He pointed at himself. "I _always_ look amazing."

I shook my head and we headed out.

When we got there, it was some real discreet restaurant, but looked real expensive. My fave! And, I think I'm going to order something expensive, last time I dated Derek he didn't have as big a wallet, and I wondered if he'd still throw a fit.

He didn't.

"So," I start. "What's all this for?"

He scrunches up his eyebrows and then places his hand to his heart in mock surprise. "Casey McDonald."

I look at him.

"Are you telling me you forgot a month-a-versery?"

When my eyes widened he laughed. "Wow, you sure seemed into them with your other boyfriends. I'm kind of offended."

I rushed out. "I didn't forget." I wiped at the corner of my mouth. "I just can't believe you're celebrating a month-a-versary."

"But, you're really into them, and" He shrugged indifferently, looking down, like it was no big deal. "I'd do anything for you, Casey."

I looked at him in shock, but he didn't seem to realize what he'd said. Or he didn't think it was that big a deal.

"So, how was your lobster?" He says looking up.

I blink and try to compose myself. "Good, it's really good."

He smiles. "Good." He reaches over the table and grabs my left hand. "Good."

Ummm, yeah, I may have to re-think this whole "no sex" thing.

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**Review, and you shall all get whatever your hearts desire!! i SWEAR. **

**haha, Laura :D**


	17. In Bed I Lay

**Okay, let me answer a few questions here.**

**No. This fic is not over.**

**No. Chapter 16 was not the last chapter. **

**No. I am not going to leave this story unfinished because i hate people's happiness. **

**No. I don't have a sequel planned. The end - which this chapter also is not - will definitely conclude any unclarity(ness)**

**I hope that clears up any confusion. If you have any more questions, feel free to hit the review button and just ask. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek**

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February 22, 2011: Sam's Couch. On Some Random Notebook I Found In His Apartment

Should've known Derek's lovely attitude wouldn't last forever.

I mean, what was I thinking? Honestly. Derek and understanding just don't fall into the same category.

And this was just the straw that broke the frickin' camel's back! I mean with everything going on, didn't he know I was having the worst like YEAR of my life? Didn't he know about all the crap and all the drama and the craziness? Didn't he know anything! No. The answer is no. He doesn't know anything. Because he's Derek.

To fully understand my point I'll have to rewind a bit.

I was walking down the stairs carefully with the Trips in tow leaving the apartment. I was already beyond stressed out and I had just started taking some night classes at the U and there just wasn't enough freaking time in the day. So imagine me when as soon as I walk out the door there are these huge flashes. Camera after frickin' camera. Just goin' off. FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

And I'm like, "What the hell?" Do these people not _care_ that I'm trying to get my kids to their new daycare center aimed at accelerating learning skills? I mean, can't they see how frightened they look! What is wrong with the world?

So, all these reporters start shouting all these things out at once. I can't understand a word and there is no way I'm pushing though this mob. So, I stand there strategizing.

Until,

"Miss McDonald, how do you feel about Derek finding out about your affair with his fellow teammate Dan Powtner?" – Like what! Come on. -

And,

"Miss McDonald, is it true that you were with Derek while he and Trisha were still together? – Okay, old news being drug up? Not. Cool. Because that's not the ONE issue we haven't beaten into the ground yet. -

And, wait for it…

"Miss McDonald, how could you do something so insensitive? How do you think your children feel?"

!!!

One of the paps shoves a magazine in my hand and it's a picture of me hugging Dan Powtner after the game a week ago.

And all I have to say to that is:

Yeah, because in between the time I make for all three of my 1 year olds, my boyfriend – Ahem, I may have let go on the whole no-sex thing - my new job as a phone answerer – which let me tell you, NO slice of Heaven. People are just cold and cruel and nasty now-a-days – AND my night courses, I squeezed in some late night booty-call-sex with Dan Powtner. Dan Powtner – who – in all seriousness – is about as attractive as a piece of poo.

I mean, all I did was give him a hug – a CONGRATULATORY hug – after they won a game. I mean, it was a side hug for goodness sake! And you know, I almost didn't come to the game, but, of course, Derek insisted. So, clearly, what this all boils down to is: Derek.

Derek is the root of all evil.

It took me fifteen – FIFTEEN – minutes to reach my car. Now I was looking at being late for work on my first week on the job. Ugh, stupid Derek and his stupid hockey!

So, I strap everyone in, head out of the street and my phone rings. I grab it.

"Dan Powtner," The caller says in mock-dismay. "I'm not gonna lie. I just don't see it."

"Shut it, Sam."

He laughs. "Well, at least it wasn't Brad. That guy needs a serious makeover."

"True." I agree. "But, you do have to factor in the bod. His bod gives him like 17 extra points on the Hottie Scale."

He laughs again. "Can't say I exactly agree with that. So, heard from Derek yet?"

"No," I said. "Not looking forward to that conversation."

"Oh, come on, Casey. Derek has _plenty_ of experience with the press. He won't believe any of it."

"Oh, I know that. It's just," I sigh. "They're bringing up old Trish the Bitch crap! And, you _know_ that's a really sore subject with Derek."

Sam sucks in his breath. "Yeah. I didn't think about that."

I shake my head in frustration as I turn into the daycare parking lot. "Listen, Sam, I'm heading into the daycare right now. I'll call you at lunch."

So, I get the Trips all situated and now that they are safely out the car I allow myself to go five over the speed limit. My boss is going to kill me. I'm late. And, I'm never late. Ever. To be early is to be on time. That's always been my motto. What the hell is happening to me?

I get to work and my boss chews me out for like five minutes. I try – uselessly – explaining to him about the paparazzi and the cameras, but he takes one look at me and goes,

"Excuses are for the unemployed." That shut me up real quick.

The day drags on really slowly and I'm just on the edge of exploding. So when Amy – some lady who works for someone at this company, who ratted me out to the boss man today about being late – comes in the room, I could not be held accountable for my actions. I mean, she caught me right in the middle of trying to get the stupid coffee machine to work.

"Hitting it is probably not the best way to get it to work." She says.

I whip around at her and I'm sure my face is not something to be enjoyed.

"You know what? It's people like you who make the world the shitty place that it is! I mean, who _cares_ how I get the coffee to come out? Who _cares_? I mean, as long as it fucking comes out, what's the big deal? _Clearly_, you can see I'm having a terrible day. _Clearly_. I mean, it's written all over my face. You think I like showing up late? You think I like being miserable? I don't. But, clearly you can't take happiness. Certainly not in other people! I mean, do you have three mouths to feed? NO! No, you fucking don't! So, Amy, if you could just please, _please_ BUTT OUT it would be greatly appreciated."

She blinks at me, red faced, eyes wide. She doesn't move for like twenty seconds and it's so awkward in here that I have to leave. I head toward the door and she whispers,

"It was just, you know, small talk. Before I told you that you had a visitor." She swallows. "It's Derek Venturi."

I let out a huge breath and march back to my post. On my way I see people looking at me funny, which means they probably heard my whole speech or they just picked up a magazine with me in the arms of not-my-boyfriend. Just great. I'm so fired.

I walk over to my desk and see Derek swinging around in my chair. He smiles this broad smile,

"So, this is where the magic happens, eh?"

I roll my eyes and move my bangs out of my eyes.

"Soo," He begins as we walk outside the building. "Couldn't help but overhear all the excitement? You know, I can just _buy_ you a coffee maker if you want."

In a really quiet voice – that should have warned him I wasn't in the mood – I reply, "I don't want you to buy me a coffee maker, Derek."

"Case, it's not that big a deal."

"Maybe to you."

He catches on to my non-joking attitude and goes, "So, I'm guessing you were informed of the whole Dan Powtner thing."

"Informed?" I raise my eyebrows as I lean against the wall. "Try attacked. Or mauled. Oh, and, apparently I'm insensitive."

I start calmly counting to twenty one, tapping my third eye.

He's quiet – which is unusual - so I look up. He's staring at me with this intense look in his eye. I quickly drop my eyes and shift them to somewhere – anywhere – else.

"Hey, Casey," He leans his body over me and lifts up my chin. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." My eyes water. And, for those of you who are like, "Honestly, she's crying again?" The answer is yes. Yes, I am crying again.

He doesn't say anything he just holds my gaze, thumb gently rubbing my chin and I spill, "It's just that… I don't want you to buy me a coffee maker."

He squints his eyes. "Okay, then I won't buy you a coffee maker. How about a cappuccino maker?"

"No! No, that's just it. I don't want you to have to buy me things."

"You _don't_ want me to buy you things." He repeats.

"No," I exclaim. "I want to buy _myself_ things! I want to _be able to_ buy myself things. But, I can't. 'Cause I'm poor. And I have three kids and no education and I'm just…stupid." A few tears escape and make their descent down my face. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Me like this. Maybe I saw it for you, but definitely not for me." I shake my head. "You shouldn't have to still be paying my rent. It's ridiculous."

"Well, there's an easy solution for that." I look up at him expectantly.

"You can move in with me." I place my head down on top of my desk in frustration. "No, seriously. I've got that big loft and I'm only one guy. I mean, I was thinking of asking you anyway. I think we're at that – ahem – part in our re-relationship, yeah? I mean, we've lived together before-"

"You're not getting it. You just don't get it." I push him off me so I can walk back into the building, but he grabs my arm.

"Casey,"

I gaze up.

"I'm trying here."

I know. I know he is! Doesn't he know that?

"Yeah," I shake my head as if to rid all negative energy. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry." I lean up quickly to plant a soft kiss on his lips. Trying to make the best of my 15 minutes left of lunch I ask, "How was your day?"

He gives me a skeptical look, almost like he's trying to read into my soul. His dark brown eyes work like their own truth serum, but, it wasn't going to work. He cradles my head in between both of his large hands and mutters in a deep voice that just made me swoon, "I missed you."

And it was just the nicest thing I had heard all day. I just wanted to maul him. So, I did. And we made out in front of my job for like, well, the rest of my lunch period.

I finally let go when my phone alarm sounds, and he mutters something about the bathroom. He walks ahead of me into the building and I stay behind to catch my breath. After a good minute I head back in and toward my desk. Derek – now that I think of it, looking TOTALLY suspicious – is just passing my desk and smacks me on the butt on his way out.

I plop down in my chair and run my fingers through my hair. Boy, if I smoked this would _so_ be smoking time. Suddenly, my boss is in front of me tapping his foot, arms crossed. Oh yeah, I forgot to punch out before I took my "lunch".

"Mr. Jergens, I-"

"I don't care _who_ your boyfriend is," He demands. "But making out while you're on the clock is unacceptable."

So, I got fired.

Which is just great. I started sobbing as soon as he told me, begging him, _feeding_ him the tired bit of - the three kids whose mouths I have to feed - line. But, he didn't take it. He didn't fall for anything. So, I was packing up my stuff which mainly just consisted of a couple picture frames and some coffee mugs and I started frantically looking for my journal, because I was getting ready to explode. But, I couldn't find it anywhere. Anywhere. And, I know for a fact that I brought it because I bring that bad boy with me everywhere. It's my safety net. My safe haven.

And then I just knew. Derek.

Why would he do something like this? Why would he take my only outlet to keep my sanity?

Which is how I ended up at Sam's. On his couch. In his – I flip the notebook over to – BILLS notebook.

Sam is making me Hot Coco while I think of ways to neuter Derek.

* * *

**You know what to do. :) **


	18. With Nothing

**Hey, guys. I do fully understand that the Life with Derek archive is running really slowly right now, and hopefully that'll pick up when the movie comes out, but i would really, really, really appreciate it if you guys could give me some feedback on this story. I just want to make sure i'm not writing it for nobody, and that somebody's reading it. Because, it's hard to stay motivated, ya know? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek**

* * *

February 29, 2011: Derek's Bedroom

I hadn't seen Derek in a week. A week! He steels my journal and then jets off! Is he serious? He finally called in and explained that he had some _business to take care of_ and would be back, well, today. But, I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even kiss the kids bye or anything. Well, he did call and ask to speak with them daily, but it's different. He stole my journal and I know it. What is he five?

When asked this he replied, "No, six."

So, when I drop the kids of at Daycare, again looking for a new job, I was not exactly in the mood to see Derek leaning against his car door.

I turn my head and head straight for my car.

"What? I don't get a hello." He smirks.

I stomp over to him and poke him in the chest. "Where the hell've you been?"

He brushes it off. "I had to take care of some things."

"Oh, you had to take care of some things?" I say. "Well, here's another thing you need to take care of: We're though."

He rolls his eyes. "Tone it down, Drama Queen."

I push him again. He lands on the hood of his car. "_You_ stole my journal."

He doesn't say anything.

"I just can't believe it. I mean, I thought you had grown up. I thought you were responsible! But, taking off like that, when no one knew where you were… That's just unacceptable. You're just so… stupid! I can't believe I'm in love with someone like you. And to just take my journal like that. My blood pressure's been up all wee-"

I didn't get a chance to finish, for my lips were suddenly busy. He held me so tight and kissed me so well, I forgot why I was so angry. It was one of those oh-I-haven't-kissed-you-in-so-long kisses. And totally appropriate for a time like this. I clung to him in fury.

He pulls away and goes. "I got something for you."

"Jewelry?"

He laughs. "No."

To which I would just like to say: What's the point of being rich if you don't buy your girlfriend expensive jewelry every now and again?

He digs around in his car for a bit and then retrieves my journal. I couldn't help it. At the sight of my journal my face turned into this great big Cheshire cat grin. My heart started beating normally again. The sky was bluer. The grass was greener. Everything was just perfect.

I snatch it out of his hand and hug it to my chest. But, something was off. Derek had this look on his face and it worried me.

"What?"

"Promise you won't hate me."

"Can't. Why?" I was starting to get anxious. I went to open the journal, but he grabbed my hand to hold it closed.

"Before you open, I have to say something." He bites his lip.

I go, "Derek, you're really starting to freak me out."

"I took your journal to a publishing company." I froze and my eyes widened.

"You did what!"

"It's just that, I know how talented you are, and I know that you don't see it. And, from the bit I read," If possible my eyes widened even further. "From the bit I read when you were in the hospital that one time, I know it's really good. It's honest. And… real."

I pushed my body away from his. I opened the journal and there was red pen everywhere. It broke my heart. But, then it occurred to me. Why would there already be editing marks?

Derek looks up at me sheepishly.

"Derek," I glare at him in disbelief. "These are my _inner_most thoughts. My thoughts I don't share with anybody. The one place where it's okay to say how I feel and not hold anything back. If I wanted the world to know how I felt, I would have found some way to do it by now."

Derek grabs my elbows and pulls me nice and close to him, but not too close. I could still see his face.

"Casey," He stares at me. "What happened to that girl who was so strongly opinionated that she not only would tell me how I was supposed to feel, but beat me down with my own hockey trophies until I agreed? What happened to the girl who would stop at _nothing_ to succeed? Who made me enter a dance contest with her? Who made me feel somewhat guilty every time I pranked her? What happened to that girl I fell in love with at 15?"

Two things happened here.

One: I realized that Derek pretty much just admitted he loved me since we were teenagers. Like waay before I even acknowledged him as hottie-potential. He's always loved me. Always. Even when he – thought he – loved Sally. It's always been me. And, that almost – ALMOST – put a smile on my face.

Until I thought about thing number 2: Have I really changed? I used to be a strong, women's rights loving, speech giving (to anyone who would listen), and dance loving kind of girl. What happened? And, most importantly does Derek not love the new me?

I looked down so he would catch the tears welling up inside my eyes. "That girl got dumped, had three kids, and died."

He pulled my chin up so he could see my eyes. "I don't believe that." He placed his arm around my back and held me there.

I asked impatiently. "Well, what'd they say?"

"Actually," He pulled away some and rubbed at his arm. "They hated it. They said it was the worst excuse for a book they've ever read. They said the Princess Diaries thing was way over done and they'd be surprised if anyone ever gave this the time of day."

Tears formed in my eyes and then Derek was holding me again. "But, I didn't mind much because they were a small company anyways and I knew if we were gonna do this it had to be big. So, I took it to the second company, you know that company that does those _Twilight_ books?"

"Yeah?" My eyes brightened.

"They hated it, too." He said casually, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

Boy! He really knows how to break bad news to someone.

I instantly went into this whole ramble about how if I had known I was writing it for an actual novel it would have been written differently. And, how could he expect my collection of thoughts to ever be good enough to publish. He just grabbed my two lips, helped them together and said,

"But, the third place… They loved it. They thought it was so new and original. They want to start working with you immediately."

I placed a hand over my heart. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, you've got real talent, Casey." Derek reminded. "I just wish you wouldn't hide it."

"But, my journal – well, it's mostly about us. And the Trips and Trisha. This is my life, Derek. What if the world hates my life? I wouldn't be able to take it."

Derek shook off the idea like it was the stupidest idea he'd ever heard. "Our love is way too great to not share? Why not rub it in people's faces how happy we are? And, who cares what the world thinks?"

And, you know what? I'll let you in on a little secret:

I do.

**

March 1, 2011: Playing with Trips

"Just calm down and explain this to me in your calm, non crazy person voice. I know you haven't channeled that voice in a while, but just try."

"No, Sam, I can't!" I shrieked. "This editor is so dumb! She wants me to take out parts of my book. I can't take out parts of my book! That's like taking out parts of my life!"

Sam replies. "Casey, this is her job. She knows what she's talking about. If she says the part needs to go, the part needs to go."

"Hell, no! She told me I needed to take out every part that mentioned Trisha."

There was silence and then he replied screaming, "That's like the whole thing!"

"Thank you! Somebody around here gets it!"

I had let Sam read my journal. I hadn't felt secure enough to really go through with it without another person's point of view. I mean, yeah, Derek said he loved it, but he's a bit biased. And the last time he read a book was, well, does Sir Thompson High School ring a bell?

"You know what, no, I'm not doing this. I'm not gonna have someone tearing away at my life, it's just not for me."

Sam sighs. "Casey,"

"Yeah,"

"How the hell else are you gonna start paying your own bills?"

To which I would like to point out is an EXCELLENT point.

**

March 2, 2011: Derek's bedroom

"Derek Venturi!"

This is one of the nights he slept in his own apartment. He had gotten in late from practice and didn't want to disturb us. I threw open the door and whip his comforter off of him.

He grabs his pillow and places it on top of his bed.

I get on top of him in an attempt to pull it off, which somehow leads to an entirely different set of events occurring. After gaining my composure I stand up and readjust my clothing.

I breathe out. "Right. Now, where was I?"

He smirks and slowly swings his legs on the side of the bed. "I believe it was, 'Derek Venturi!'" He states in a terrible imitation of me.

"Right," I muster up all the anger I had felt only moments before. "Derek Venturi!"

"What?"

"Remember how I was pissed that that editor lady wanted me to take out all the parts that had to do with Trisha?"

He rolls his eyes. "How could I not? It was only yesterday. You bitched about it on the phone for like an hour. Which wasn't cheap considering I had to use the airplane phone."

"Excuse me," I begin. "But, I don't _bitch_ about anything."

"Right, Case," He pats my shoulder as he walks by. "You're an angel."

I do not appreciate his sarcasm.

"Okay, anyways. I found out that that lady is a relative of Trish the Bitch,"

He gives me a look.

"I mean, Trisha."

Derek was not to happy when he found out that not only did I call her that, but Sam – his best friend – did as well.

"Impossible. I met all of Trisha's relatives." Derek headed outside the room to where the Trips were playing and straight to the living room. He sat down on his recliner.

I roll my eyes. "I'm pretty sure it's quite possible that you didn't meet every relative this woman has on the planet!"

Derek said. "I don't think so. I mean, even if, this lady seemed totally professional. She would never mix her personal life with her work life."

"Derek," I went over to where he was sitting and sat on his lap. "You have so much to learn. Keep up!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing – and I repeat NOTHING – comes between a woman and her man. And, when something does _all hell breaks loose_."

"Her man?" Derek smirks, kissing my neck. "How possessive of you Casey. Did all hell break loose for you?"

"Derek, you know what I mean."

"Well, whaddaya wanna do about it?"

I considered this for a moment.

"I think we may have to consult the dark, twisted and uncanny – but always appropriate - powers of S&E?" I rubbed my hands together. "They are the masters of their kind."

Derek – who was still kissing my neck – puzzled, "S&E? Who's that?"

I swatted him away, standing up. "Sam and Emily, Derek. Keep up!"

"Sam and Emily? What do they know about dark and twisted schemes?"

I froze. Oh, crap! He didn't know about Operation C&D minus T.

I put on my best innocent school girl look and said. "Nothing." I skidded away and grabbed the keys after shouting a rush, 'Could you watch the kids?' at Derek's maid who was super nice. And elderly. I made sure of the elderly part.

"Casey," Derek said menacingly following me outside the door.

* * *

**Please review! :)**

Laura


	19. But, My TShirt On

Yeah, I took a bit of a hiatus. But, I'm back. And, i hope you all enjoy. Because i definitely have tons of homework i need to be doing right now.

**Disclaimer: I do not own nothing**

* * *

March 2, 2011: Emily's.

"So," I said. "Derek's being an ass."

Sam laughs. "And, this is different from the every day, how?"

Emily plops down next to me on the couch – texting Ralph I'm sure. Gross.

"This is a different kind of an ass." I huff in frustration. "This is the annoyingly, fucking stupid kind of ass."

I really need to work on my potty-mouth as of lately.

"Are there different kinds of ass?" Sam raises an eyebrow, looking genuinely confused.

Emily and I look at him like he's crazy. Oh, young jetti, you have so much to learn.

"Okay, so ignoring him," Emily says. "What's his deal?"

"He's _pretending_ to be all hurt that I, for lack of better word, _consulted_, with you two, to get Trisha out of his life." I roll my eyes. "He called it 'scheming' or something!"

And, honestly, even if you did call what I – somewhat, not fully – did to break Trisha and him apart 'scheming', what would it matter? Isn't he the King of Lies? Didn't he use to pride himself on that? Like, stop being a hypocrite much? 'Kay? Thanks.

"And, in all reality, I did quit that whole Operation anyway. 'Member?"

Sam tilts his head to the side. "Yeah, but then you un-quit, after she fake impregnated herself."

Emily nods her head in agreement.

"Oh, yeah." I cluck my tongue. "But, then after that whole pregnant wedding dress thing – then I totally stopped."

"Yeahh," Emily stated, nodding her head. And, then she added. "...because you won."

I looked at them in disbelief. Were they in the same dimension that I was? "Um, can anyone please tell me whose life you've been watching this whole time? 'Cause I did _not_ win! Derek and I didn't even see each other for like almost a whole year after that. And, then, I started dating Jaden and everything."

"Yeah, but, Casey," Emily popped a grape in her mouth. "You kinda have to admit, that you kinda won. I mean, after he found out about her lie, there was no way he was going back to her."

I sat there thinking. Whatever. He still couldn't be mad at me. She schemed just as much as I did. And, so what if I schemed! Who was he to pass judgment on me?

"Then again," We looked up at Sam. "Derek has 'schemed' plenty of times to get you away from your boyfriends."

We looked at him confused.

"Does the infamous 'Male Code' ring a bell? Or the fake girlfriends' of Scott he brought over to make you think Scott was a cheater? Or the 'fling flonging' with Max? Those aren't just coincidences, Case."

And, it was like this huge bright light bulb turned on in the dusty, old attic that I called my brain.

"oh, my God." My mouth dropped. "Oh, my God!"

I couldn't even think of anything to say. "That – that – that…"

"Ass?" Emily tried.

"Yes!" Oh, he was going to pay. Like, in the painful variety.

"So, what're you gonna do about your book?" Sam asked, checking his watch. I could tell he had gotten uncomfortable with tattling on his best friend. He probably didn't want me to say anything to Derek about it.

I sigh and fall against Emily's shoulder. "I don't know. I don't know anything. I don't even know if I have a home to go home to today."

Emily whacks me with a pillow.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Stop being so damn over-dramatic all the time!"

Okay, A: I am like the least over-dramatic person I know. I'm like the furthest thing from it. If being over-dramatic was like Earth, I would be like Pluto. That's how far away from being over-dramatic I am.

And, B: Well, there is no B. But, still, you get the point.

March 2, 2011: Car: I'm so furious I couldn't even wait untill I got somewhere to write this down

So, when I came home, Derek wasn't here. So, I relieved his maid and sat down to play with the Trips. I couldn't believe he hadn't been back yet. It's been like three hours.

"Mama,"

I looked over at Nate, who hadn't yet reached the walking stage yet, but was avidly trying, with a smile.

That was about all the English he knew. And, the fact that it was my name, well, just imagine Derek's disappointment, then you know how I feel.

I rub the top of his head, and pull him into my lap. And, the minute I get just comfortable enough. Derek bursts through the door.

I say aloud, "Well, Nate, it was fun. But, now I've gotta deal with your ass of a father."

"You have _some_ nerve."

"Are you kidding me?" My eyes flash with disgust. "You do _not_ want to go down that lane with me right now."

He stands right in front of my face and glares."Already packed my bags."

Ugh! What a loser.

He turns away from me and says, "I'm just… I don't know. Really disappointed in you."

I scoff. "Seriously. You're disappointed in me?"

"Yeah. You're Casey McDonald. Casey McDonald does _not_ scheme. At least the Casey McDonald I know doesn't."

Oh, no, he didn't. He did not just pull the I-don't-even-know-who-you-are-anymore stunt with me. Oh, if looks could kill…

"Derek, please. I schemed once. Once. You've schemed a plethora of times on me."

He goes, "If a plethora means never, then yeah. I have."

"Derek, don't play stupid with me."

"No, no. I'll just do what you do and scheme instead!" Derek says. "I've never gone as far as to try and ruin one of your relationships!"

I roll my eyes, step through the gate we have set up for the Trips, and head toward the kitchen. What a liar!

And then, OH, and then, Derek says something that if I had been holding a sharp knife at that moment, it might have accidentally gone thru his throat, crushed his larynx, and made him speechless for life. Relax, Casey. Relax.

Too bad I don't have that hormonal excuse anymore.

He goes, "I just don't know if I can be with someone who would do something like that!"

…

I KNOW! I _KNOW! _

It's like he's lost his mind. I gripped really hard onto the counter that I was holding and screamed out a loud.

"WHAT!"

I must've been loud because the Trips drop what they're doing and look over at us.

"What did you just say?"

Derek – seeing as how he is so used to my freak outs – did not look scared at all. In fact, he repeats, "You heard me."

"You heard me? You heard me! You _fucking_ heard me!"

"Case, the Trips." He reminds.

I look over at them and stammer, "Mommy didn't mean that. She was just angry."

I look back over at Derek, who's smirking, and glare. "Do you _want_ me to punch you?"

"I just want honesty, Case." He says. "I just want you to give me, what I give you."

That's it. I'm putting my foot down.

"Does '_the_ _Male_ _Code'_ mean anything to you, Derek? Or how about all the _football_ you taught me for my date with Max? Or how about Scott's '_girlfriends'_?"

He pales. "You knew about that?"

"I do now!"

He snarls. "Sam."

I look at him. "Well?" He looks back at me. "Do you have anything to say for _your_self mister?"

"That was different."

I scream in disbelief. "How!"

"We were kids. Now, we're adults. We're grown up. We _have_ kids."

"Oh, please, Derek. We're not grown-ups."

He pulls out a chair at the counter and sits. "Okay, so maybe that's not why I'm freaking."

"I certainly hope not." I pull out the chair next to him "'Cause if anything bugs me more than anything else, it's double standards."

"I think I was just trying to find a reason." He says sadly.

I grab his hand on the counter and ask seriously, "A reason for what?"

"A reason not to ask you to marry me." I stiffen. "Because if I couldn't then there was no reason for us not to be together. And I can't. I can't even find one. Just earlier when we were fighting, I was getting so turned on. There are like 0 reasons that we shouldn't be together, Casey."

I remove my hand and stare.

"So, what do you say, McDonald? Can you think of any?"

I place a hand on my chest and say – trying to keep my voice level. "I severely, _severely_ hope that this isn't you asking me to marry you."

Derek smirks. "Wanna get hitched, McDonald? Tie the old knot."

I start breathing really hard and he wiggles his eyebrows and… just… no. No. This is all wrong.

"Hell, no."

His smirk falters. "What?"

"Are you kidding me with that?"

"I don't understand." He says.

"Is this your idea of some kind of a joke?" He doesn't say anything. "Because if it is, it is not funny. Not funny at all."

"Well, I wasn't joking, but now I'm thinking I am."

I slap him really hard on the chest. "You _know_ how important this moment is for me! And, you just stomped all over it, with your stupid assy-ness and your stupid assy feet! Are you _trying_ to ruin my life? Set a bad omen for the rest of our relationship? I mean, _you_ _don't_ _even have a ring_!"

I get up and walk away from him. "This is just, no. All wrong. Everything is just wrong."

"Wait," He grabs my arm to keep me from leaving. "Are you – are you saying no?"

"Is this your idea of a proposal?"

"Yeah,"

"Then, yes. I am definitely, 100% saying no." I grab my coat and purse and open the door. "I mean, what kind of fake-ass proposal was that?"

He grabs his heart. "I thought it was witty. I was going for romantic."

"You absolutely, positively failed." I slammed the door. Then I opened it again and said, "You're keeping the Trips tonight."

And slam it again.

Seriously? What did I do in a past life to deserve this?

A wedding proposal is something little girls dream about their whole lives. They spend hours upon hours dreaming up what he'll say and what he'll do in that one perfect little moment. And, in seconds – _SECONDS_ – Derek just squanders it. Completely!

Ugh! That… ass!

March 2, 2011: Emily's apartment

I knocked fervently on Emily's door and almost smack Sam in the face when he opens it.

"What're you always doing here?" I enter the apartment.

"What are you always doing here?" He counters.

"Touché," Then I start crying. Sam holds me away by my shoulders.

"Emily! Emily!" His voice filled with fear. "Something's wrong with Casey."

Emily walks into the room and frowns. "Oh, Case, what's wrong?"

"Derek!"

"What!" She says worriedly. "What happened to Derek? Where're the Trips?"

"They're at Derek's."

"Alone! Casey!" She grabs me and begins to take them out of the apartment.

"No, nothing like that. Derek's with them."

"Oh," She shakes her head. "Then what's wrong?"

"Derek ruined my proposal!"

"You're proposal?" Emily questions. "Wait, Derek proposed! Oh, my God! Let me see the ring!" She grabs my hand and then drops it. "There's no ring on your hand."

"That's because I said no." I said, wiping the tears off my face.

Emily gives Sam a look. "You did what?"

"I said no." I replied. "It was the biggest joke of a proposal I have ever heard in my entire life."

"Casey," Emily sighs. She brings me over to the couch and sits me down.

Sam's phone starts ringing. He looks down at it and then gets up. "Got a 911 from Derek. I'll be back in a bit."

"Casey, I think you watch too many rom-coms."

I swallow. "It's not even that. It's just the whole situation, you know?" I start. "He knows how important this is to me. It's like a – like a – like a slap in the face!"

"Casey, Casey, look at me." Emily grabs my face. "It's Derek! He's doing the best he knows how!"

"I mean," I continue. "There was no one knee-ness. No ring. No 'Casey McDonald, I love you' –ness. It was just terrible."

"Okay. What were his exact words?"

"'Wanna get hitched, McDonald?'" I mock in a very agitated tone. "Tie the old knot?"

"Oh," She frowns, concerned. "Well, maybe he was just kidding."

"It was for sure not a joke." I say. "He got me to argue with him so that he could propose to me. Terribly."

"Well, yeah that is pretty bad." Emily bites her lip. I lean my head against her shoulder. She pats my head. "But, Case, you have to remember."

"Remember what?"

"That this is Derek. And, he's doing the best he knows how. Maybe he's the most comfortable when you guys are arguing. And, really, if you look at it sideways and kind of tilt your head to the left a little, and squint your eyes a bit, it _was_ kind of romantic. In a very _Derek-esque _kind of way."

I consider it. I mean, honestly even if that wasn't the best he could've done, think of all the nice things he's done for me lately. Really I'm just being selfish. Asking him for all this. I just need to calm down, and not expect my life to go all hunky dory. I mean, hello? Did I forget about the Trips?

And, that all worked out okay. Actually it's perfect. I wouldn't change anything I did in my past, if it would take away my Trips. Anything! I just need to take a humongous chill pill and just chillax. Seriously. Seriously.

"You're right," I get up and she does to. And I give her a big hug. "What would I do without you?"

She bluntly replies, "Die."

I laugh and she joins in.

Honestly, what would I do without my conspirator/friend/therapist/mom? I have no f-ing idea.

**

March 2, 2011: Derek's apartment.

So, when I got back to Derek's apartment it was around 9 o' clock. As I reached my hand up to knock on the door, it opens and Sam walks out.

He ruffles my hair, "Be easy on him, Tiger."

I roll my eyes – and seriously, if I do that anymore today, they're gonna fall out – and step into the apartment. As soon as I see him, lying down on the couch looking hopeless, I cry out,

"I'm sorry."

And, either there's an echo in this place or Derek said it as well.

"No, I'm sorry." He's off the couch and I grab his collar. "I should have never flipped out the way I did. It was un-excusable."

"No, I should have never proposed like that." He looks at me seriously. "I know how into fairy tales you are. What was I even thinking?"

"I don't know. But I was being self-centered and self-absorbed and I'm really, really really trying to change."

"Yeah," He nods.

"This is where you go, 'No, Case. You're not self-absorbed.'"

He smirks, "I thought we weren't doing that whole "lying thing" anymore?"

I smack him on his shoulder.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." He presses his mouth against my chin. "You're not self-absorbed, Casey. You're the most caring person I know."

I smile up at him and let him kiss me on the mouth.

I pull apart from him and say, "Okay, okay. I'm ready."

He laughs. "Ready for what?"

"Ask me again." I start bouncing, hardly able to contain myself. "Ask me again to marry you."

"Oh," He frowns and turns away. He scratches the back of his head and goes, "Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do that."

"What?"

Okay, since when is Derek insecure? Derek is the least secure person I know? Don't tell me I bruised his ego or hurt his self-esteem?

"You don't want to marry me anymore?" I ask him, feeling myself turn beet-red. I felt my heart drop into my feet.

"It's not that. It's just, well…" He pulls on his jeans. "You kinda ruined the moment."

"_I_ ruined the moment!" I plop down on the sofa. "Great. Now, I'm still a poor, _un_employed, _un_married, _single_ mother of three."

He plops down next to me and takes my hand. "I'm not saying I'm never asking."

"You're not?" It's now that I realize I started crying. He laughs at me and wipes my face.

"No. I'm just saying that you ruined _this_ moment." He says. "There'll be another."

"Hopefully," I sigh, lacing our fingers together. He laughs again and turns on the TV. He puts his arm around me and I lean against him.

"Where're the Trips?"

He pulls out the baby monitor next to him and waves it. "Asleep. For now, anyways."

I nod and quickly straddle him. He grins and pulls his arms around my waist. He kisses me soundly, slowly, picking up speed. He moved his lips against mine and it has been a long time since we had this kind of alone time. I slowly break away and whisper,

"Is it the moment yet?"

He laughs and brings my head back down.

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**Review? - Laura Ferrari :) **


	20. A Princess Story

**Haha, yeah. So, this is technically the last chapter because all that's left is the epilogue. I didn't end it very well, because I definitely didn't want to go into the second verse of the second for the chapter names. But, whatever. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek. **

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July 19, 2011: Bedroom (Well, Derek's Bedroom) : Early

_Once upon a time, there was a _beautiful_ princess who loved a _handsome_ prince. And, the handsome prince loved her too, (she hoped) with all his heart. The princess and the prince were meant to be, from the moment they laid eyes on each other. Although it took them some time to realize that their feelings of animosity and hatred were really feelings of love and affection, that just made their love story even grander. One day the princess and the prince would marry… _

BUT, THAT'S ONLY IF THE _LAZY-ASS_ PRINCE EVER GOT AROUND TO PROPOSING TO ME!

_Oh, sorry, I mean her. _

July 19, 2011: Kitchen

As of this moment, there are two things that I am not proud of.

One: I am not proud of the fact that I am basically going insane over the fact that it has been four months and Derek still hasn't proposed to me yet.

And, it's not like he hasn't had plenty of opportunities to. In the past four months I had had a birthday, he had had a hockey banquet, and we had had like three different months-a-versaries, we had various nights alone together, and even attended a charity event! I just don't get it. I don't! Does he not want to marry me anymore?

Did I single-handedly ruin our potential marriage because of some teenage fantasy?

And, it's not like in the past four months I hadn't been so blatantly obvious that I wanted him to propose. I've tried everything. I even gave up on my "No Sex" Vow (which just happens to be the second thing I'm not proud of) all in the name of hurrying along that stupid proposal.

I mean, it's not like anything would change if we got married. We kinda-sorta already live together. We already have kids. He still (and no, I'm not happy about it) pays some (_most_ - and no, I'm not proud of it) of my bills. So, in reality, technically Derek and I are already married. All that would change would be some stupid little ring on my finger. Which, anybody could buy. I mean, I could even buy it for myself…

No. Casey, stop.

Do not force yourself upon him. He will propose when he's ready. When his ego is back to its gigantic, ridiculous self.

And, whatever you do Casey, do NOT let on that you are feeling hurt by his non-proposal-ness.

Okay. I can do this. _I_ can do this.

(DC)

July 20, 2011: Nursery

So, early today I kind of let on that my feelings were hurt by his non-propsal-ness.

But, I'm not completely sure that he caught on anyway. I was real subtle about it.

Well, here's how it happened.

I was sitting down at the table looking over my book that I had decided I was _not_ going to publish with the company that had relations with Trish the Bitch. There was just no way I would let her single-handedly control my career. Even though Derek's plan of making my journals a published novel fell through and was a complete and total fail, he completely reminded of something about myself.

I love writing. I've always loved writing! And, the idea of me being a published author sounded really good to me. But, I was going to do this one thing on my own. Without Derek's help. Because I needed to remind myself that once upon a time, I was freaking independent. I didn't need anybody. I was Casey McDonald. And, although circumstances and my world has shifted and changed a little I'm still Casey McDonald. And, that name used to mean something. I just have to make it mean something again.

I _would_ make it mean something again.

Anyways, so while I'm having this mental pep talk, Derek walks in the front door.

He walks in and places his arms around me and the chair and sets his hands on the table. He kisses my cheek. "Hey."

I turn my head to him and try my best to put on my best fake-but-completely-real smile. "Hi,"

"Where're the trips?" He wonders.

"They're in London for today. Mom was basically threatening to call social services if she didn't get to see them soon."

He laughs. "So," He places his mouth on my neck. "We have the house to ourselves? No one to worry about?"

"Stop, Derek," I say in a tired voice. "I'm working."

He frowns at my tone, backs off, and sits in the chair next to me. "What've you been working on so hard for the past four months?"

"Nothing," I say dismissively and suddenly annoyed. Why is his very presence bothering me? It was almost as if I had amnesia and could only remember my feelings for Derek back in my pre-college days. And, those feeling… Let's just say they weren't feelings of love and happiness.

"What do you mean nothing? Why can't you tell me?" He looks offended.

"There can still be _some_ secrets between us, you know?"

Derek looks confused and almost angry. "Since when! We're in a relationship. We're supposed to tell each other everything. There aren't supposed to be any secrets. We're a couple. That's what couples do."

"No, Derek," I say indignantly, grabbing all my papers on the table and gathering them together. "That rule is just for the married couples."

Of course, I didn't believe this. He better not have any secrets from me! He better be as open as a the freakin' seven-eleven.

Anyways,

So, then I stormed off with the sound of him calling my name only a distant fact in the back of my mind. So, whether or not he picked up on my animosity towards him is still a dark fact.

But, if he didn't get it with that he _might_ have gotten it with this.

I was sitting on the couch, a couple hours after the first incident, watching television and eating carrots. Derek comes in a few minutes later, and plops himself down next to me and throws his arm around the back of the couch.

He didn't say anything for a few minutes, which for him is extremely weird. I did my best to ignore him, so I just continued dunking my carrots into ranch. After another 3 minutes of awkward silence, Derek leans over grabs a carrot and pops it into his mouth.

I sigh really loudly and then just hand him the entire plant. "Here, just take 'em."

I'm not trying to be over-dramatic here. I'm just really _really_ frustrated.

Derek coughs and sets the plate down on the coffee table. I can feel him looking at me, trying to catch my gaze, but I refused to look at him.

I scratch the side of my head uncomfortably and he grabs my hand. He looks at it and I look down at my hand.

I say, "What?"

"Wow," He replies with a raised eyebrow. "You nervous about something?"

I (finally) look up at him and see him looking at me worriedly. "No, why?"

"It's just your nails," He rubs his thumb over them. "They're terrible."

I scrunch up my face offended.

"I mean," He rushes to explain. "You've been biting your nails… it's not like your nails are ugly, or…I mean normally they're nice…" He places his hand on his head knowing that he's just digging a deeper hole. "I'm just saying they don't look like they used to."

I tear my hands out from under his grasp.

"Well, maybe if I had a reason to keep my hands looking nice – like, I don't know, a pretty little ring or something – I wouldn't be reminded of the dirty diapers I have to constantly keep changing and then maybe I would attempt to keep my hands up to your stupid high standards of nail !"

And then I storm away again.

Although I'm a hundred percent sure he knows I'm angry with him, it's still kind of on the fence on whether or not I'm only angry about the proposal thing.

(DC)

July 20, 2011: Later, Derek's Bed.

You know, I don't know why I was so caught up in the proposal business in the first place. Whether or not Derek proposes to me should not matter to me as much as it did. I love Derek and he loves me.

Which you know, is good enough for me.

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling this way a couple hours ago.

"Casey,"

I look up at the voice by the door, and realize that I had fallen asleep on the bed in the nursery room. I wipe the slob from my mouth.

"What are you doing in the nursery?"

"Hiding,"

"From me?" He sounds hurt and when I look up and see his face I recognize that's exactly what he is.

I shrug, not really wanting to hurt him.

"Why are you hiding from me?" He says it again only this time a lot softer. His face is pale and I notice that he hasn't stepped into the room yet. He remains leaning against the doorpost.

"I'm not hiding from you," I begin, rubbing away invisible wrinkles on my shirt. "I'm hiding from the fact that you just don't want to marry me."

"Casey," He sighs, walking into the room.

"No, Derek, it's okay," Somewhere between his 'Casey' and my statement I started crying. I wipe at my nose. "I understand. I understand that you don't want to be married to me. That's fine."

When he doesn't say anything (like he was SUPPOSED to - UGH! Men!) I continue, "Actually, I don't get it. I'm nice. Most of the time. And, I like to think I'm attractive. _And_, I'm the mother of your three children, _and_ I'm smart even though I haven't had a stable job in a few years. And–and I love you. And, I'm pretty sure those are good enough reasons, right? Good enough reasons for anyone to want to marry anyone. So, what's _wrong_ with me? Just tell me. And, I'll fix it. Huh? What's wrong with me?"

Derek rushed over to me grabbing my face in his hands and kissing the tears on my face. "Nothing, Case. Nothing. You're absolutely perfect."

"Then why won't you propose to me?"

I realize now that I was being totally whiny and kind of if you look at it cross-eyed (or maybe just regularly) a little bratty. Geez, I can be annoying sometimes.

He pulls me onto his lap and pulls his fingers through my hair. "Well, I'm not going to lie. The first month I didn't ask you because I was trying to mess with you."

I smack him hard on the chest. "That's not funny!"

He laughs. "It _was_ funny." He clears his throat seriously. "But, the last three months I didn't ask 'cause - I just couldn't."

My face falls and I try my best not to completely fall apart.

He continues quickly, "I couldn't because…" He takes both of his hands and yanks at his hair. "Dammit Casey. I'm not trying to be an asshole, I just feel like a fuckin' wuss."

"What do you mean?"

"Honestly, Casey. I just don't feel like I can live up to your extremely high standards."

"What?" I squeak out. "That doesn't even make sense. You're more successful than I am?"

"Not in that way," He cries. "I've been trying to propose to you. But, everything I come up with just doesn't… I thought, 'well our thing has always been fighting, so why don't I propose to her during one of our fights.' But, that didn't work out well. You freakin' freaked out at me. And, I don't know. I got scared. I wanted it to be perfect since I screwed up so royally last time, but I just couldn't put myself out there to be completely rejected again."

Wow. This was the first time that Derek openly admitted that it was his fault that the first proposal sucked so badly.

"I wouldn't have rejected you!"

"Like you didn't the first time?" He raised his eyebrow at me.

"That wasn't my fault." I poked him in the chest. "That was a _really_ sucky proposal and you know it."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to run out of the house and make me feel like a total loser." He grabs my hand and then rubs his thumb over my fingers. "Trust me, Case. There's nothing I want more than to put a pretty little ring on your ugly little fingers."

He looks up at me with a smirk and winks. I can't help by smile.

He says, "I just can't be as creative as you want me to be. I'm Derek Venturi. I don't do this romance crap. And, I've already gone through a really bad engagement. I want to make sure I get it right this time."

"I know." I nod. "I don't know why I'm being so high maintenance. It's new." Derek looks at me doubtfully. "It was really dumb and I apologize. Being married doesn't really matter that much to me, anyways." I snuggle in closer to him. "A piece of paper isn't going to change the way I feel about you."

He smiled, grabbed my face, and kissed my cheek really hard.

"Ow, Derek, let me go!" I screeched, trying to take off his face that was killing my cheek.

"I'll only let you go if you feed me," Derek demands. I give him a stern look which I don't know if he saw with his lips attached to my face. Derek and his food. I swear, it's like he's an empty pit.

"Never,"

Derek laughs. "Then you shall suffer!" He rolls on top of me effectively cutting off all the circulation throughout my entire body.

"Fine, fine." He lets go of me. I get up from the couch and head toward the kitchen. "I'll make you some goddamn food."

"I want bacon!" He continues to yell.

I can't see his face since he's in the family room, but I roll my eyes anyway.

"You'll get what I make you, and you'll like it." I claim.

But it's all talk, because of course, in the end, I always give him what he wants.

I open the refrigerator in search of the bacon and you'll never guess what I saw. Well, maybe you will, 'cause it's kind of obvious. But, pretend you don't know anyway.

There sitting all alone on the top shelf of the refrigerator (where clearly everything else had been cleared out) was a little black box.

You know? THE black box. The black box that held my ring. The ring that made me Derek's property, even though the whole "property" thing is totally against all my beliefs. And, I also chose not to focus on the fact that he left the ring in the refrigerator. I one hundred percent refuse to analyze for a deeper meaning. Because this is Derek. My Derek. The (stupid, annoying, arrogant, chauvinistic) _ass_ that he's always been. And, now… He belongs to _me_. He's my property.

Immediately, tears begin to form in my eyes. I place my hands on my cheeks (after I gasped).

I grab the box and open it. There was NOTHING little about this ring. It was gorgeous. Not to flashy, not gaudy, but just the right size. I wondered who had helped him pick it out.

I spin around and there he is – leaning against the doorway with his arms folded in his very _Derek_ nonchalant way. Oh, how I love him.

And, he says simply, "Marry me, woman?"

I pull out this huge smile that even _I_ didn't know I was capable of making. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes. With a capital FINALLY!"

I run over to him and jump into his arms.

_And, the beautiful princess accepted the handsome prince's proposal and they would live on happily ever after. _

Well, maybe just until breakfast.

* * *

**REViEW! **

**LaUra. :) **


	21. The End

**I cried. Okay? I admit it. I have to let this chapter go. It'll never be good enough and i need to stop stressing. So, even though it's basically eleven o'clock. I'm taking it out of my hands. **

**I'd like to take this time to thank all the people who were so faithful to this story and reviewed like every chapter. You guys are awesome and are totally my inspiration. I love you guys. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek**

**

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**

**Epilogue**

October 21, 2019: Trip's Birthday: Car

I moved to the backseat of the car. I could not stand to be sitting next to Derek any longer. Besides, this way I could just pretend that he was my chauffer.

This is weird. Writing in a journal again, I mean. I haven't done this since I got married. I've been so busy that even the idea of taking time out of my crazy life to sit down and write about how I was feeling was laughable. But, now I definitely think it's time to start again. I need some serious venting and letting my frustrations out time. And, I'm starting on one of The Trip's notebooks I found underneath the seat I'm sitting on.

Oh, hold on. It's time I kick Derek's seat again. I've been doing this in five minute intervals.

This is how the whole thing started. Well, not really started. But, this is why I'm sitting in the back.

.

.

I keep looking at Derek out of the corner of my eye; however, whenever he looks back at me, I whip my head around and pretend I wasn't looking at him. Finally, after the, like, 5th time this routine continued he rolls his eyes and cries,

"What!"

I glare at him. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you."

He laughs. "You don't hate me."

"No," I shake my head back in forth. "You don't understand. I really really _really_ hate you. With a burning passion. I'm actually picturing you catching on fire right now."

He chuckles, looking like he doesn't believe me, and tries to grab my hand.

"Don't touch me! I hate you!"

Derek turned at the streetlight. "Casey, please, I didn't do it all by myself."

"Psh, psh… so." I poke him in his shoulder three times. "This. Is all. Your. Fault."

"How? How is it all _my_ fault? Alone?" Derek smirks at me.

"It just is. I don't want to go through this again, Derek. It was not what I would call fun the first time!"

"Well, your spectrum of fun is very small."

I scream out in frustration. "I _hate_ you!"

If I sound like I'm freaking out, then it's working.

Nothing could explain how angry and upset I am right now. And, nothing has ever made me this angry but Derek. And, my brain does this really weird thing that whenever I get this angry it automatically connects the feeling with Derek. So, it's not _me_ blaming everything on Derek. It's my brain. So, really I cannot be held responsible for said 'freaking out'.

The past seven years have been pretty magical. It was no fairytale but everything definitely started falling into place. After Derek proposed, we got married around 7 months later. About a year after we got married I finally got my journals published. And, then two months after that_ The Pages That Tell My Story_ was put on the Number One Best Seller's List. I can't even describe how happy I was that I was actually doing something with my life. Something that wasn't being done for me. If I wasn't married, I could have been paying my own bills.

The book was a hit. Woman all over the place loved it. Mothers, non-mothers, woman who had their men taken away from them, women who took men away from other woman, teenagers, young adults. Apparently it was a relief to know that you can still get your fairytale after a lot of bad shit happens to you.

Although, I wouldn't call getting surprised with the Trips shit. It was just definitely unexpected.

And, random. Really random.

I mean, I love them, of course. More than anything. It's just that having three kids at once is kind of ridiculously complicated.

That book basically changed my life. I was on shows like Oprah and Ellen. And, two years after that I sold the movie rights over to a really big movie company, who totally turned it into a blockbuster.

However, I would just like to say that the girl who portrayed me did not do such a hot job, okay. She definitely made me seem kind of neurotic. And, a little bit on the strange side. I always imagined an actress like Angelina Jolie playing me. When I expressed this to Derek, he laughed.

The movie did pretty well and only contributed in making the book an even bigger household name. You could imagine the high I was living on. It was pretty nice.

After that, I started writing books of the fiction variety that did well, also. But, nowhere near as well as my autobiography.

The Trips are doing amazing. It's their tenth birthday today, actually. Annoyingly, they are every bit just like Derek. Brooklyn (who Derek completely spoils to death) is turning into a very girly popular version of Derek. He is _so_ going to completely regret his influence in a few years when the boys start knocking down the doors. I can't wait 'till it all blows up in his face. Nate is starting to show real hockey playing potential, or so says Derek. He has him on early morning workout routines already, that Nate pretends to hate, but secretly loves. From September to early April spending time with Derek gets really hard, so Nate enjoys every minute of it. Sammy is totally mine. Bookworm extreme, but he totally has that dark (not like bad dark) mysterious vibe going on. I am going to introduce him to poetry soon. However, even with this he's definitely into sports. However, it might not be the sport Derek wanted. Derek caught him watching a football game yesterday and almost started crying. I had to literally yank him out of the room before Sammy started crying as well. I mean, geez. They're barely ten.

They have their whole lives ahead of them.

And, every time I think about how in only eight years they'll be leaving me…

No, Casey. You promised no tears today.

"Look, Case." Derek sighs. "Shit happens. We thought we had it under control, but we didn't." He looks at me with that 'Don't-you-just-love-me-'cause-I'm-so-charming' look. I almost slapped him.

"I mean," He continues. "It's not really a bad thing. It worked out well the last time."

"Says you!" I cry out. "You don't have to have anything ripped out of your vagina!"

"Neither do you." He says cockily. "You have that placenta previa thingy! You won't feel a thing."

"How dare you bring that up!" I slap him on his shoulder. "You're an ass."

I grab my purse and throw it in the back seat, and start climbing into the backseat.

"Casey, what the hell are you doing?"

"And, I won't feel a thing?" I cry out; pretending like he hasn't spoken, while trying to get my foot unstuck from in between the passenger seat and the armrest thingy. "Um, how about the months of throwing up I'll be doing? And, the feet and back pain? And all the swelling? And, the fatigue? And, the millions of POUNDS I will gain? And-and-and the frickin' cutting open of my fucking uterus, Derek? I still have a scar from that!"

"Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to excuse the whole pregnancy process. I'm just saying you won't have to go through all that labor crap."

I am not listening to him. "You are _such_ an asshole. An inconsiderate asshole."

"I thought you quit swearing." He says condescendingly.

"I thought you quit knocking me up." I reply in the same tone. "If you weren't so freaking all over me all the time this never would've happened!"

He doesn't respond.

Yeah, I totally got him there.

This is how we found out.

.

.

"Case," Derek says really concerned, rubbing my back. "This is like the third day in a row you've been puking. Maybe we should go to a doctor?" He places the back of his hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine." I continue brushing my teeth. "I'm just nervous."

"Whaddaya have to be nervous about?" He smirks.

"Um, how about the fact that are kids are turning ten today? They're gonna be on their own soon! They're gonna leave me! We're gonna be all alone!" Tears start falling down my face and Derek rolls his eyes.

"Princess, you gotta quit it with all these tears. You're freakin' out the kids!"

"You know what's freakin' out the kids? You telling them if they play football you'll _'keel over and die'!"_

Derek rolls his eyes. "Well, it's true."

"Derek, whatever our kids want to do, we support them one hundred percent."

Derek nods his head. "Sure, as long as what they want to do is play hockey."

I roll my eyes and continue my statement. "- which is why I bought Sammy a football."

"_WHAT!" _Derek shouts. "Are you high?"

"Stop shouting, you're giving me a headache."

They walk downstairs together and enter the kitchen. The Trips are all sitting down at the table laughing.

"How're my beautiful children today?" I say as tears start filling my eyes.

"Aw, geez, mom. You promised!" Nate cried out, placing his head down on the table.

Derek laughed, grabbing his cereal out of the cupboard.

I glare at him.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that after carrying you guys for nine months and then taking care of you every day and giving up my entire life for you guys and loving you-"

"Always the drama queen." Sammy jokes.

I place my hand over my heart at the same time Brook goes, "You guys are so inconsiderate. Can't you see that mom is going through something here? She realizes that soon we are going to be adults. We'll be out of the house, with trips of our own! Everyday she's closer to losing us! We're not babies anymore! And, now she's old! Do you know how rough that is on a woman?" She misses my trembling lips and Derek's _not_-subtle hand signals trying to get her to stop talking, and adds, "Men, right?"

"Right." I say quietly. "Thanks, honey."

She gives me a hug. "Love ya, mom."

I grin. "Love you, too, baby. And, Happy Birthday."

Derek goes from behind us, with his mouth full. "And, what's with all this old talk? We're not even 35 yet!"

"Dad," Nate says. "Anything over 30 is old. It just is."

Derek rolls his eyes. "I'm in better shape than most 20 year olds, right Miss Brooklyn?"

"Right, Daddy."

Nate sticks his tongue out at her, coughing out, "Suck-up!"

They continue talking amongst themselves. I just watch. I loved my family. I don't think I would trade them in for everything. Big families were the best, even though as a teenager I pretended to hate it. In the midst of my thoughts I got lightheaded. I stumble a little to my left when Derek catches my arm.

"Casey,"

I lean over and throw up all over his shoes.

"Okay, that's it. We're going to the doctors." Derek says firmly. He steps out of his shoes and walks me toward the garage. "Trips! Clean that up!"

"But, I'm not dressed to go out!" I complain. "At least let me brush my teeth."

"I don't care. And, no." He says while putting on a new pair of sneakers.

What a tyrant.

Even when we got into the car, I tried to assure him that I was fine.

"Derek, the feeling's gone. I'm totally good now. Let's turn around."

"The clinic's only, like, five minutes away."

I lean my head back against my seat. "Ugh! The free clinic takes forever!"

Derek looks over at me. "Do you want to die or something?"

"I'm _not_ dying!"

"She's been throwing up for the past three days. She's lightheaded. She's always in a poor mood. She's cranky. She's been feeling slightly off the past couple weeks." He lists.

"Wow, Derek. I didn't know your name was Casey!" I huff from the hospital bed thingy I'm sitting on.

The doctor laughs. "It's fine. I'll just run some tests and we'll get you out of here." He turns and walks out of the door.

"Couldn't we have done this tomorrow, Der?" I ask. "The Trips have their party later today."

He brushes my hair back, and wraps his arms around my waist bringing my face into his stomach. "I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"I am." I assure him. "I swear."

"Well, I really don't want to lose you. So, let me just do… whatever."

I sigh and lay out on the bed.

"Okay, we're all done with your tests." The doctor enters our room again.

"What's that?" I scream pointing at the object that the doctor brought in with him. Derek looks over at the doctor and his eyes widen.

"No, no, no, no, no. Take that thing out of here. Now!" He cries out.

"What he said."

"'fraid I can't do that." The doctor laughs. "You're pregnant."

"No." Derek and I say at the same time.

"Um," The doctor looks around confused. "Yes?"

"NO!" I scream. "Derek! Did you hear him?"

"I heard him." He says angrily. "And, I'm 'bout to punch him in his scrawny-ass face."

"I can't be pregnant! I have that ring thingy and I'm on the pill! We use like triple protection!"

The doctor nods his head. "Yes, well, contraceptives are not 100 percent effective. There is a very small margin for error. You guys must be that one in a million couple."

"Don't make me punch you." Derek glares.

So, after he puts all that cold gooey stuff on my stomach, he turns the ultrasound on and runs it over my stomach. Derek looks like he's going to throw up, so I could only imagine how my face looks.

The doctor looks really intently at the screen. "Yep! It looks like you're around three months pregnant. That's _one_ heart beat and there's-"

"Three months!" Derek looks over at me. "You've been pregnant for three months and didn't notice anything?"

"Shut up, Derek! Okay! Just Shut. Up."

Apparently I'm like really bad at noticing when I'm not having my period. This is the second time this happened.

"You'll have to be extremely careful this time around because of your placenta previa. So, we'll need to keep a closer eye on you. If you have feel like anything's wrong, let us know immediately. It's not healthy for you or the fetus. Possible complications are death, shock, bleeding. I wouldn't suggest working a lot."

"I'm a writer."

The doctor smiles. "Then, that's perfect."

"Nothing about this situation is perfect, doc!"

"Well," The doctor laughs nervously. "I haven't even told you the best part."

"We don't want to know the sex of the baby." I let him know.

"Yes, well, that's fine. I'm just pretty sure you want to know how many you're having this time around. I read your book." He smiles.

I start crying. "Oh, no."

"Again!" Derek cries out. "Is that even possible?"

"Am I like the most fertile woman in the entire history of the entire world, or something?"

The doctor, looking like he wished he was anywhere but there, continues in a strained voice. "Yes, well, congratulations! You're having twins."

And, then quickly exits the room.

I breathe out a huge breath.

"Well," Derek climbs on the bed with me and starts massaging my shoulders. "At least it's only two."

I shoot him a glare that I'm almost positive should have killed him.

.

October 21, 2019: Kitchen: Trip's Birthday Party

Playing hostess while trying not to let on that you're pregnant is hard work, let me tell you. First, you have to smile constantly, and when people ask you how you are you can't actually tell them. Because once you tell them worried everyone will just know that it's because you're about to add two more children to our zoo of a household.

And, Derek keeps looking over at me every ten minutes, which is obnoxious. Probably just to make sure that I'm not about to have a mental breakdown or about to off myself. But, it's getting kind of annoying. Like, please, he wasn't there in the beginning trimesters of my first pregnancy. I was alone. I can _so_ handle this myself.

I just wish there wasn't, like, a thousand annoying kids running around all over the place.

"This isn't a zoo, people!" I cry out to no one in particular. And, it doesn't matter anyway. Nobody listened to me.

"You okay, Case?" Emily asks, popping up out of nowhere with Sam at her side. "You seem tense."

I sigh, trying to shake the feeling off. "No, I'm fine. Time of the month?"

"You sure?" Sam laughs.

I nod, grabbing forgotten plates and cups off the ground.

"Here," Emily hands me her cup of wine. "Drink this."

"Um," Casey laughs nervously. "No, thanks."

"It'll calm you down." Emily adds.

"I just – I just don't like drinking in front of the children." I lie.

Emily and Sam laugh, not believing me. Assholes. I could so quit doing something if I wanted.

Sam goes, "Just like you quit cursing?"

At the same time Emily goes, "You drink in front of the kids all the time."

"Yeah, well," I say getting frustrated. "I'm trying to change!"

Emily's eyes widen. "Casey Venturi, there is only one reason that you would turn down a drink at a party-"

"It's a kid party." I remind.

"So? Casey, there is only one reason why you would and you told me that was never ever ever, with a capital AIN'T EVER, going to happen again."

Sam eyes widen as he catches onto what Emily is saying. Which, p.s. he has some nerve. He is working on his fourth child with his wife, Rachel, as we speak. And, they've only been together seven years.

I burst into tears, placing my hands over my face and the next thing I know I feel someone's hands on my arms leading me out of the backyard. Whoever it is, is behind me and leading me toward the bathroom, so I don't know who it is. They close the door behind us. I don't turn around. I just continue crying.

"Come on, Case,"

I recognize the voice as Derek's and mumble into my hands bluntly, "Derek, I can't do this."

He turns me around. "Yes, we can."

"Five children! Five! You think I can do five!"

"I know we can, Case."

"We?" I screech visciously. "What is this _we_?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" His eyes flash a quick speck of confusion, hurt and then anger.

"_Me_. Derek, me! You're always traveling. Especially now that you're team is like really good this year. You're leaving for Quebec tomorrow. And, I – I just don't think that I will be able to handle twins and triplets at the same time, Derek. Maybe it's not smart to have these babies. The Trips are at a crucial age. This is not a time for neglect and –"

"What the hell, Casey? I thought that I proved pretty well I could be around as much as possible the first time around. I know I travel. I know I'm really busy. But-"

I look up at him.

"We're doing it right this time. We're married. We have experience. We have help. _We _can do this."

"I know." I say. "I know. I'm just scared… of d-dying."

"What are you talking about?" He pulls my face out of his chest and stares right at me.

"I read a long time ago, the first time I was pregnant, that having children again with placenta previa is extremely risky. In fifty percent of woman, the most common complication is death. So, I guess I'm just scared that I'm going to die and that you… you won't be here." I sigh and look him right in the eye. "I am scared that I'll die alone. Without you."

"Oh, Case," He takes my face and smashes his mouth onto mine into a really passionate kiss. He pulls away and says, "Then you go where I go."

"What?" I say, trying to gain back my thoughts after that intense kiss.

"Follow me, Case." Derek goes more serious than I've ever seen him. "Follow me, or I'll quit."

"What? Have you lost your mind?" I smack his chest. "You can't quit."

Um, has he completely forgotten about our three children that live with us? We're not exactly teenagers anymore. We can't just pick up and leave nowadays. Not that we ever could. But, you get the point.

"Have you completely forgotten about the Trips?" I continue. "They have school and stuff."

"Casey, I can't," He hold on my face tightens. "I can't lose you. I can't… this is going to sound really cheesy but, I can't _live_ without you."

"Derek," My eyes water. "That's beautiful but, as much as you like to believe so, we can't control everything."

Derek, with a determined face, states, "We'll figure something out. We always do. We're a one in a million couple. We survive everything."

"Yeah?" He was starting to give me hope, in his stupid hopeful anything's-possible-ass way. "You think so?"

"I know so, Casey." He looks at me with this new weird look I've never seen him look at me with before. "We're Casey and Derek. We've got this. If I have to sit out a year, then I will."

"You mean that." I smile a watery smile. "You would do that for me."

"Of course, I would. I would do anything for you, Case. I'm in love with you."

"Still? Even after all this time?"

Derek laughs, joking, "We haven't even been married ten years yet, babe. Once The Derek Venturi falls in love with someone who almost never falls out!"

I punch him playfully, although I don't know if he knew I was joking. "Does that mean you're still in love with Trish the Bitch?"

His face freezes and he starts stammering. "No, no. I meant that... I said almost! I was just trying-"

I grab his face and basically shove my tongue down his throat.

That shut him up pretty quick, well until he said, "We are so getting your tubes tied after this."

"Mmhmm." I agree against his lips. I kiss his jaw and his arms begin to slip lower down my back. He took my lips again and it left the oddest feeling inside me. These kisses were different. They were filled with more passion, more love, more… he was kissing me like he'd never see me again. So, maybe he was serious. Maybe he would do anything for me. Maybe he meant it when he said I was his everything.

"Derek, if we don't stop now, we're going to end up having sex in the downstairs bathroom."

"Wouldn't be the first time." I feel him smirk against my neck and I laugh.

"Well, if you weren't so horny all the time…"

"If you weren't so insatiable…"

We laugh together. He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. "You with me, woman?"

I nod. "I'm with you." I let go of his hand and mold myself into his side, he wraps his arm around me and holds me tight.

He kisses the top of my head and whispers, "What Derek wants, Derek gets." He smirks, kissing my hair again. "And, I want you."

I smile. The idea of that is actually insanely comforting. I lift up on my tip toes and kiss his cheek and his cheek turns pink. I laugh and we walk back to the party. Together.

So, after some serious consideration, I've realized that maybe this baby, sorry, I mean babies, won't be a bad thing. Maybe it's good. Maybe it'll bring Derek and I closer together. Derek and I can't live without each other. He's my other half. So, maybe my life _is_ a fairytale. But, like a sad Nicholas Sparks one where a whole bunch of drama happens, but always ends with the people together happily and with their love even stronger. Only this time no one's going to die.

The thought makes me smile.

* * *

**So, for oldtimes sake... **

**Review? **

**Laura :) **


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